If Any Of Us Go To Heaven But Just Hate It Can We Commit Suicide? (soul, hell)
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Now before anybody gets riled up this is intended as humor and not as an insult to Christians.
Ok, picture this. Jimmy Swaggart has been forgiven for his many sins and he's been given a prime time spot on Heaven Television. The only problem is that there's just one channel so you can't switch it to a baseball game or a movie. This goes on night after night for all of eternity. Radio has the same policy. There's no racy lyrics and it's the greatest Christian hits of all time with such catchy songs as Onward Christian Soldiers and it's also eternal. A trip to the beach isn't a chance to see some hot chicks in a bikini, it's a parade of people dressed like they did in 1850 who have gathered for Bible study. As far as sex is concerned, well there isn't any.
Here's my question. If this situation isn't to my liking do I have the alternative of taking a shotgun to my spiritual soul and ending this nightmare?
I think you're right. I'm retired and have all day to think of weird questions to ask.
Yea, you need a hobby other than CD,however to answer your question,I don't think you could use a shotgun,to begin with your spirit is not a solid object,where as a shotgun is,so I would imagine that the projectile from the shotgun would do no damage to the spirit,like passing through thin air.......so I guess your just stuck listening to all that crazy music and watching that one crazy channel.......Personally, I'd turn the shotgun on the TV and the radio....
Now before anybody gets riled up this is intended as humor and not as an insult to Christians.
Ok, picture this. Jimmy Swaggart has been forgiven for his many sins and he's been given a prime time spot on Heaven Television. The only problem is that there's just one channel so you can't switch it to a baseball game or a movie. This goes on night after night for all of eternity. Radio has the same policy. There's no racy lyrics and it's the greatest Christian hits of all time with such catchy songs as Onward Christian Soldiers and it's also eternal. A trip to the beach isn't a chance to see some hot chicks in a bikini, it's a parade of people dressed like they did in 1850 who have gathered for Bible study. As far as sex is concerned, well there isn't any.
Here's my question. If this situation isn't to my liking do I have the alternative of taking a shotgun to my spiritual soul and ending this nightmare?
Here's my answer: Heaven is a metaphor for not having to worry about competing for friendship, like in 'They shoot horses, don't They?'
Now before anybody gets riled up this is intended as humor and not as an insult to Christians.
Ok, picture this. Jimmy Swaggart has been forgiven for his many sins and he's been given a prime time spot on Heaven Television. The only problem is that there's just one channel so you can't switch it to a baseball game or a movie. This goes on night after night for all of eternity. Radio has the same policy. There's no racy lyrics and it's the greatest Christian hits of all time with such catchy songs as Onward Christian Soldiers and it's also eternal. A trip to the beach isn't a chance to see some hot chicks in a bikini, it's a parade of people dressed like they did in 1850 who have gathered for Bible study. As far as sex is concerned, well there isn't any.
Here's my question. If this situation isn't to my liking do I have the alternative of taking a shotgun to my spiritual soul and ending this nightmare?
Rule # UNO -Do not equate the foolishness of the human mind with God's ways and means, he has all bases covered, even yours .
Now before anybody gets riled up this is intended as humor and not as an insult to Christians.
Ok, picture this. Jimmy Swaggart has been forgiven for his many sins and he's been given a prime time spot on Heaven Television. The only problem is that there's just one channel so you can't switch it to a baseball game or a movie. This goes on night after night for all of eternity. Radio has the same policy. There's no racy lyrics and it's the greatest Christian hits of all time with such catchy songs as Onward Christian Soldiers and it's also eternal. A trip to the beach isn't a chance to see some hot chicks in a bikini, it's a parade of people dressed like they did in 1850 who have gathered for Bible study. As far as sex is concerned, well there isn't any.
Here's my question. If this situation isn't to my liking do I have the alternative of taking a shotgun to my spiritual soul and ending this nightmare?
Montana, you just described “hell”. Heaven is a place where you can eat all the cheese you want and not have a doctor jumping all over you about your cholesterol. Where sex is like it was at 18, and all the beaches are topless. All this and you have the only cooler of beer on the beach.
If you get pulled into that christian hell you need to reboot the program and see if you can’t shift to a new level of dementia.
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Je...'s you must of checked me on the hip forum.
. Heaven is a place where you can eat all the cheese you want and not have a doctor jumping all over you about your cholesterol
, and all the beaches are topless
. 
