Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I didn't realize just how f'd up my childhood was. I could tell some tales here that would surely have warranted the authorities coming in and removing me from my mom.
There was never any physical abuse, but certainly no where near the Cleaver family either. Its a wonder that I've done as well in life as I have, granted I have my issues, but considering the source......
I think its all relative, cause every time I think I had it bad growing up along comes a story that just drops your jaw.
There's a saying that pain is our teacher... Well, I'm a certified PHD in that department, LOL.
I am thankful for what I have, and I look forward to what life has in store for me.
My parents have been married for 41 years, but I really don't think relationship issues children of broken homes face as adults are any different than that of adult children with parents in bad and toxic marriages. It's the behavior of the parents themselves, whether they are married or not.
It's ridiculous to blame your current adult issues on your parents mistakes. Get over it. Take responsibility for your own life. Move on. You are a grown up, you have a grasp of what life is about - you are no longer that kid who was confused and upset because everything was out of your control. You are capable of understanding that **** happens, but it doesn't always have to happen to you.
How do you think that has shaped your view on relationships/marriage today? Do you think it has had a negative impact on how you handle your relationships? No effect, or even positive?
For me personally, I feel that my parent's divorce has had an exceedingly negative impact on how I handle my relationships. I wish my parents would have had worked harder on their marriage to make it work, to set a good example, at least until my brother and I had grown up. Introduce stepparents, half-siblings, etc., this really put my brother and I in the middle of a very confusing place, feeling unsure of where we belonged in the world.
I am afraid of relationships and opening my heart to people, because I associate it with heartbreak and disappointment rather than something that can be beautiful and fulfilling. I am not an easy person to get to know, and I know that is a defense mechanism. I need to overcome this problem myself, however...I can't blame my parents for everything!
But anyway, I just wanted to hear some thoughts about what others think/feel about growing up in a divorced family...
Some people let their past influence their future. You cant change the past only learn from it. You said your parents divorce had a major impact on you..You should look at it as your parents loved you but they were not happy in the marriage and the marriage wasnt your fault.
Your really not saying how or what your parents did that it effected you.
You are not your parents your dwelling to much on the negative you knew as a child to have a loving relationship
Your an adult now and your responsible for your own happiness not your past or anyone else.
Do you know anyone who marriage or relationship you admire..Why not learn from them.
Look at the positive you can offer someone and the positive they can add to your life.
People who are negative will try and blames others for their unhappiness so wake up each and everyday and look at all the good the world has to offer you today...
Good luck...
p.s. my parents werent divorced but they sure fought like hell and at times I did wish they were divorce. I look at it as being raised by them has given me learning lessons in life what and what not to do.
How do you think that has shaped your view on relationships/marriage today? Do you think it has had a negative impact on how you handle your relationships? No effect, or even positive?
For me personally, I feel that my parent's divorce has had an exceedingly negative impact on how I handle my relationships. I wish my parents would have had worked harder on their marriage to make it work, to set a good example, at least until my brother and I had grown up. Introduce stepparents, half-siblings, etc., this really put my brother and I in the middle of a very confusing place, feeling unsure of where we belonged in the world.
I am afraid of relationships and opening my heart to people, because I associate it with heartbreak and disappointment rather than something that can be beautiful and fulfilling. I am not an easy person to get to know, and I know that is a defense mechanism. I need to overcome this problem myself, however...I can't blame my parents for everything!
But anyway, I just wanted to hear some thoughts about what others think/feel about growing up in a divorced family...
For myself, I don't even want children--but I think that children deserve a parent at home and a parent who works...and that shouldn't be the same parent. I think that single parenthood is a form of child abuse. The child should have two parents, even if you have to give it up for adoption.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
My parents staying together in their miserable marriage taught me well how to endure a miserable marriage and I, in turn, taught my children. We wished back then they'd divorce but no chance. They must've been happy in their misery. Nearly 50 years later, they're still together and they're actually happy now, for real--not just in their misery.
It's ridiculous to blame your current adult issues on your parents mistakes. Get over it. Take responsibility for your own life. Move on. You are a grown up, you have a grasp of what life is about - you are no longer that kid who was confused and upset because everything was out of your control. You are capable of understanding that **** happens, but it doesn't always have to happen to you.
I understand where you are coming from but...you know absolutely nothing about my life or childhood beyond what I've shared in my initial post. Let's stick to the topic at hand, if you come from a broken home do you think it has affected you negatively, positively, or not at all? I didn't ask for personal attacks.
It's ridiculous to blame your current adult issues on your parents mistakes. Get over it. Take responsibility for your own life. Move on. You are a grown up, you have a grasp of what life is about - you are no longer that kid who was confused and upset because everything was out of your control. You are capable of understanding that **** happens, but it doesn't always have to happen to you.
My parents staying together in their miserable marriage taught me well how to endure a miserable marriage and I, in turn, taught my children.
YES!
So sad that people who do this THINK they are doing the right thing for their kids (staying in a bad marriage) when in reality all they are doing is setting their own kids up to accept and live in miserable marriages too. Kids learn what they live people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Its a wonder that I've done as well in life as I have, granted I have my issues, but considering the source......
