Quote:
Originally Posted by tigetmax24
While I'm inclined to the notion that certain behavioral tendencies are genetically inherited, there would be, it seems to me, a vast difference between having an inherited predisposition and being unable to make a life choice in order to override certain inherited predispositions.
Can you help me to understand why it is that you apparently have no power and are, apparently forced "WITHOUT choice" towards this "unchosen trait?"
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Tigetmax, I think you are genuine in asking your question and have a true wish to understand- and not to steal the OPs fire, but I'd like to answer on my own 'supposition' (being that I am completely hetero, mind you)...now I haven't been on this site for a while, so please forgive this rant I'm about to go on!
You first mention "behavioral tendencies". That may be your first mistake, with all due respect. While sex is definitely a behavior, the urge to have it in the first place, is NOT. Nobody does anything without a payoff, and when it comes to simple instincts- which sex definitely is- people engage in it for the literal payoff, because it satisfies them- physically (and as well spiritually, when it comes to sex, because love is most typically tied to sexual relations).
Humans are animals and we definitely have our instincts and needs, and the sexual one is pretty damn strong! And most people can easily say that they began having those biological "urges" around puberty...and so let's make an example: you, Tigetmax- when you began having those "urges" and so forth, did you make a decision as to who you wanted to, shall we say, help you "satisfy" those urges? Did you sit, maybe ponder whether or not a boy or girl might be better adept to please you? I bet not. If you were a boy from my generation, you would've been knocking off to your Farrah Fawcett poster without a second thought. Know why? Cos you are like most everyone else your age- GAY people included- and are just 'turned on' by who you're turned on by! Your gay friends back then (and yes, I'm sure you had some) had that same Farrah poster, but probably didn't get as much out of it as you did.
And VERY seldom there may come into play life circumstances that might change one's innate sexual preference. Assuming you are a male and heterosexual, is there ANYTHING that could possibly happen in your life to sway you into being intimate with another man?!? NO. So what makes you think that other straight men would just CHOOSE that??!? Pfft! Men are visceral and the literal thought of another man naked around them- even to reasonable non-homophobes is just gross to them.
SO- my conclusion is that anyone who actually entertains (or simply spouts off whether they are honest with themselves or not) the notion that homosexuality is a "choice" falls into one of three categories:
1. They are bisexual. Thus, they themselves have a choice as to which sex they can be physically and spiritually fullfilled, so they would of course assume that others are like them. It's normal for people to believe that everyone else feels the same things as they.
2. They are homosexual themselves, and are in absolute denial, and it scares the HELL out of them, because they want to "fit in", not be ridiculed (by bigots like themselves), etc.. So, they resort to something manmade, like religion, in order to give them a way "out". These types usually adhere to the stricter, more fundamental religions because within them, there are more rules- and more outlined, literally scripted reasons to justify intolerance. PERFECT for disguising one's true self, spiritual and otherwise. Of course it's common knowledge that very often, despite living the lie they do on the surface, they'll seek sexual gratification outside their marriage/commitment (and in my personal opinion, that is TWO wrongs, first being not living as god intended you to live and second, lying to your spouse and family...)
3. They have been so completely sheltered and brainwashed to the point where they simply cannot think logically, and are only able to think within the confines of what they have been taught. They aren't able to emote and relate ethically with regard to particular situations and/or circumstances- they relate everything only within the parameters of their limited scope of culture/religion/knowledge.
There you have it. If there's a fourth category- I don't know it. And if there remains any logical "choice" that anyone can truly justify to explain why anyone would want to have sex with a person of their own sex- please, do tell.
Now as per the OP and comparing being gay to religion: well obviously, religious practice IS a choice. No matter what you were taught to believe, and irregardless of any molding by your culture or family- with your own will and strength, you can still look around you, educate yourself and learn all you can in order to make a conscious decision about your own spirituality, and how and where you practice it. But who you are attracted to? That is NO choice, not for the majority of living breathing humans, anyway. It's not a conscious thought! You are attracted to the sex you're attracted to and from there, you love who you love and it is what it is, plain and simple. Period.
The only "choice" with regard to one's sexual actions is whether or not one opts to be true to themselves and thus live to their fullest potential. Which is a choice that EVERYONE should make, and who we choose to bed with is so RIDICULOUSLY minute a decision that I can't actually believe I've wasted so much time writing several paragraphs to defend it.
And that's just it- if people would stop worrying about what others think and do, and just LIVE, LOVE and BE...then we'd all get a lot more done, including becoming a more sensitive and spiritually advance race of people, instead of being little short of a bunch of backwoods hicks that fistfight over power. Which is what our world relations has come to. Mostly based on religion, which breeds intolerance, much like we have here...!
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No, I'm not gay, but my brother was (he died last year) and many of my friends are.
