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And you can have all that without the sanction of the state.
No, you can't.
Then it comes down to personal choice, survivor benefits, taxes, inheritances, estates, access and a say in medical facilities, et al.
You asked for comments, thoughts and opinions. You've gotten mine. Now you want to argue them? That suggests a mindset and bias, not an honest curiosity and open discussion. G'Day!
Well, you can with the proper documents drawn up. The other person is correct.
Not quite. Some of them can be "cured" with documentation. Some can't. Survivor benefits are a/the biggie and as regards most retirement and Social Security benefits can't be passed to whomever you choose without the legal bond of marriage or in some cases, kinship.
Several of my male friends (60-70's and retired) were dating women getting close to retiring. Things were getting to the point they were discussing kicking the relationship up a notch when she retired. Maybe living together and/or marriage. It was time to have a "business" discussion of what each other were bringing to the table in debt/income. How to share/protect, etc..
In each case, she did not have near what she said she had. Both women were financially ill prepared to be able to retire on their own. Meaning they needed my friends help/income. In both cases my friends ended the relationship.
One gal did retire and move in with her daughter to help out. She and my friend later re-established contact and do spend sometime together (at his place or on vacation) but they both agree, that is the extent of it.
I did tease about a nurse with a purse bit in all seriousness, I would avoid someone that would be a financial burden on ones self. The not nuttso is still the #1 thing to avoid........LOL
...Things were getting to the point they were discussing kicking the relationship up a notch when she retired...It was time to have a "business" discussion of what each other were bringing to the table in debt/income. How to share/protect, etc..
In each case, she did not have near what she said she had. Both women were financially ill prepared to be able to retire on their own...LOL
Thanks for the reality check. I'm one of those who would tend to move forward without discussing stuff like this. I'll make sure, if the situation ever presents itself, to talk about these things before I get too emotionally involved to the point where I'd be hurt if we decided to not continue.
My pension plan rules (like *most* pension plans) allow me to designate someone other than a legal spouse to receive benefits, with the consent of the spouse and they allow me to not allow a legal spouse to receive any benefits, again with the consent of the legal spouse, which seems as it should be.
With respect to Social Security, who cares? the benefits that an ex spouse may get don't do anything to change that which I am entitled to (in other words, I am not harmed financially by anything an ex spouse gets from Social Security.)
Again, my original question - is it not true that a later in life marriage provides only downside financial risk for the partner with greater assets?
Again, this is separate from the emotional, non-financial benefits of marriage and has nothing to do with your great Aunt Tillie and Uncle Petie who were happy and shared everything forever, lol...not talking about individual stories, talking about the concept of risk.
Last edited by Carolina65; 11-19-2013 at 06:31 AM..
Reason: error
I'm getting divorced at age 55 and I don't think I'll remarry. I'm not shutting the door but I won't be seeking it out either. I'd love a boyfriend who has his own place nearby though That would be the best situation for me.
There are some reasons to consider marriage, even later in life. A friend of mine was happily dating a guy for several years who has a great job, then he had a heart attack and nearly died. He survived, but realized that his job provided all these great survivor benefits but with no survivor they are worthless. Maybe they could have done the same thing with legal contracts but why bother if the end result is the same thing anyway? It was a good choice for them. She wasn't dependent on him and provided care and support to him when he needed it. They both bring something to the table.
I'm getting divorced at age 55 and I don't think I'll remarry. I'm not shutting the door
but I won't be seeking it out either. I'd love a boyfriend who has his own place nearby though
That would be the best situation for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatherineHepburn
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other....
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
I think she may be on to something there.
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That would be the best situation for me. 
