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Fate has placed me at an abrupt cross roads and I don't know which way to go.
Rambler, I am just going to address this part of your situation because you have been given good advice on your what to do about your landlord. Going to housing advocates and your city/state housing authority is a step in the right direction.
Deciding where to go where you will be safe in the future is the next step. You are correct in saying you do not want to depend upon someone who is "better than nothing." That's no reason to hook up with anyone.
This forum is brimming with ideas of various places to live. Although most are not directed towards disabled people, many mention cities, towns, suburbs etc that had good medical facilities and services for people who need them, specifically the elderly.
Years ago, when I realized the city in which I lived did not provide what I needed and was becoming increasingly expensive I looked at City Data and other relocation forums. I checked on the medical facilities that did research in my rare illness. It took a long time to determine which was the best place for me.
Some of the most appealing places were not the best for my circumstances. The one I have finally chosen actually has someone living there I vaguely knew. I got in touch via another long distance friend by email. She has been wonderful in not only giving me a lot of helpful information about her city but has agreed to give me a hand in finding an apartment when I relocate. This is great since I do not drive. So thanks to a little serendipity, I found a bit of help but had I to do it on my own, I could because I have done it before. So if she were to fail me, I know exactly what to do.
Anyway, first think of your needs. The COL is the most important. Maybe the weather. Is public transportation important? What are you looking for you do not have now? What are the medical facilities like? Make a list, take a breath, and just go slowly. Take things little by little. And again, I would urge you to find an Internet support group relating to your illness if there is none in your town. They may be able to help you in the matter of relocation as well.
Bullie, if any of this could pertain to you as well, I hope it helps.
"one is on her own" hit me like a ton of bricks. I have an incredible circle of friends. They are mostly online, 'cause I can't get out, and never make events, 'cause the disease makes me the most unreliable human on the earth. And they're still there for me!
And yet................ I am very alone. No one knows my disease/disorders the way I do, unless someone else is dealing with a hell with which they can relate.
Pile moving alone onto that hell, and being alone.... I mean, ALONE, and yes, "meticulous research" is a life line! And those who aren't able to sit at a computer for a few minutes, whether every day, or every now and then, are screwed, if they don't have someone to help them.
I've become so sick, as I sit here, trying to type and focus, and retain anything I've read..... because there is no one else. My friends have their own lives, and this isn't their problem.
It's a very lonely thing... being disabled, alone, and thinking of where to retire. I wonder how to combat that.......
Bullie and Colorado,
Those with wealth are able to move away alone with confidence more easily than those without. If the former fail to find family, friends and a supportive community in old age, they can at least hire help. The latter will likely have problems without a support system. Even just 5 years ago I didn't put so much stock in aging around someone, anyone, who is likely to be there for me in my latter years. Loneliness is bad enough as it is, but add a disability, lack of big bucks, the prospect of not being able to drive someday, and we have a potentially serious issue. Nearly every city has some kind of support system for seniors. Wherever you move, check for good medical care and senior transportation first, followed by what's "local" and easy to get to - shopping, etc.
I had an elderly friend who was fortunate enough to be able to hire a "nanny" for herself in her latter years, 18/7. How many of us can do that. In her final days this wonderful young woman (LPN) drove her to all her appts and made her meals and cleaned her house. I don't know what she paid, but even at $15/hour that's pricey (much better $ deal than SNF though).
Despite those who claim "most" aging boomers are really well off, I question how eldercare is really going to work for us, and the affordability factor. I know those on here who have saved millions will be fine (no need to rub it in, lol). This country is in for a real challenge when boomers hit the age of 80.
Bullie, if any of this could pertain to you as well, I hope it helps.
I cannot URGE any of you enough, to follow Minervah's advice, about finding a support group, whether online, or in real life, to offer you what you need, in any given moment. My support groups, online, have been immeasurable in saving my life, literally, at times.
SUPPORT is what this thread is about, and it shouldn't be the end point.... as Minervah pointed out, it should be the starting point. And it can lead to a wondrous life, *I HAVE HOPE*, for even those of us with little funds and debilitating disorders.
