Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Most people face downsizing, due to health reasons, financial reasons, house too big...how do people do this if they have lived there for 40 years or more? Any suggestions to help others facing this situation?
Most people face downsizing, due to health reasons, financial reasons, house too big...how do people do this if they have lived there for 40 years or more? Any suggestions to help others facing this situation?
Unless people actually wish to leave they whatever is necessary to stay. The move will be traumatic; life afterwards depressing.
Think of the move out of the house as heave and the next one to the cubby as ho. Once you're heaved ho is sure to follow.
We have moved out for employment reasons. We can go back as we didn't sell. We don't want to go back as we want a larger place land wise so we can have fruit and a place for a kitchen garden. After being out for nearly a year it is not missed.
Your house isn't perfect so make a list of things you would wish for in another home. You might like a condo or just a smaller, more manageable house. Maybe not such a big yard, maybe more light coming in, a more comfortable bedroom, better bathroom, all one one floor, beautiful sun porch. What are your dreams?
With your list, find a place you really love and then you will have something to look forward to. Location--did you always want to live in the mountains or by the sea? Do you want to remain in the same town?
Your house isn't making you happy anymore. It's still a good house but times have changed and it doesn't suit your needs now. The hardest part is getting rid of furniture and other belongings and that can take years. You can store some of them for a while and whittle away at it at your own pace. It's not easy but once it's over you'll feel better (after a while) and you will be able to go on with your new life.
I feel that there is a good chance one will have to move anyway if we live long enough. Finally, keeping the house becomes too difficult, and it is really hard if the family has moved away. That is what prompted us after 26 years to move. We didn't want to be there anymore. Our family had moved away, and the place was too much work. We wanted a smaller place, and we wanted to know that in an emergency, our family could help out without taking a long plane trip.
Those factors helped to push us out. We do not regret it.
Honestly, you bring your furniture and the important stuff with you in a move, and it becomes your home quite rapidly.
My motherinlaw lived in the same town for 80 years and the same house for 35. Dad died and she waited one year to see if she wanted to stay and then called us and said "I am ready to move". She did not live in a big house but was 600 miles away from her only child.
She moved from NY to IN in less than 60 days because the house sold in 7 days. She sold her car, furniture and misc. She gave away 27 bags of yarn to her stitching buddies and cleaned out the house.
We were and are amazed at her work and commitment. We got the moving truck and away she went.
The hardest of course were leaving old friends and getting the new doctor, hairdresser, etc.
She has been here a year and has new friends, a new doctor, and is well settled. It did take the full year for her to really feel at home and comfortable. We see her sometimes 3X a week and are able to do stuff for her. She loves being a renter and calling maintenance when something happens to the apartment.
We on the other hand will start soon to clean out more of our place and take the next 10 years to prepare to move to a much smaller home.
Your house isn't perfect so make a list of things you would wish for in another home. You might like a condo or just a smaller, more manageable house. Maybe not such a big yard, maybe more light coming in, a more comfortable bedroom, better bathroom, all one one floor, beautiful sun porch. What are your dreams?
With your list, find a place you really love and then you will have something to look forward to. Location--did you always want to live in the mountains or by the sea? Do you want to remain in the same town?
Your house isn't making you happy anymore. It's still a good house but times have changed and it doesn't suit your needs now. The hardest part is getting rid of furniture and other belongings and that can take years. You can store some of them for a while and whittle away at it at your own pace. It's not easy but once it's over you'll feel better (after a while) and you will be able to go on with your new life.
I echo this. Although I lived in the last house only 15 yrs, it was the longest I've lived anywhere. But the house, and the events while living there, were not so happy and so, although it was a "preferred area," I sold and left and never looked back. It's surprising what we can leave comfortably behind us, no matter how nice, when we know in our gut that it's time to move on.
The hardest of course were leaving old friends and getting the new doctor, hairdresser, etc.
This.
I think a big part of it is how one regards attachments. I focus on attachments to people and pets, and eschew attachments to things and places. If there was a fire in my home, I would probably grab my spouse, grab our cats, and grab one cheap ceramic figurine off of the shelf on the way out, something my mother always considered her daily memory of me, before she passed away, and let the rest burn. Home is where those whom I love are - period.
We were in our last home for 11 years which is a real record for both of us. No problem leaving it, the city, the state and the overall region. Both of us were military brats, I served for eight years and my wife's first husband was military so picking-up and moving was a way of life for us. There was, however, a home from the past for each of us that we considered our "family" home. Even so, we also felt detached from them. I can see where it would be a real tug for some.
Ironically, our realtor was unsure about whether she should even show us the home we ultimately bought. She thought it might be too rural for us. We saw it at about 11:00 a.m., talked about it over lunch then made an offer. It was accepted an hour later, escrow closed in 30 days and here we are. Must been meant to be. Wish it was that simple for all.
We love our house. Have lived here for 37 years.. Neighbors are wonderful at least the elderly ones. People
talk to you when you walk down the street.
When our older neighbors pass, we may then decide to move.
But will surely have to when we can't walk upstairs to the bedrooms.
That will be a sad day. The day to sell and move WILL arrive.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
