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That's actually amazing, because the average life span of a person in a nursing home is 18 months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90
I think nursing homes were different back then. Now we have Assisted Living and dedicated Alzheimers facilities for people with dementia. People in today's nursing homes are more likely to be those with physical ailments.
It probably wasn't a nursing home, but for those with Alzheimer's or dementia with graduate levels of care. This aunt lived in Switzerland where my mom is from. Before she was in a facility, my other aunts would check in on her at home until it got to be too much. My mother use to fly back home yearly to visit her family and in the beginning my aunt could recognize people for a few moments and have a short conversation. With each visit it got worse until there was nothing. My aunt died two years ago at 90. All my knowledge comes from my mom, and more recently my brother who lives near my mom.
Last edited by smpliving; 04-09-2014 at 12:45 AM..
My dad has early onset Alzheimer's and he says repeatedly that he wants to die. He also spends hours crying in his room, and when he and my mom come to visit (several times a week) he will tell me how sad he is and how he wants to get a divorce and run away.
He doesn't have the ability to form a plan, remember it and carry it out though.
My mother has talked to my dad's psychiatrist about my dad's depression and they're trying to find the right dose of antidepressant for him.
It would be hard to just let him go, he tried to commit suicide ten years ago, before the dementia, and my mom was just going to let him die. I made her take him to a hospital to get his stomach pumped.
I'll 'grit my teeth' and refrain from commenting except to say this post may be one of the most pertinent for the OP.
My dad has early onset Alzheimer's and he says repeatedly that he wants to die. He also spends hours crying in his room, and when he and my mom come to visit (several times a week) he will tell me how sad he is and how he wants to get a divorce and run away.
He doesn't have the ability to form a plan, remember it and carry it out though.
My mother has talked to my dad's psychiatrist about my dad's depression and they're trying to find the right dose of antidepressant for him.
It would be hard to just let him go, he tried to commit suicide ten years ago, before the dementia, and my mom was just going to let him die. I made her take him to a hospital to get his stomach pumped.
I am so sorry.
I have a few questions and if you don't want to address them, I understand.
How old was your father when he was diagnosed and how old is he now?
If I understand this correctly, your father has been severely depressed for over ten years ?
If your father was living alone and had no wife, how do you think you would "manage" his situation?
Given that it is your father with early onset Alzheimer's have you considered genetic testing for yourself?
Have you decided (you MUST have thought about this) what you would like to happen if you found yourself in the early stages of dementia?
Again, to emphasize, please do not answer any of the questions that would cause you discomfort.
I am so sorry.
I have a few questions and if you don't want to address them, I understand.
How old was your father when he was diagnosed and how old is he now?
If I understand this correctly, your father has been severely depressed for over ten years ?
If your father was living alone and had no wife, how do you think you would "manage" his situation?
Given that it is your father with early onset Alzheimer's have you considered genetic testing for yourself?
Have you decided (you MUST have thought about this) what you would like to happen if you found yourself in the early stages of dementia?
Again, to emphasize, please do not answer any of the questions that would cause you discomfort.
Wiping away the tears...
~ Lenora
My dad is 64. He was diagnosed about 3 years ago.
He has had major depression and taken antidepressants for at least 40 years. He has tried to commit suicide a few times over the years, even when he was in his 20's. He is also a paranoid schizophrenic. My mother doesn't believe in getting help for psychiatric problems. She ignored the schizophrenia even when it got bad enough that my father couldn't work and thought that there were 200 police cars following him all the time and that the aliens had installed a loudspeaker in the bedroom to give him commands. That was when he made the last suicide attempt, when the schizophrenia was at its absolute worst. When we took him to the hospital (my mom insisted on taking him to a walk-in clinic rather than an ER, because she hoped they could just pump his stomach and send him home), she told them he had never had any problems and was just feeling sad because his mother had died that year. I told them everything that was really going on, and my dad was committed for about a month while they got his meds stabilized. My mom was really angry with me for "discussing family business."
If my mother was not around, my father would have to live in a facility. I have young daughters and on good days my dad will say things like, "oh, what beautiful granddaughters," to them but on bad days he will say, "oh, you're so sexy you should be on tv." He stayed with us for two weeks in December while my mom was in intensive care, and I had to have the kids sleep in my room, while I slept in a chair against the front door so he wouldn't wander in the night. My dad would not be able to live alone, he is far past that point.
I haven't thought a lot about what I would do if I were diagnosed with dementia. I have too many other issues I'm dealing with right now to think about it.
My dad is 64. He was diagnosed about 3 years ago. <snip>
Thank you for your reply. Your Dad's psychiatric history certainly explains a lot. Your post reminds me that my father's condition could be far worse. You are way too young to have to deal with his dementia on top of everything else and I am sorry for that.
Been through this. My father never depended on anyone or wanted to depend on anyone, never wanted to be a burden, always wanted to be his own man. Frankly I wish I'd given Dad his gun back. He would have been happier and would have felt like he'd kept his dignity to the end.
.... My mom was really angry with me for "discussing family business." ......
While your comment above was not the main point of your post, it did resonate with me because it reminded me of my own mother, who had an extreme sense of privacy and a much exaggerated sense of shame when it came to other people (especially but not limited to people outside of the immediate family) knowing her "business". In your mother's case, even medical personnel were supposed to remain outside the loop.
Cultural indoctrination with regard to family values is quite fascinating, and can be quite mystifying to those of us who do not share whatever the hang-up is.
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