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I don't come from a particularly religious family so my family doesn't say grace before meals. However, whenever I prepare Thanksgiving dinner, which I did this year, I say grace. My problem is that I can not seem to get through it without tears.
I only cry when I say the grace and not when I hear it from others. No matter how hard I try and I even practice alone beforehand to try to get my emotions in check but without success. The obvious answer would be to let someone else say it, but I want to be able to do it without tears. Does this happen to anyone else and have you been able to overcome the tears and if so, how?
Why would you be trying to get your emotions in check? Matter of fact, why do you try to check them continuously? And releasing them only once a year?
There is nothing wrong with emotions. There are no good or bad emotions. Everything is god, everything is of god, every emotion is connection with god in you. Your ego simply decides if it's "good" or "bad". Your prejudice. Your education. Whatever was imposed onto you and accepted.
Cry when you feel so. Laugh when you feel so. Be angry when anger comes.
It's all the same and only two sides of the same emotion.
There is no laughter without its shadow - tears. Joy casts its shadow - sadness. Love casts its shadow - hate. Compassion casts its shadow - anger. But they are all one. Only a duality.
Truly, you should be blessing every food you make and eat. Every drop of water you drink. Every moment you exist.
Be grateful and let that grace be YOU all the time. As then you are in god.
Only you could tell us why you cry when you pray. And only then could anyone say anything meaningful about controlling those feelings ... even assuming they SHOULD be controlled.
Every year, my husband and I (both religious), our two grown kids (raised LDS, but no longer practicing), my sister (raised LDS, but now agnostic), her husband (raised LDS, but now atheist) and their two grown kids (raised in a non-religious home) all have Thanksgiving dinner at my sister and brother-in-law's house. It's almost certainly the only day all year where there is even a mention of God in their home, and definitely the only time grace is said. My husband is always the one who offers it. It's my sister's idea, not ours, since it's in their home. Every year, as he ends the prayer, I look up to see tears in my sister's eyes.
We had a great Thanksgiving. Seven out of the eight people in attendance are dyed-in-the-wool, hard-core Democrats. I'm the only one who considers herself to be "independent" or "unaffiliated" but who typically votes Democrat. I told my sister a few days ago, that if I had to listen to two straight hours of political discussion at Thanksgiving dinner this year, I was going to finish my dinner in silence and then leave the room. We got through the meal without one word about the recent election or the sorry state of our country. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, and my family, at least, has so much to be thankful for. My heart breaks for those who have less, and I do what I can to help, but when you pray and really think about all of the ways in which your life is blessed, it's truly hard not to get emotional -- not only for those of us who believe in God, but for those who aren't quite sure, like my sister.
From day to day, I don't think about blessings and prayers and those less fortunate and everything I have to be grateful for. It's not that I don't ever think about it, it's just that I don't think of it often. It seems that only on Thanksgiving and only when I say grace, that the emotions overcome me. I want to be able to say a grace without all of the overwhelming emotion so that I can say exactly what I feel without tears. I just wonder if this only happens to me as I have never seen it in anyone else but like I said, we don't say grace often.
Prayer seems to be too emotional for me. When I think of all that I have been blessed with, I am overwhelmed. It's not like I have more blessings than anyone else, it's just that I am so grateful. I think a prayer should be sincere and not one of these past the teeth and over the gums deal just so we can eat. When I pray for the less fortunate, for health and safety and strength, the tears flow like a river. I just can't seem to be able to come up with the words to say a grace in front of people that won't send me into a tear stained face.
But I know that grace is said often among other people and tears don't play a part. I just wonder how they do it so I can get there. I think that grace can be said without sobbing so that my family knows that I am truly grateful for them and that I do think of others and that life is wonderful and I am just so happy and grateful and pray for it to last as long as it can and will. I just want to say it without my voice cracking and raise my head with a smile instead of flowing tears. I am happy, but when it comes to saying grace, I just fall apart.
Every year, my husband and I (both religious), our two grown kids (raised LDS, but no longer practicing), my sister (raised LDS, but now agnostic), her husband (raised LDS, but now atheist) and their two grown kids (raised in a non-religious home) all have Thanksgiving dinner at my sister and brother-in-law's house. It's almost certainly the only day all year where there is even a mention of God in their home, and definitely the only time grace is said. My husband is always the one who offers it. It's my sister's idea, not ours, since it's in their home. Every year, as he ends the prayer, I look up to see tears in my sister's eyes.
We had a great Thanksgiving. Seven out of the eight people in attendance are dyed-in-the-wool, hard-core Democrats. I'm the only one who considers herself to be "independent" or "unaffiliated" but who typically votes Democrat. I told my sister a few days ago, that if I had to listen to two straight hours of political discussion at Thanksgiving dinner this year, I was going to finish my dinner in silence and then leave the room. We got through the meal without one word about the recent election or the sorry state of our country. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, and my family, at least, has so much to be thankful for. My heart breaks for those who have less, and I do what I can to help, but when you pray and really think about all of the ways in which your life is blessed, it's truly hard not to get emotional -- not only for those of us who believe in God, but for those who aren't quite sure, like my sister.
I too really enjoy your posts, well crafted, informitive and just a pleasure to read.
I don't come from a particularly religious family so my family doesn't say grace before meals. However, whenever I prepare Thanksgiving dinner, which I did this year, I say grace. My problem is that I can not seem to get through it without tears.
I only cry when I say the grace and not when I hear it from others. No matter how hard I try and I even practice alone beforehand to try to get my emotions in check but without success. The obvious answer would be to let someone else say it, but I want to be able to do it without tears. Does this happen to anyone else and have you been able to overcome the tears and if so, how?
I have always seen tears as sincerity....ain't nothing wrong with sincerity.
From day to day, I don't think about blessings and prayers and those less fortunate and everything I have to be grateful for. It's not that I don't ever think about it, it's just that I don't think of it often.
That is because you are not in Presence. Neither am I, but, at least, I became aware of this and working on it.
You are in a dream world, Maya. This is why your life is filled with sorrow and sadness and only "special" events open your eyes for a moment, as a reminder, that Presence is "blessing". And then you connect with god. As every pure emotion, and tears are pure emotion, is connection with god.
So before you say - but I laugh and have moments of joy and such - when you have those moments, look deep into them and at the very background of them you will find what I mentioned above. They never left you.
It is a great art very hard to learn, to rid of them.
I don't come from a particularly religious family so my family doesn't say grace before meals. However, whenever I prepare Thanksgiving dinner, which I did this year, I say grace. My problem is that I can not seem to get through it without tears.
I only cry when I say the grace and not when I hear it from others. No matter how hard I try and I even practice alone beforehand to try to get my emotions in check but without success. The obvious answer would be to let someone else say it, but I want to be able to do it without tears. Does this happen to anyone else and have you been able to overcome the tears and if so, how?
It's perfectly okay to be choked up. I think I have a good understanding of why you are crying.
Believers typically think nothing of God's grace, because it is taken for granted. But someone who came from a spiritual background where this wasn't a given, it is this much more profound an effect.
See about this. Try saying a simple but repeatable prayer rather than a full speech. As in, not a "Lord we thank you for..." where you tend to dwell on stuff. Our family prayer is "Come Lord Jesus be our guest, and let these gifts to us be blessed." It's a ritualized table prayer, and it's quick enough to say that you can get through it.
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