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Both NeG and Curmudgeon bring up very valid and painful truths. I too have a handicap placard, with new handicapped plates on the way. There are days when I will not take the allotted space for the handicapped, because I'm able to wobble with my cane or wheelie walker, and don't need, nor want to use the space. Those days are slowly dwindling.
The invisible diseases/disorders are so misunderstood, and certainly have been the brunt of ignorance and as*hats, who judge without knowing a thing about the person. Having a disease that doesn't have a big, gaping wound, or one that took a limb, or your sight, puts a bulls-eye on those whose diseases aren't visible. I wear a bracelet that will inform anyone what my diseases are, and offer them a place to start, should I end up losing consciousness. But it does no good when evil people jump to conclusions that are cruel and biting.
I've become stronger in not giving a chit when I'm given a look, or people don't understand, and don't ask. That's on them. I'm not here to teach people compassion, understanding or kindness. I can be here to offer it, even when it's not going to be returned. Smiling back at the face that is scowling at you is very empowering.
Ya can't teach stupid. And we know there's an abundance of it that just needs to be ignored.
bullie~
Bullie, I know what you mean about "looking ill." There is a wonderful lady who came up with a website called "You don't look sick" or something like that. It is hilarious. She describes how indeed some meds make people look round and rosy and the picture of health belying their illness. I was on one of these med periodically for a long time.
If I can find the website again I will post it.
Weather is a big consideration in deciding to move. The city I want to move to isn't all that great for my disability but it's better than where I am at. I will just have take extra care. All things considered, the move will be to a better place than where I am at now. You just have to take in the many factors when considering a relocation. Health is certainly one of them.
Okay, the website I was specifically trying to find doesn't seem to be there but here is a good one recommending a book about the subject. There are lots of blogs and journals if you Google "You Don't Look Sick."
They will make you laugh and cry at the same time.
Bullie, I know what you mean about "looking ill." There is a wonderful lady who came up with a website called "You don't look sick" or something like that. It is hilarious. She describes how indeed some meds make people look round and rosy and the picture of health belying their illness. I was on one of these med periodically for a long time.
If I can find the website again I will post it.
Weather is a big consideration in deciding to move. The city I want to move to isn't all that great for my disability but it's better than where I am at. I will just have take extra care. All things considered, the move will be to a better place than where I am at now. You just have to take in the many factors when considering a relocation. Health is certainly one of them.
Weather is a biggie! We moved from the left coast to a place with four distinct seasons but none of them particularly harsh. It was done purposely and knowingly. So far, so good, but I can see where it might possibly be a problem to some.
The good news for our cohort is, as retirees, we usually don't have to go out unless we want to.
Okay, the website I was specifically trying to find doesn't seem to be there but here is a good one recommending a book about the subject. There are lots of blogs and journals if you Google "You Don't Look Sick."
They will make you laugh and cry at the same time.
Thank you for that link, Minervah! I wish those who aren't disabled would read it as well, and gain some understanding about what those of us with "invisible disabilities" go through.
Weather is a biggie! We moved from the left coast to a place with four distinct seasons but none of them particularly harsh. It was done purposely and knowingly. So far, so good, but I can see where it might possibly be a problem to some.
The good news for our cohort is, as retirees, we usually don't have to go out unless we want to.
The Ozarks are supposed to be breathtaking! Unfortunately, it's out of my price range. Checking out the mountains of NC now..... good air quality, Winters are milder than anything I've experienced where I am now, and there is some small towns and cities that may offer what I need.
The Ozarks are supposed to be breathtaking! Unfortunately, it's out of my price range. Checking out the mountains of NC now..... good air quality, Winters are milder than anything I've experienced where I am now, and there is some small towns and cities that may offer what I need.
Ugh.... this is so much work! lol
bullie~
Trust me. The Ozarks ARE breathtaking and the prices are lower than in NC. At real issue is how rural they are in most of the region. But you might. want to check out Springfield (MO, not IL). It might have all you're looking for.
Besides, then we'd be almost (60 miles away) neighbors.
Trust me. The Ozarks ARE breathtaking and the prices are lower than in NC. At real issue is how rural they are in most of the region. But you might. want to check out Springfield (MO, not IL). It might have all you're looking for.
Besides, then we'd be almost (60 miles away) neighbors.
