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I know you're not trying to sound juvenile but you are acting that way. I have been married for 17 years and don't have a picture of my husband on my desk, my purse, etc. Does it mean I'm ashamed of him, not proud of him being my husband....no. I just don't do pictures. I am with your boyfriend, I don't care for Facebook either. I let my cousin talk me into putting a picture on my profile page and everybody came out of the woodworks with friend requests....even people I don't know. I don't care to respond because I'm not into that sort of thing. Some people are some aren't. You shouldn't question his dedication or love to you because he doesn't tout you as some kind of "trophy" to cast on a webpage or have as a wallet accessory.
I have 16 fb "friends" - 10 are family, 6 are really good friends and 4 of my best friends aren't even on fb. I joined as a means of keeping in touch with farflung family - especially the younger ones.
I have no pictures of myself, my husband, and the only picture is of my house and my sons dating back 25 years.
Don't sweat it. A lot of guys don't have photos of their S.O.'s on their desks or on FB. I'm hardly ever on FB, I have a few friends on there and I rarely check it. I've got one photo of myself (doing something stupid) and that's about it. I started the account when some family and friends were too lazy to email me photos of themselves, instead they said just check their facebook page periodically. I also kept my last name off of there and only used my first and middle names.
Another thing to consider, FB is also accessed by employers, stalkers, scammers, and whoever is somehow connected to your "friends". Perhaps he doesn't want to fall into the trap of getting too complacent on there and turning his life into an open book. Some people are just more comfortable with sharing than others.
I know you're not trying to sound juvenile but you are acting that way. I have been married for 17 years and don't have a picture of my husband on my desk, my purse, etc. Does it mean I'm ashamed of him, not proud of him being my husband....no. I just don't do pictures. I am with your boyfriend, I don't care for Facebook either. I let my cousin talk me into putting a picture on my profile page and everybody came out of the woodworks with friend requests....even people I don't know. I don't care to respond because I'm not into that sort of thing. Some people are some aren't. You shouldn't question his dedication or love to you because he doesn't tout you as some kind of "trophy" to cast on a webpage or have as a wallet accessory.
I totally agree with you.
The other thing with pictures in mens wallets is that being in the pocket, they do get worn quickly.
Some work places do not allow personal articles either.
And like you, some people don't want their picture on the internet.
Having photos in my wallet is such a high school thing to do. Hell, I stopped with the photos during high school. I couldn't stand girls asking me for photos so I just removed the stupid plastic covers from my wallet.
People at my work use to bug me about not having any personal items on my desk. I tell them, "im at work, I dont want to think about my personal life more than I already do while working." Also, I am a very private person so I don't want my photos to be an inviation for coworkers to ask me 20 questions thanks to the photos.
I HATE HATE HATE taking professional photos. I had to a couple X-mas ago because my sister wanted them...I was not a happy camper. I like taking photos when I'm traveling or having a party but thats it. No forced / fake smiling photos.
So yea, you are overthinking it. If your boyfriend is going to cheat on you, the photos aren't going to make the slightest difference.
OK...I guess I have to expect people to post rude and unnecessary responses...
....So all I'll say in my own defense is:
#1 I'm not a child, actually I'm in my early 30's.
#2 I think I already stated I had some bad previous relationship experiences as well. I've been burned very badly TWICE before. Yes, I know everyone goes through these things...its called life, but for those of you criticizing me, how many of you can honestly say that they have never over reacted or let past experiences effect the way the handle current relationships? I'm not saying everyone, but a few comments were just uncalled for...and I expect that.... thats fine. I did say I was affraid of history repeating itself...thats my insecurity and sometimes it helps to have a nuetral opinion. I guess the fact that I can recognize that and admit to my own imperfections means I cant be all that immature.
#3 Mentioning the number of his FB friends wasn't meant to judge him...I dont care about that. I only stated that to say he hasn't been on that long and really isn't into it. I'm really not sure how that could come across as I was belittling him but I guess I should have been clearer.
#4 Nothing in this entire thread stated anything that would make me a nag. I'm the furthest thing from a nag. We only ever discussed this topic once and during the conversation I asked a question, not ordered him to plaster my picture on anything. I dont even go to his page (again...stated before that I didn't even know the number of people he was linked to) so I think that shows respect for his space and privacy.
Furthermore, the Pi$$ing on his territory comment... I dont even get why that was called for??? It was just inappropriate and uncalled for....and dumb. If I added MORE details about our every day interactions and life, I'd be hypocritcal for one, and it would have made an already long post, even longer.... that wasn't my aim. Actually we have a very good relationship and respect each other's space despite living together.... and we do this all without nagging each other.
I guess my whole point came from every other man "we" know had pictures of their wives and girlfriends... and I just thought "it would be a nice gesture... it would feel nice." And there is nothing wrong with that feeling... as I'm not the only person in that boat. I just forgot that, as someone else posted; ..."SOME MEN JUST DONT DO PICTURES".... Good point. I totally agree. I completely respect that. And I appreciate the responses from the men who are the same way. Not ever being married, and having dated jerks prior to the good guy I'm with...I guess I just needed to get to that point and go through a good experience, to learn that. Sorry if I'm not perfect.
So on that note, thank you to everyone else who actually had something positive or even nuetral and truthful comments to add...I greatly appreciate it as it helped me clear my head and think logically. For the others, maybe you should actually read the question before you decide to blast someone just because it makes you feel clever today.
Ep- Now see... I wouldn't even go that far. I have never and would never, invade his personal property.
I guess I just have to expect when I post something like this people are naturally going to interpret it there own way, and it'll get blown waaaayyyy out of proportion. Like my whole picture question...I guess I just have to not sweat it and laugh it off. : )
Ep- Now see... I wouldn't even go that far. I have never and would never, invade his personal property.
I guess I just have to expect when I post something like this people are naturally going to interpret it there own way, and it'll get blown waaaayyyy out of proportion. Like my whole picture question...I guess I just have to not sweat it and laugh it off. : )
Talk with him about it if it bothers you. You'll have to compromise as to whether it bothers you more that he doesn't, or it will bother him more if he does. Pretty standard way to deal with conflicts.
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OK...I guess I have to expect people to post rude and unnecessary responses...
