Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree totally. It is an abuse of the parent child bond to put conditions on love. My children make their own decisions,and I support them and their partners without conditions. If my child loves someone, I embrace them unconditionally.
I am addressing the double standard on these boards :
The son wants to be accepted for who he is. But he is unwilling to accept his parents for who they are.
L8gr8t knows from our posting history that we are both survivors and that I support and recognize and applaud her healing.
That's good, I guess , but "We get that you are consumed with bitterness" is in no way a supportive statement, since it was used to dismiss her point. And, who is "we"? L8 has never given me the impression that she's consumed with bitterness (just the opposite, really), so are there others beside yourself who have made that judgment?
But that is what the son is saying.
He wants to be accepted for who he is
But he is unwilling to accept his parents for who they are. His mother asked for a hug and he refused.
People on this board are saying celebrate and approve of this lifestyle and beliefs, but they deem other beliefs are without value or merit.
Say this to yourself over and over until it sinks in.
There is no heterosexual lifestyle
There is no homosexual lifestyle
There are just lives.
How is he not accepting them? He invited them to be a part of one of the most important days of his life.
The people on these boards say everyone must accept his beliefs and celebrate them and accept him for who he is. The people on these boards however are totally unwilling to accept those who will not attend a particular wedding due to their beliefs. That is the double standard I am addressing.
The people on these boards say everyone must accept his beliefs and celebrate them and accept him for who he is. The people on these boards however are totally unwilling to accept those who will not attend a particular wedding due to their beliefs. That is the double standard I am addressing.
His parents chose their religion. They chose poorly.
He did not choose his sexuality. He did not choose his parents. See the difference?
It may look that way to you. Some people put "rules" and "laws" in a higher order than others do. I'm as law abiding as anyone but when a law conflicts with what I perceive to be a human being, the person wins. If I thought God was going to punish a gay person with death or torment or just that there was something defective about being gay and I found out my kid was gay, my kid wins. I choose changing my belief(Law) over changing my opinion of my child.
It just happened that one of my favorite people on the planet voted for #45. I choose to change my beliefs about people that voted for #45 over change my beliefs about my friend.
If the mother is afraid that the son is going to be punished by God for who he loves/marries, does she think that by not accepting the marriage, she's going to somehow save him from that? I assume not. So, what does she think she's accomplishing?
Btw, that question isn't directed at you, L8. It's directed at whomever agrees with her behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
The people on these boards say everyone must accept his beliefs and celebrate them. The people on these boards however are totally unwilling to accept those who will not attend a particular wedding due to their beliefs. That is the double standard I am addressing.
No, they aren't saying everyone must accept his beliefs and celebrate them. They're saying that a parent who chooses to indulge their fearful beliefs over and above loving and supporting their child is harming their child. How is that okay?
His parents chose their religion. They chose poorly.
He did not choose his sexuality. He did not choose his parents. See the difference?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo
If the mother is afraid that the son is going to be punished by God for who he loves/marries, does she think that by not accepting the marriage, she's going to somehow save him from that? I assume not. So, what does she think she's accomplishing?
No, they aren't saying everyone must accept and celebrate his beliefs and celebrate them. They're saying that a parent who chooses to indulge their fearful beliefs over and above loving and supporting their child is harming their child. How is that okay?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
