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Five years ago I couldn't have imagined feeling as good about life as I do today. I wasn't happy about retirement and wanted to keep working. I've found a way to keep my hand in the game with minimal effort and maximum enjoyment, leading an adult ed class or two and continuing freelance gigs that are only somewhat deadline oriented. My leisure time is all the nicer. Now that the end of the DIY renovations on our house is in sight, I find myself wondering about the next five years. It seems like an increment of time in which anything at all can happen, and only the powers that be know what's coming.
I don't know why (it's not part of my religious background) but I've always had the sense that new people coming into the world choose their parents and circumstances (for better or worse—like, they know what they are getting into this time around). This may be Buddhist karma theory, but I am not Buddhist. It's just a spiritual feeling. That a certain "imprint" exists at birth.
I always thought babies were babies, just babies (even when I had my own), but gazing into the steady gazes (at me) of my newborn (now 6 mos. old) grandtwins, I feel like they "know it all" and they are wise, and they lose that special consciousness and innate knowledge as they age and have to go through mortal life. Come to think of it, maybe the Adam and Eve story is a metaphor for this, losing the perfection at birth and then having to "suffer" (or at least bumble through) the deal of life.
Just idle thoughts here.
Do you think that say 5 years ago, although you didn't know what could possibly be your situation 5 years later, that some kind of power (even your own deepest consciousness) "knew" it?
Intuition may be the word. I have had protective intuitions that I followed. A friend had an intuition, when she was apparently quite healthy, that she would not live to see her first grandchild turn 2. And so it happened.
I know I'm getting off track here, so back to the OP: what could you have not imagined happening to or for you 5 years ago?
OMGosh, NEG - what a weighty post! Very inspiring, beautifully written! Best, Jane
Some of us retirees, looking back over a long life, tend to think that our lives just kept going along and nothing really "big" or unique happened and/or that there are no more surprises in life.
Five years ago I never thought I'd be living in-town in a two-story house on a beautiful neighborhood near a well-known college. I thought I was stuck in boring suburbia till I died.
This morning, whipping up green beans and peaches and pouring them into baby food jars, I had a good laugh. Who knew I, who slaved over all that and swore I'd never ever do it again, would be doing it again (voluntarily and liking it) 35 years later?
A friend my age who's been married and divorced twice swore she'd never ever date again is...dating again.
Another friend, a runner, thought she'd be running till she's 90 and would never have believed 5 years ago that would have to come to an end due to arthritis.
Life throws us pleasant surprises, weird surprises, and curve balls.
If you were to roll back 5 years, is there anything you now have, or are now doing now, that you never could have imagined back then?
What a good topic. This is actually somewhat terrifying to contemplate.
Five years ago, I was bribing my youngest son to finish high school instead of dropping out. Priggish me - handing over cold cash for his tiny apartment every 30 days, in exchange for proof that he was a-progressin' to graduate. Going out into the world trying to make a living on his own with only a H.S. degree and no interest in trades -- he discovered that his Mom was not quite as clueless as he had thought she was. Being knocked about and having to really, really hustle to make a living has turned him into quite a pleasant human being. Five years ago he was not a pleasant human being, and I was the queen b*tch from H*ll.
Five years ago, I was on the edge of my seat every day, checking news feeds in the middle of the night at least twice. My older son, a Marine stationed overseas. He has since gotten out honorably, promptly left for the West Coast, found a not-all-that job which left him nights and weekends to create sculpture, and to find a tribe with whom to train for marathons. He enrolled in an apprenticeship program for skilled trades.
Five years ago, I did not know that the one would stay on the East Coast and that the other would leave promptly for the West Coast. What're ya gonna do? Provides fuel for my fancy to get a Road Trek, rent out the prospective house (haven't bought it, but I'll be darned if I ditch all these books I've studied from all these years! - not to mention older son's sculptures).
Five years ago, I did not have real engineering chops. Now I do. I was focused on getting the chops. Now, when I think about how long I want to use 'em, I'm thinking "Meh".
Five years ago, I had not yet had the experience of being "right-sized" from a DC Metro company, and being at my new desk in a better job in eight weeks. When I first came to the area towing a U-Haul, it took eight weeks to find a better job than the one I'd left. It's comforting to think "eight weeks" is a potential hat trick.
Five years ago, I was still sweating bullets to make sure the kids had what they needed to get a start in life, financially. They have assured me that they do.
Five years ago, I was striving ferociously into the wee hours, and therefore not as content as I am now. The driver for greater contentment: I am out from under, the fat lady has sung, youngest kid is more or less launched, I've survived, and I've still got F-U money, lol!
5 years ago, I was in a fulfilling marriage, that I thought would be lifelong. My then-wife and I came to a sudden disagreement over a matter that could admit no compromise, and so we divorced.
5 years ago, my mother - my last living blood-relative in America - was healthy and independent. Then she succumbed to pancreatic cancer.
5 years ago, my career was ascendent, but my finances were ravaged by the stock market collapse of 2007-2009. Today my career is stalled and is heading towards early-retirement, whereas my finances have recovered.
5 years ago I was struggling with initial onset of creeping-obesity. Today I run regularly, at least keeping my health under control.
Over the past 5 years, I have become leaner and much wealthier, but also entirely alone.
(*ahem*) - Y'know, Ohio, the assurance that comes from having a comfortable cushion behind you (and I'm not talking about middle-aged spread here) is mighty attractive. You don't need to say much. People just sense it.
If you were that way inclined, a couple of smiles here and there will have 'em swarming all over you!
Actually, looking at the date, I predict you have quite the entourage - if you were that way inclined.
(*ahem*) - Y'know, Ohio, the assurance that comes from having a comfortable cushion behind you (and I'm not talking about middle-aged spread here) is mighty attractive. You don't need to say much. People just sense it.
Maybe we should start a City Data dating site. Will all eligible (and willing) bachelors and bachelorettes please stand up? It would be interesting to see what's happened 5 years after this, lol.
Last edited by RiverBird; 07-23-2015 at 06:33 AM..
NEG, lol! Love ya, but no way! I am sooo content to be a scholar. Just can't grok interrupting the calm rhythms of peaceful contemplation to do the laundry. Or whatever.
This has been so good to read. I admire so many of you. You all have done so much.
I have not had a lot of major changes over the past five years. But #1 would be my final realization that things with my kids were not going to change. All the guilt, confusion, anger I have had over the years for being cut out of my daughter's life (no explanation was given.... guess she didn't think I needed one). And feeling so bad for son's many terrible choices and the hot water those decisions put him in. Used to think I was a one-woman rescue operation. I put a lot of time, emotion, effort into those things. Finally had the realization that I can't do a darned thing about their lives and/or how they feel about me. It was a major relief to get the monkey off my back.
And finally realizing that where I am right now is really a good place for me to be. So much freedom. Not a lot of money, but I think I've made "friends" with that situation. People have made suggestions, friends told me who was hiring, etc. But I am reconciled with the idea of not having a "wonderful" retirement (trips, great restaurants, entertaining, nice house, etc.) but have found the peace and joy of freedom, doing what I want to do when I want to do it, not answering to anyone. Being responsible is important to me which is why I've chosen to make all the payments I owe and be grateful that I can.
I wouldn't mind meeting a true soul-mate, but have no idea of how to find him. I've looked at the "puppies" on the dating sites, found one or two cute ones, but none I wanted to keep.
So newenglandgirl....... what about that dating forum? LOL
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