When I first joined, as perused the Retirement Forums, I checked out RE in the Ozarks, and was shocked at how expensive the ones were, that were close to all I need. I was looking for walkability... meaning having all essential needs in town.
Lemme go do another search! Oh to live in beauty.... after a lifetime of cement and no stars!
When I first joined, as perused the Retirement Forums, I checked out RE in the Ozarks, and was shocked at how expensive the ones were, that were close to all I need. I was looking for walkability... meaning having all essential needs in town.
Lemme go do another search! Oh to live in beauty.... after a lifetime of cement and no stars!
bullie~
We have beautiful, clear skies, clean air, lots of water (we live on the shore of a large lake), no air or light pollution and gorgeous vistas. However, while our little community is very walkable, it's also somewhat isolated and there's nothing to walk to. That's why I recommended Springfield which is close and of a handy size (150K). Nixa and Ozark might be worth looking into as well along with Bolivar and other nearby towns.
I'm keeping in mind SO many things, that we, the disabled, must think SO FAR ahead.......
*Is the state, one that cares for it's disabled and elderly?
*What are the property taxes, if someone is going to buy property?
*How is that area growing, and are we going to walk into a seemingly safe tax community, only to be hit by enormous hikes, once that area starts to grow?
*Is the elderly, disabled community strong.... not only in the town, but the state?
*Think LONG term.... are you thinking of moving into an area that's already experiencing huge problems... ie: water issues... (huge, by the way), enormous debt issues.... (something you may be burdened with, when you have no finances to do so), and the ability to MAKE.NEW.FRIENDS.
Gosh, how we extricate that from our choices.... thinking, "we're disabled, for gawdssake..... we're about to retire..... what sort of bonds can we forge now?*
BUNK!!!!!!
I say find active communities.... ones where not only the 55+ *damnit, how I hate that number.. it's a gawddamn SPEED LIMIT, not an end of FUN!!!* are available to us!!!
I'm looking for (and I rephrased my original typing from "we" to "I"), LIFE. Even as I am losing more and more of who I was, who I AM, and who I wanted to be, I STILL want to be a part of LIFE.
We're so different. Every single poster. Every single as*hat. (and those who have been following this and other threads, know of what I type). Every single personality. Every single circumstance.
You see? Not ONE of us is the same, and putting the absurd posts aside, we ARE the same.
All our fears, our needs, our constraints, our prejudices, our WANTS......... GAWD!!! OUR WANTS!!!!
Sometimes... that's the hardest thing to let go of, and accept, are something we have to address.
We're forced to accept our disabilities, DAILY, whether by our own illness, or some outer force. The other stuff....... The other parts, that keep us wanting, desiring, wondering why... Why aren't we getting what we NEED, let alone what we want? Those "parts" need to be embraced, even if only briefly, til we figure out what we need. If you're willing to be strong enough to keep forging on with that thought, GOOD FOR YOU.... growth comes from seeking that which is uncomfortable. <3
The more we dig for information, the stronger our voice becomes, when voicing our needs. The harder we look for what's available to us, the more we realize we're not alone. *not really... it just seems that way*......
*dangit.... I had a pop culture phrase to attach to this VERY instance, but one of my disorders didn't hold on to it, long enough, to be able to make you smirk*
*dangit* stoopid "fog brain"..........
Meh.
So anyhoo............ take what I've said above, and relate, or not. *Talking to the disabled, here... just so we're clear* Now what do we do with all of that?
I personally would like to read about your struggles, your feelings of being lost, your acceptance, and/or your success/"failure" with what you've been dealt. Where are you going? What are your thoughts? What do you want to know?
Bring it, people. If you have a disability, and are forced to look at retiring ALONE.... please, I urge you to post your experiences and questions. I ask you to post your situations, your joyful experiences, your anger.... *if that's what you have to give*, in the hopes that we who understand, who GET IT, can do what we're able.........
From all the personal emails I've been receiving, it seems that a good amount of you are pretty fired up about wanting to be heard, acknowledged, and RESPECTED.....
And there is NO shame in wanting to be honored. Those who suffer, sometimes silently and alone, THIS is your thread, this is your thread. You are not alone.
Bullie, this condo is not all on one floor, so it's probably not for you.... but just an idea of what $120K (which you can probably get it for) will buy in Branson, Missouri. Love the view!
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