Rambler, as has been said already---go to your housing advocate, whoever set you up with section 8 in the first place. Your lease is not with your LL in section 8, I believe it is between the LL and Housing. They have the set of rules and they enforce them, they will know what your rights are. I would get their phone number and call them right away.
And I would not stay where you are with a LL like that. You need to find a secure place where you can settle in and not have to worry about being treated like that. Maybe housing will help you in your search or you can always try Craigs List for apartments. You can put your own ad on CL, explaining that you are an older, disabled person who is quiet, respectful, takes care of property as if it is your own, and you are in need of a one bedroom apartment.
I think the Housing place will help you to stay where you are until you can find a new place. I go along with the people here who say you need to move to where that great hospital is and where there are more amenities. It may seem horrible but it could be better than you think. There will be more chances to get help and companionship.
Well, I may not have died but a significant part of my brain did. My disability is mostly invisable as well, although people who work with brain injuries or have a relative with a BI will often tell me that they suspected something like that when I reveal what my disability is to them. My long term memory is pretty much intact, but my short term memory is worthless and that leads to all sorts of other problems like impaired executive function, inability to stay on top of paperwork and bills - the list is endless.
I get so annoyed when people around my age say stuff like, "Oh, I forget names all the time, myself," or "Yeah, I get 'senior moments', too." Grrrrr! A "senior moment" does not equal a brain injury any more than being briefly absent minded equals Alzheimers!
I was injured at work, along with others, by chemicals used by others in our wing of the building. We were computer and AV types and had no idea what we were smelling or what was happening to us. When I left work, I could not converse with my staff because I couldn't remember what they had said to me long enough to reply to them. My short term memory recovered a bit over the years, supplements helped, but never returned to what it was before the injury. So I sympathize with you. Do you also have lots of notes everywhere to remind you of things? Timers help too.
Are you perhaps aware of Albert Donnay's research institute and work? Google him. I think he focuses mainly on CO injuries and their aftermath. Do you also have chemical intolerances? I think commonly they occur after CO injuries.
The problem I find is that while I would like to live in a city with all the city services which could make old age easier, cities are full of chemicals and air pollution, vehicle fumes, fabric softener fumes, etc. All I can think of is to move to the edge of a city on water, big lake, ocean, etc. which doesn't have major industries. Not many choices that fit that bill.
I cannot URGE any of you enough, to follow Minervah's advice, about finding a support group, whether online, or in real life, to offer you what you need, in any given moment. My support groups, online, have been immeasurable in saving my life, literally, at times.
SUPPORT is what this thread is about, and it shouldn't be the end point.... as Minervah pointed out, it should be the starting point. And it can lead to a wondrous life, *I HAVE HOPE*, for even those of us with little funds and debilitating disorders.
Disabled, not unable.
bullie~
I agree. Online support groups have been a lifesaver for me. The kind of disability I have is very isolating and I don't know how I would have made it this long without the Internet. It came along just in time.
Despite those who claim "most" aging boomers are really well off, I question how eldercare is really going to work for us, and the affordability factor. I know those on here who have saved millions will be fine (no need to rub it in, lol). This country is in for a real challenge when boomers hit the age of 80.
The thought of what life will be like 20 years from now when I hit 80 (if I haven't been eaten by a mountain lion first) does not exactly fill me with joy. I suspect that we are ALL (young and old) are going to be in for increasingly difficult times. Peak oil and climate change are going to begin to impact the world - possibly in a major way - by then. If the boomer generation is lucky, the environmental horrors wrought by mankind will be visited on our children's and grandchildren's generation instead of ours. A grim thought either way, though.
I don't know if I should be concerned about preparing for a hypothetical life at age 80 or not. I already tried to prepare for the type of retirement that everyone else on this forum except us seems to be having. *sniff* So much for THOSE plans.
To clarify a little to everyone about the section 8 Housing/slumlord/eviction thing:
Slumlord has seperate agreements with both me and the local housing authority. For example, the HA couldn't care less if I water the lawn or not unless the property is owned by them. And a LL with section 8 tenants can set policies of his own within reason.
The local HA is run by a director who feels us low rent types need to be made to toe the line and start living up to society's expectations of us. A person won't get much support from the staff there. They will explain what the laws under HUD are - to an extent. They also threatened to take my voucher away if I get evicted. Lovely people.
