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The thought of her using me to live up to a certain lifestyle never occurred to me until this turn of events happened, its not about the money its the proverbial principle of the situation, I'm sure had my parents passed away first she would have had no problem enjoying the increased money i would have put in the joint funds.
Why not take the chip off your shoulder ?
All you're managing to do is make it seem that you're some selfish guy, whose life revolves around money.
Ok, you may have paid more into the relationship financially, but how much has she contributed emotionally ?
How much has she made you happy ?
Who raised the children ?
If you paid in 2/3 of the cash, did she do 2/3 of the child rearing ?
Did she do the school runs ? Was she there 2/3 of the time to see to their needs and yours ?
Did she do 2/3 of the nighttime feeds, so you could get to work ok and make your glorious money ?
I'm not suggesting you're getting divorced now, I'm suggesting that unless you can stop what strikes me as petty jealousness about material things, you will be.
All you will do if you don't let this go, is drive a wedge between you both. Aside from jealousy and abuse, I'm not sure there exists a bigger wedge than financial resentment.
There's much more to life than money, my friend.
Relationships are not some points scoring contest about who does more than the other.
Sorry, I keep forgetting you guys aren't in the UK, IIRC, in the UK it can be taken into account in a divorce. If not the cash itself, any asset purchased with it becomes matrimonial property.
Doesn't change the fact it's not the OP's money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
Actually, it probably isn't. In most jurisdictions, if not all, inheritance is not marital property for purposes of divorce.
Why don't you start putting some of your money aside for YOU. It may help with the resentment which I totally get!! I would just change the way you've done things. Since your kids are in college they are grown up so just start by for example splitting household expenses down the middle. That seems fair. IMO you should be able to make choices too.
Why don't you start putting some of your money aside for YOU. It may help with the resentment which I totally get!! I would just change the way you've done things. Since your kids are in college they are grown up so just start by for example splitting household expenses down the middle. That seems fair. IMO you should be able to make choices too.
Nice idea but as a substitute teacher that on a good week might get 2 days of work she could never make enough to pay for half the monthly expenses. I have started a private savings account,amazing how fast money accumulates when you arent a spendthrift
As for
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gimme3steps You two have more than just money problems.
We do now! but as the problem arose 2 years ago we just dont talk about it any more.
I would too (feel that way). I can see putting it away for the kids' education, weddings, down payment on a house, etc., or just investing it for retirement. Morally, I think the OP has a right to know what is happening with the money. "It's mine and none of your business" is no attitude to have in a healthy marriage.
Nice idea but as a substitute teacher that on a good week might get 2 days of work she could never make enough to pay for half the monthly expenses. I have started a private savings account,amazing how fast money accumulates when you arent a spendthrift
Do you think that had anything to do with it? I can't see why a spouse would withhold monies in a marriage unless something is going on. Maybe she feels you spend too easily and is saving for your future/retirement?
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