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Suddenly, Jay told me, he felt a burning sensation in his back. The woman, who had just arrived and had just begun drinking, had the affrontery to burn a hole through Jay's shirt and literally burned the skin on his back with that cigarette!
I think you're confusing hurting one's feelings (due to hurtful words or an argument) and getting cheated on.
If we're having an argument then it's expected to happened. All couples go through that but it's eventually solved that day.
However, cheating is a very devastating effect that can also possible play a role in negative concepts about the opposite gender, trust issues, communication, love and the list goes on. They have basically ruin you for a long time by cheating on you. All those times you invested in the relationship are nothing but a disguise now and it might take a while for you to get back to your normal self again.
An argument between couples is normal while cheating is not.
Statistically, it's pretty clear that cheating, although undesirable, is pretty normal.
Still, the issue is you hurt my self-esteem so I get to physically assault you?
dont forget my acknowledgment that men are sexually predatory and pedophiles is equally spiteful by me. An acknowledgment that, as a male, would technically only spite myself by society's standard (and my own..lol); and to a much worse degree than simply being accused of being spiteful. honest.
If my experience on these boards is any guide, statements to the effect that men are "natural predators" aren't used to vilify men -- they are used to justify predatory behavior and to vilify women who supposedly don't take appropriate precautions against such behavior by not dating, not talking to men, not venturing out of the house and perhaps not existing. An exaggeration at the end there, I know, but it conveys the general idea. If, on the other hand, we conclude that all humanity is ****, men being rapists and women being spiteful (a poor defense against rape, if you ask me), then I don't see what the purpose is of having a dialogue at all. Let's just all go to our respective bunkers and simmer in resentment.
Anyone who makes general statements about personality traits that are common to all men, or all women, or all the members of some other group are just displaying their ignorance.
The point of the story, to you men and women who think women are never to be struck, is DO NOT DO STUPID THINGS! And this includes not assaulting men verbally in their faces just because you're a woman and you think you will get away with it! And don't strike a man first because unlike some men in this forum (including me), there are men out there who will punch you with all the strength they have.
My oh my, Sprawling. You know, my job revolves around saying unpleasant things to people, most of whom are men. Guess I should quit now and limit my conversation to weather and apple pie from now on. Because if there are people who shouldn't have have to control their behavior, it's male thugs.
Anyone who makes general statements about personality traits that are common to all men, or all women, or all the members of some other group are just displaying their ignorance.
My oh my, Sprawling. You know, my job revolves around saying unpleasant things to people, most of whom are men. Guess I should quit now and limit my conversation to weather and apple pie from now on. Because if there are people who shouldn't have have to control their behavior, it's male thugs.
Do you think Jay was wrong to hit the foolish woman who assaulted him first and scarred his back with a cigarette? Yes or no, Redisca.
EDIT: your job is your JOB. Even these "thugs" you must say unpleasant things to are aware that you do not do this to spite them or out of any animus; rather, you are doing so in a professional situation. Furthermore, these things you say - is it tantamount to verbal assault in their faces about their mothers, their fathers, etc?
I think the overall moral to the story is, place your hands on someone sure enough, but be prepared for WHATEVER repercussion is sure to follow. That goes for anyone, male or female! Everyone isn't as upstanding as the majority us, so strike at your own risk.
If my experience on these boards is any guide, statements to the effect that men are "natural predators" aren't used to vilify men -- they are used to justify predatory behavior and to vilify women who supposedly don't take appropriate precautions against such behavior by not dating, not talking to men, not venturing out of the house and perhaps not existing. An exaggeration at the end there, I know, but it conveys the general idea. If, on the other hand, we conclude that all humanity is ****, men being rapists and women being spiteful (a poor defense against rape, if you ask me), then I don't see what the purpose is of having a dialogue at all. Let's just all go to our respective bunkers and simmer in resentment.
Understood...and I dont advocate resentment nor spite. Nor do I advocate vilifying women who have been raped AT ALL. NOR do I endorse women who have falsely vilified or accused men as rapists (this has happened to me before...). But the only reason I brought up sexually predatory nature of men and the pedophilic nature of men is because you mentioned rape as a possible nature of men. (not that you accused men of being rapists, but rather you brought forth the question in the broader context of your response to my statement about women being spiteful).
What Im considering spiteful nature, is wanting to say or do something for no other purpose than to inflict pain (presumably to attain a temporal sense of power). While rape could be considered spiteful in the most vague, abstract sense of the word, according to the research I have read, men who rape are doing so for both sexual fulfillment and the gratification of its power for them. The pain to the subject is mere collateral damage to their own sexual gratification - their sexual gratification stemming from power of course.
Rape certainly isnt better than being spiteful, of course...But my point is that I acknowledge that there are certain characteristic underpinnings for each of the respective genders.
Its a good question you raise about this dialogue...I suspect (and this is just my own opinion) we are having this dialogue because the courts, our legal system, and our laws have already very rightfully accepted that a man acting on his carnal nature is unacceptable. -that being rape-
However, with the current double standards that exist in our legal system, there are no legal ramifications to a woman's scorn. And any legal ramifications are woefully weak and lopsided at best. Thus far we (society) only recognize that hell hath no fury..and that a man had better not forget it.
Last edited by solytaire; 06-08-2010 at 10:40 PM..
Do you think Jay was wrong to hit the foolish woman who assaulted him first and scarred his back with a cigarette?
Easy question: yes, he was wrong.
If it had been necessary to hit her to stop her from burning him that would have been justified.
For him to just pound her to the ground because she caused him physical pain had nothing to do with self-defense and everything to do with retaliation, also known as revenge.
If he was justified in beating her down, would he have been justified in shooting her? Stabbing her? Following her to her house and burning the house down?
If your answer to these questions is no, where do you draw the line?
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