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This is the bitter truth that I have with great difficulty realized today. I'm the only one among my high school buddies who follows south Indian traditions so closely among all my high school friends from India. Its shameful, and I kind of feel left out. I just cant work up the guts to change my mindset and move forward like they did. Trust me, I've tried, but my heart stops me from proceeding in such a direction. Why ?
Please avoid derogatory replies. I feel conflicted about myself as it is. I need to find a way past my contradictions.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 12-04-2014 at 09:08 PM..
Follow what your heart tells you not what your buddies tell you.
The problem is, my mind thinks in one way, my heart feels that way, and then makes a complete 180, hence the reason I feel conflicted. I'm confused, as my heart keeps oscillating from one side to another in terms of feelings.
Who can help me deal with this problem. Psychologists deal with the mind, but its not my mind that's the issue. My heart is the big culprit here.
Hmm...can you explain what you mean by liberalize? I understand your feelings of sadness of your culture frittering away here in the States. I've noticed though, that globalization is having that effect worldwide. Meaning, the middle class in India, and the rest of the world, is getting more and more globalized.
Hmm...can you explain what you mean by liberalize? I understand your feelings of sadness of your culture frittering away here in the States. I've noticed though, that globalization is having that effect worldwide. Meaning, the middle class in India, and the rest of the world, is getting more and more globalized.
Liberalize in the sense of things like not following arranged marriages (which was kind of like a hidden rule in India till a few years back), not observing religious beliefs as closely, and so on.
My mind wants to liberalize, but heart remains tied to conservative roots. Lot of personal conflicts because of that.
I don't see how it's an issue of being left out or left behind, if that's what you feel. They've decided to change how they want to structure living their life and it sounds like you're feeling pressure somehow from their decisions.
Is it possible to look at this from a Live and Let Live approach? Everyone should do what they feel is right for them. If they're genuine friends, they'll still treat you the same if you decide to honor traditional values. But at the same time, they should be given equal respect for pursuing alternative moral decisions.
I also side with following your heart over your mind for now. The mind can be clouded by a lot and you should follow the heart until you're able to clear your thoughts of any conflict in order to think about whether or not you want to try something new.
It might help to map your thoughts on paper before seeking someone to help you discuss your feelings further. Pro/cons, how your current ideals are beneficial or detrimental to you spiritually, how future changes may be beneficial or detrimental, etc.
This is your decision that should not be swayed by public opinion of your peers. However, your friends who have already started living differently can be a valuable source of perspective to you. Why not ask them if they have any regrets so far? Whether they feel good about their decisions and why they decided to wander from conservative traditions? They'll surely be able to give you something new to consider that could help you affirm your current wish to stick to the traditions, or vice versa.
One of the reasons why I came to the States in the first place is to escape Indian traditions like arranged marriages. Women are more than pieces of property to be bartered away to secure political and business alliances.
Location: Sitting on a bar stool. Guinness in hand.
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Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks
The problem is, my mind thinks in one way, my heart feels that way, and then makes a complete 180, hence the reason I feel conflicted. I'm confused, as my heart keeps oscillating from one side to another in terms of feelings.
Who canhelp me deal with this problem. Psychologists deal with the mind, but its not my mind that's the issue. My heart is the big culprit here.
I wouldn't pupu seeing a psychologist. Your emotions "heart" toward you dilemma a least can be discussed and work though a bit. Honestly if you are as desperate as you sound seeing a psycholgist may take your unease level down a notch or two and perhap give you room to "breathe".
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