Mormons and the family, or lack thereof (grace, priests, LDS)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
D217 & Heuffenhardt... thanks for your kindness & encouragement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
I believe this. What I see in Catholicism and similar Protestant religions is that one, or both, spouses don't stop believing, but their attendance and involvement tapers off, though it rarely affects their families and relationships to their extended families. However, when one spouse starts finding him/herself through Eastern thought and the other spouse remains nominally Christian, this is a recipe for disaster. In fact, most marriages seem to survive one spouse becoming agnostic more so than the conversion to an "esoteric" religion.
Yeah, I guess it really depends on involvement.
There was a study trying to figure out what, if any, effect religion had on physical health.
It turned out that those highly involved or not involved at all, did worse, and those who were moderately (or casually) involved did best.
I don't subscribe to any one religion now.
I just try to search for truth wherever it can be found.
But there are some aspects of Mormonism I simply can't accept - it's not so much the members... most of them are great.
It's mostly the financial corruption & cognitive distortions taught by Mormon leaders, which I see as harmful & necessary to expose & bring to light.
You accept his religion but if you are unwilling to embrace it it means that you can't be married in the temple and sealed for eternity to him.From his mindset that means in the next life his dad and mom and brothers /sisters and their spouses will all still be together for eternity and he will suddenly be unmarried for eternity.Many if not most devout lds people I know who aren't married to other lds people hope their spouse will eventually 'come around and join the club' and when that doesn't happen can cause real tensions within the marriage.Often they will 'see the light' just to make their spouse happy but many people aren't going to fake it regardless.
For some people this is a really big deal,for others not so much.Lds are like every other group in the sense that some really buy into the whole package while others are a bit relaxed about things.I like the church but I could also be happily married to an atheist as long as she let me do my thing ,I don't get real hung up on what other people believe,i'm kind of a live and let live guy.I've got too many marriage issues right now in this life to be concerned about my marital status in the afterlife.
I'm not sure if i'm helping,and I understand and don't blame you for feeling hurt...i'm just trying to try explain it from what I would see as his likely point of view.It is a pretty common one among mormons,at least the devout ones.
Actually none of his family members are Mormon. He is a convert, and the only one. The rest of his family is all Catholic. (My family is Catholic as well) So he basically decided to put himself in that position, (which was before we met) rather than someone who was raised in it. At this point, his bishop has told him he can't even visit the temple if he wanted to, let alone be married in it.
So, it is a very odd situation, for both of us, honestly...I guess we'll see what happens.
I do appreciate you sharing your insight with me. It's been very helpful.
Actually none of his family members are Mormon. He is a convert, and the only one. The rest of his family is all Catholic. (My family is Catholic as well) So he basically decided to put himself in that position, (which was before we met) rather than someone who was raised in it. At this point, his bishop has told him he can't even visit the temple if he wanted to, let alone be married in it.
Can you tell us why he converted from a less restrictive religion to a more restrictive one in the first place? If you don't have a major issue with the Catholic religion, and both of your families are Catholic, why don't you just switch back? No one there will tell you not to come into the church, or into the grandest of the cathedrals, and they'll marry you if you go to a prep course. Why deal with the drama?
Can you tell us why he converted from a less restrictive religion to a more restrictive one in the first place?
I really can't speak for him, because this happened before we met. I do know however, that he had been dealing with some personal issues, and was at a very low point in his life when the missionaries convinced him to check it out...He said he wanted to be a part of something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
If you don't have a major issue with the Catholic religion, and both of your families are Catholic, why don't you just switch back? No one there will tell you not to come into the church, or into the grandest of the cathedrals, and they'll marry you if you go to a prep course. Why deal with the drama?
Because I'm not a full-on practicing Catholic and I never have been. I'm not even Mormon, so there is no "switching" for me.
I really can't speak for him, because this happened before we met. I do know however, that he had been dealing with some personal issues, and was at a very low point in his life when the missionaries convinced him to check it out...He said he wanted to be a part of something.
That doesn't make for a convincing reason to switch.
This kind of reminds of a story of when I was in South America on vacation and buying a tourist t-shirt at a shop, and they guy was putting through my credit card and checking my photo ID, a DL from California. He then adds that he has friends in California, naming all these random places in LA's desert suburbs, and that he was going to go there to visit them.
Me: "Como conoces todas estas personas en California?" ("How do you know all these people in California?")
Cashier guy: "La Iglesia Mormon." ("The Mormon Church")
I guess they made this early 20-something guy in a dead-end job feel important, since his local Catholic church didn't have "travel options" for him. I thought "oh, brother."
Moderator cut: mod actions why is marriage and reproduction held as the pinnacle of human existence and a requirement for the highest level of celestial blessings for Mormons?
With that question asked, what does the after-life hold for someone (presumably a Mormon) who is in no rush to marry, doesn't like the selection that is then available, firmly decides against marriage and never wanted children, EVEN if they had married right after college to begin with?
Honesty is appreciated...and required.
Even a godless heathen like me can appreciate mormon perspective on family. Sure you can live a life just for yourself, party, see the world, yada, yada... but someday none of that will matter. Eventually it will all be over and you will die alone as an lonely old man or woman.
But, if you leave a family behind that you've nurtured, loved, taught, suffered with, shared all you know and then watched them do the same with their kids, you will have done something that transcends your own existence and will take your final journey into oblivion surrounded by people who will actually miss you and take something of yourself with them throughout their own lives.
For a hairless bipedal ape that is evolved to be social creature and make other little hairless bipedal apes to replace you, it is the most satisfying conclusion possible.
But leave the families to the mormons... the world it too overpopulated anyway and this the "Age of Me"!
Actually none of his family members are Mormon. He is a convert, and the only one. The rest of his family is all Catholic. (My family is Catholic as well) So he basically decided to put himself in that position, (which was before we met) rather than someone who was raised in it. At this point, his bishop has told him he can't even visit the temple if he wanted to, let alone be married in it.
So, it is a very odd situation, for both of us, honestly...I guess we'll see what happens.
I do appreciate you sharing your insight with me. It's been very helpful.
Hmm,well that is a bit unusual...he must be really devout.I don't know whats going on that he can't go to the temple but you would both have to be lds to be married in the temple.The temples aren't the same thing as the churches however.....the bishop can marry you in the church even if you have no interest in converting,although it would be 'in this life only' like other churches.I would assume that wouldn't be an issue for you.....perhaps it would be for him.It is difficult for many couples where one is very devoted to a church and the other isn't or is devoted to a different one.The way marriage is 'framed' in lds belief makes it even harder than most though many people do make it work. Good luck whatever happens
Can you tell us why he converted from a less restrictive religion to a more restrictive one in the first place? If you don't have a major issue with the Catholic religion, and both of your families are Catholic, why don't you just switch back? No one there will tell you not to come into the church, or into the grandest of the cathedrals, and they'll marry you if you go to a prep course. Why deal with the drama?
Anyone can come into any lds church,the temple isn't the same thing as the church.They could even get married in the lds church ,by the bishop,just not the temple.
I will admit to having never been a catholic but much of my family is,I have gone a number of times with family/friends,i'm not sure in what way the lds church is more restrictive than the catholic church.I'm not saying you are wrong but I would be interested in some examples.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
