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Okay,you really like a girl/guy or you're in love with a guy/girl who happens to be Jewish,but you're not Jewish(It could be any religious,I just choose Judaism) he/she tells you that you're not the man/woman for him/her because you're not Jewish,unless you convert to Judaism. What would you do?
Okay,you really like a girl/guy or you're in love with a guy/girl who happens to be Jewish,but you're not Jewish(It could be any religious,I just choose Judaism) he/she tells you that you're not the man/woman for him/her because you're not Jewish,unless you convert to Judaism. What would you do?
Hypothetically (since I am not single now), if she were hot like the sun, I'd convert to Judaism in a heartbeat.
I'd be a secret catholic too, because my heart lies in Catholicism. I won't mind pretending to break bread every passover. The whole world knows I'm a bread junkie
i wouldn't let her force my hand. i'd stall, and give her plenty of time to change her decision. i'd stubbornly insist on framing the real issue as her decision whether or not to marry a Jew, as opposed to my decision whether or not to convert.
when push came to shove, i'd smile and wish her good luck finding a nice Jewish boy.
I was raised by a Muslim father and a Christian mother, married for 43 years and both very deeply religious people. And while they had issues just like any other marriage, none of it was because of their faith or religion. Religion should never be an obstacle when two people are in love.
Well, I am going to marry a Jewish man and I'm in the process of converting, so the answer is- yes, I'd convert. I actually started exploring Judaism before we got together, so I didn't convert just to marry him. I didn't have any interest in the religion I was raised in and it was an easy decision.
I'd convert because I'm not religious and if there is something stellar about that person I'd be willing to bend on the religion issue because I don't feel strong enough about it to make an issue out of it.
Last edited by genx; 06-01-2010 at 02:00 PM..
Reason: grammar
I suppose it depends on the exact circumstances, but generally, it would be a mistake.
Conversion would be no big deal if the person just wants you to formally join the faith without really changing your life, but then you have to wonder: if your SO isn't observant, why is it so important to him/her that you convert? It seems kind of shallow and unintelligent, and it would be a turn-off for me.
On the other hand, you have a real, honest-to-goodness conversion, after which you marry a deeply religious and observant person. The shallowness problem is no longer there, but it is more than made up for by a different set of complications. Orthodox Judaism, for example, isn't just a faith -- it's a whole lifestyle. It's a religion that has to be observed every minute of every day. From keeping kosher to going to the mikveh to observing the Sabbath to daily prayers and blessings, etc. -- you have to throw away your entire life and adapt someone else's as your own. This can be very hard. It involves a destruction of one's identity and living someone else's life -- too big a sacrifice, in my opinion, just to get the guy. If you really believe, then by all means. But marriages built on huge, one-sided sacrifices are severely handicapped from the start.
This thread brought back memories of someone I knew in childhood, a friend of my mother's. For several years, this woman dated a guy who followed some Eastern tradition, which involved him being vegan, sticking to a very strict exercise regimen, and drinking his own urine every morning. Yes, you read that correctly -- urine therapy. He was extremely handsome, athletic, and intelligent -- and he told his girlfriend that he could only marry a woman who embraced his lifestyle. Because he was such a great catch, and the girlfriend was going into her late thirties, she obliged. And they got married. But of course, the wedding is the end of the road only in romcoms. A sacrifice like that takes a lifetime to complete -- a lifetime full of drinking one's own morning excretions under a watchful eye of the husband drinking his. It never, ever gets easier, which the woman found out to her chagrin and bewilderment.
Funny thing, she started doing that after the wedding. Before the wedding, during the trial period, she always managed to keep it down, though just barely. Afterwards, she would always get violently ill. I guess having a goal reachable in the near future makes it easier. Once that goal is achieved, maintaining the lifestyle becomes a nightmare.
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