Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My [pending-ex]fiancee says his life would be less stressful and easier without me. I don't see why, then, he thinks he should keep trying to work it out. He constantly criticizes my decisions, actions, etc. Why, then, keep saying, "Well, if you would just do ______[this easy thing]_____ differently, it would be ok..." I mean, if you feel that someone makes your life difficult and stressful, the solution is pretty clear. Why argue about ways to make it better?
Location: i liv in a town, on the world..lol.. wat about evry1 else?? hehe
42 posts, read 89,892 times
Reputation: 28
i dont understand that either. my parents [my mom and my step dad that will be soon adopting me] argue all the time over my little things i do wrong. my step dad dont seem to understand how much it bothers my mom to have a mean comment to ALL of her actions. if one [ theres a total of five kids in our family] of us kids wanna do something and we ask him then its "i dont know go ask your mom!" but if she says yes then shes wrong [according to him].. even when she is told to make the decision.
so i understand how fusterating it is for you.. [you can write me if you need to talk..]
My [pending-ex]fiancee says his life would be less stressful and easier without me. I don't see why, then, he thinks he should keep trying to work it out. He constantly criticizes my decisions, actions, etc. Why, then, keep saying, "Well, if you would just do ______[this easy thing]_____ differently, it would be ok..." I mean, if you feel that someone makes your life difficult and stressful, the solution is pretty clear. Why argue about ways to make it better?
Just curious. Rant over!
I think more to the point is why you want to stay with someone who is so critical of you.
Thanks for your compassion, always-rain-lover. Apt, really. Most of our arguments revolve around my decisions as they pertain to my sister, who is a teenager and has lived with me for a few years. He feels I always choose her best interests over his, which is true, I suppose.
Fair point, Djuna. I guess I think someday he'd relax aka 'change.' Hold the gigglter.
1) People rarely change, so don't hold your breath for him to relax. If things are rough now, it's not going to get any easier.
2) I'd question your own readiness for marriage if your partner feels you are putting your younger sister ahead of the man you are supposed marry, especially since you admit it. I would be very upset if my partner constantly put his family first over me.
Location: i liv in a town, on the world..lol.. wat about evry1 else?? hehe
42 posts, read 89,892 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen
Thanks for your compassion, always-rain-lover. Apt, really. Most of our arguments revolve around my decisions as they pertain to my sister, who is a teenager and has lived with me for a few years. He feels I always choose her best interests over his, which is true, I suppose.
Fair point, Djuna. I guess I think someday he'd relax aka 'change.' Hold the gigglter.
ST, yea, I question my preparedness for marriage, to him, especially, which is why we have not gotten married. I don't always trust his motives - I just don't generally trust him. He'll say something is ok at one moment (e.g., "OK. I don't really like sleeping with dogs, but I know your dog is important to you, so it's fine") and then months later complain about it incessantly and claim it was never ok and if I cared about him, I wouldn't have done it in the first place.
It's easy to see from the outside that we should leave the relationship. In the past, we have tried to work on things because the issues seem so small. But they're only as small as anyone lets them be, so if the same complaints about the same stuff comes up over and over again, obviously they're not small. It's tough to break up when you both want to find a way to work through it.
That commentary, though - "My life would be a lot easier without you" - that little gem, that is a diamond that should blaze my trail right out.
Based on how you typed "pending-ex" fiancee, I think you're on the right track. People like that will always find something to criticize about the other person. First it's <some simple thing> and next it's <another simple thing> and so forth. No one needs a life time of being picked on for being who they are.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
