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I tried talking my wife into moving when we retired as there is no more family here. But, she won't go and I think it is the social aspects ( friends at church). I do think we could make new friends especially in Northern AZ. We do need to downsize but that will have to come regardless. I am ready for a new adventure, she is not. :-(
It's not any easier for a couple who are new in a small town than for a single, especially if one member of the couple has lost their job & the other is still working. Cliques exist in couples' worlds, too, believe me.
It least you are starting from a point where people see you as normal. There is hope to find other couples that suit.
Single older people, those that aren't widowed, are viewed right off the bat with suspicion. Suspicion as something is wrong with them, they must be weird, and yes I have experienced the must be after my husband as well since I spent most of my time in the military and like nature and often have more to talk about with men though I like and enjoy women and their companionship.
It is very hard to make connections when your single, especially if you always have been or have been for a long time. People assume the worst of you.
I think it's easier to retire to a location where others have retired to and/or snowbird.
A community of mostly transplants are more open to friendships because most of them are all from somewhere else.
My parents made the retirement move from NYC to Florida to the typical condo on the beach.
I think they ended up with more friends and social activities in FL than they had in NYC between the condo group and the church group.
I have a thread in the Rural Living forum that essentially says the same thing. We moved to a rural parcel 10 or so miles from a mid sized college city. Having spent 35 years in AK, being aged hippies growing organic produce, we do not fit in with the neighbors. I have developed friendships with people an hour away in Kansas City in the Arts and Antique district where I rent space. We'll be fine here but this is likely not our last stop for the reasons contained in this thread.
That's one of the many reasons I prefer urban living -- no small-town cliques to have to deal with. You participate in the activities that you enjoy, and you meet like-minded people that way. It worked well for me, when I moved here knowing only one person (my daughter).
"Well, if you want isolated and beautiful and a place you can run free with your dog in places with hardly any other people - or nobody - around, this is a wonderful place. I will desperately miss the giant redwoods, especially, as will my dog."
I think I am ready for a stretch of city life. Museums, walking, ethnic neighborhoods and food, and public transportation. I know I won't settle in the city for ever but since I am content to rent, I may just move around while I am able.
Everything depends on getting my possessions down to the bare minimum.
Maybe we should organize a senior housing swap. Who wants to sublet in Tennessee? I spent a month in San Diego once from an ad on Craig's list placed by a young woman who got married and couldn't get out of her lease.
Some ideas - take your dog to a dog training class, my best friend in the world is a dog trainer who I met during one of her puppy classes. Find out what organizations are working with the homeless, you will probably find one that desperately needs help and they do a whole lot more than knit slippers! Sign up for classes offered through your local college or parks & rec departments. I've taken photography, yoga, and cooking classes and made new friends in all of them.
This is purely subjective but I found people here far more friendly and outgoing in Sacramento than they were in Reno
Thank Heavens you did not buy anything! (yes, I know you were constrained, but still).
"Quite the adventure, I am taking the leisurely CA tour one town at a time" is the way I'd frame it if I cared what other people think.
You're in an enviable position. Having the ingenuity to pull off the shoestring version of the Great Tour, with aplomb (I might add). Most people would not have been able to figure it out - prioritizing the HUD voucher, and then going anywhere that you could move up the list faster.
Good on ya! Best, Jane
Thank you! I love the idea of describing my last few years as the CA Great Tour on a Shoestring LOL! I really know northern CA, and I still haven't seen it all! During my lifetime, in CA, I've lived in several cities in the SF Bay Area, Sacramento, Folsom, Davis, Woodland, Redding, and Crescent City. Next: Santa Rosa. This is such an enormous state, I'll never see it all, let alone just northern CA.
I did move to the other areas with the hope of staying - Redding and Crescent City, but yes, my goal was the Section 8 HUD voucher. And my hope/plan was that I could transfer it back to an expensive area, if things didn't work out. It can be done, but it sure ain't easy!
If I'd known from the start that I wanted to end up in Santa Rosa, I probably could have shaved a year off of my Great Tour by just coming straight to Crescent City. But, I'm actually glad I lived in Redding for a year. I always thought sunshine was the #1 thing I wanted in where I lived, and I learned that even sunshine can be opressive, if it's constant, along with heat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2sleepy
Some ideas - take your dog to a dog training class, my best friend in the world is a dog trainer who I met during one of her puppy classes. Find out what organizations are working with the homeless, you will probably find one that desperately needs help and they do a whole lot more than knit slippers! Sign up for classes offered through your local college or parks & rec departments. I've taken photography, yoga, and cooking classes and made new friends in all of them.
This is purely subjective but I found people here far more friendly and outgoing in Sacramento than they were in Reno
Yes, taking classes is the way to go. It's a bunch of strangers coming together with a common purpose. It's not an established clique that you go into as a stranger. Completely different dynamics. I love taking classes.
The main thing the Section 8 voucher does for me, is it gives me about $300 disposable income every month. I did not have this before. So, now I can afford to go to classes and take a little day bus trip, or save some for whatever. And now, I'll have that money in a place that actually has classes LOL! Yay!
Oh, someone talked about downsizing - I have seriously downsized since moving to these senior apartments. The last one was about 215 square feet, the one I'm in now is 115 square feet. Seriously! So, moving will be relatively easy. And the place I'm looking at moving into, is another studio that is 511 square feet!!!!!! Wahoooooo! With a walk-in closet! The angels are singing ha ha.
The manager started describing it and that it's really, really small at only 511 square feet and I cracked up! I told her, that sounds like the Taj Mahal to me ha ha. And it's in a string of studios that are all just one-story structures with my own key - no halls with outside security doors, or elevators to deal with. It's funny how your idea of heaven can drastically change over the years LOL.
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I spent a month in San Diego once from an ad on Craig's list placed by a young woman who got married and couldn't get out of her lease.
