Who Should Hold An Advance Directive? (spouse, mother-in-law, inherit, states)
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In California any person (spouse, relatives) who stands to benefit financially from your death cannot be the person making life/death decisions. I have no relatives so who should I appoint and give the papers to?
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Most people have an attorney for that purpose. In the case of my mother-in-law, it was me, because "she didn't trust either of her daughters." When the time actually came, they both agreed with my decision so it didn't matter anyway.
Most people have an attorney for that purpose. In the case of my mother-in-law, it was me, because "she didn't trust either of her daughters." When the time actually came, they both agreed with my decision so it didn't matter anyway.
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I'm not sure I want an attorney who charges $500/hour to get anywhere near my AD. If nothing else I'm sure he'd find a way to send me a monthly statement "AD maintenance for Thrillobyte.........$500. Payment due immediately"
Who else might be a candidate?
PC MY wife doesn't trust me. She wants her two sisters to handle it. I'm fine with that. I wouldn't want the responsibility. But I had to let her know that even her sisters who inherit much of her estate also would not qualify.
Your physician? Your health care provider?
In California any person (spouse, relatives) who stands to benefit financially from your death cannot be the person making life/death decisions. I have no relatives so who should I appoint and give the papers to?
Ooops, you misunderstood me. I said (or meant to say) that a person who benefits from your death cannot be the person named as your agent in the document to make life/death decisions for you in case you cannot. Makes sense, right because if your wife stands to inherit 2 million dollars in the event of your death and you two don't get along too well and the doctors are asking her if heroic treatment should be withdrawn how likely is she to say, "ummm....sounds pretty good to me."
Ooops, you misunderstood me. I said (or meant to say) that a person who benefits from your death cannot be the person named as your agent in the document to make life/death decisions for you in case you cannot. Makes sense, right because if your wife stands to inherit 2 million dollars in the event of your death and you two don't get along too well and the doctors are asking her if heroic treatment should be withdrawn how likely is she to say, "ummm....sounds pretty good to me."
I can't believe that could possibly be the law in any of the 50 states. That would mean you can't name your spouse and that is complete and absolute nonsense. Citation please.
I can't believe that could possibly be the law in any of the 50 states. That would mean you can't name your spouse and that is complete and absolute nonsense. Citation please.
I agree, I was named on my Dad's advanced directive and was a beneficiary under his will.
Think about this - you have a stroke and the ambulance hauls you off to some hospital. It is an emergency so it will be ER docs working on you. Likely as not they have no knowledge of any healthcare directive unless someone brings one in and gives it to them. Who would that be? That is who should have one.
Even if someone brings one in, they may not respect it since it was not on file with the hospital. Healthcare directives are routinely ignored in emergency situations.
We had a close friend who was a doctor and professor at the U of W Medical Center. She had a healthcare directive filed with the hospital. After a long fight with a fatal illness she was admitted in a coma. Her husband follows her to the hospital and sees them giving his wife aggressive CPR, despite the fact that she had a directive on file with that hospital to not give any CPR! The emergency docs simply did not check before attempting CPR. Her husband had to forcefully intervene. It was a sad situation; not only was she dying (or already dead) but there was a heated argument around her about what medical care to give, or not give.
The lesson here is that you should file directives with everybody - any hospital you could possibly end up in, all doctors, all family members. And then be prepared to actually defend it when the time comes because likely as not EMT and ER docs will not check, they will simply go on auto-pilot. Docs and medical workers are not comfortable with simply letting someone die and their first instinct is all sorts of drastic stuff.
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