My nightmare with slumlord actually had its origin in a high water bill a year ago last August. Slumlord would have me believe that he spent the entire winter brooding over this and when he came by this property this May (I think), he noticed that I had flowers out and had sprinkled the yard enough to get the weeds to green up a little - the yard here is just weeds. Slumlord duely noted this transgression and went back to his gated community for millionaires in Resort Town and began to generate the onslaught of utility bills stuffed in my screen door, copies of his book-keeping filled with accounting errors and extortion demands that has been going on all summer.
I have been the sole object of slumlord's affection. If he wants help with his book-keeping (and he needs it), the tenant next door to me would be in a much better position to perform slumlord that favor. My neighbor doesn't have a brain injury; he remembers stuff; he has a college degree, etc., etc.
There are four apartments and one water meter. There's no way of estimating exactly how much water is used by any given tenant. The little kids in 106 could have been playing with the garden hose and leave the water running all night; the guy in 104 could have had too much to drink and decided to sober himself up with a cold shower. Instead, he turns on the shower, but doesn't get in becauses he passes out on the floor. The shower runs for 12 hours before he comes to. The possibilities are endless.
And neither slumlord nor I had to bother thinking up ANY of them. The HA told me that all slumlord needed to do last summer was raise the rent on these dumps from $500/mo to the current fair market of $528/mo since the water bill is included in the rent. Give the tenants and the HA 30 days notice of the change and presto! Slumlord has the cash to cover the summer water bill with money to spare and we all go on with our lives.
The kids in 106 get to run under the sprinkler to cool off in July, I get to water my xeriscape flowers I've spent so much effort on, the guy in 104 can sober up and start hitting AA meetings, and slumlord can strut his stuff back in Resort Town and buy another round for his friends at the country club with the extra money he now has.
Why didn't slumlord solve the problem in this simple way? Why send me bills demanding odd sums of money and flip me out so much that I went two nights without sleep, trying to understand why I was the one responsible for paying some random amount of money now OR ELSE?
I am so ticked off with slumlord for putting me through all this cr#p and all the cr#p that I'll have to go thru in the weeks and possibly months to come for NOTHING. Everybody around here thinks it was just because he wants to get rid of me and I'm sure that he does. I want to get rid of him, myself. But guess what? I'm the only person here with a disability. There are two tenants who are WASP males and slumlord never says so much as boo to either one. He does like to give the mixed Navajo family on the end some grief from time to time, but it's only me that he has subjected to so much harassment and now this whole eviction thing.
I called HUD and filed a discrimination complaint against slumlord under the Fair Housing Act. I passed the first hurdle. HUD agreed to accept my complaint for investigation. They'll pass it on to Colorado Civil Liberties and then they'll have to investigate it. This procedure won't prevent me from being evicted, but at the very least, slumlord is going to have to do a little fast talking to the authorities. And if this was a Hallmark channel program, I'd win and get a judgement for a very nice sum of money to put toward my old age. I don't think I'll be that lucky. Then again, SOMEONE has to win the lottery, right?
Last edited by Colorado Rambler; 08-16-2013 at 01:34 AM..
There used to be an active forum called Retiring On A Literal Shoestring. There might be posts there that could interest some here. There were many ideas about living on little income. I tried to find the forum but couldn't. It may be time to bring it back
There used to be an active forum called Retiring On A Literal Shoestring. There might be posts there that could interest some here. There were many ideas about living on little income. I tried to find the forum but couldn't. It may be time to bring it back
That thread, and those on it, might benefit from THIS one, as well.............. Ya never know who is disabled, on that thread/support group. Sharing this one would be just as big a gift, Imma thinkin'.....
bullie~
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Everybody around here thinks it was just because he wants to get rid of me and I'm sure that he does. I want to get rid of him, myself. But guess what? I'm the only person here with a disability. There are two tenants who are WASP males and slumlord never says so much as boo to either one. He does like to give the mixed Navajo family on the end some grief from time to time, but it's only me that he has subjected to so much harassment and now this whole eviction thing.
Retiring on a literal shoestring forum
