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That's why they say make sure to make friends with younger people...and keep replenishing I also think moving into senior housing ensures that the people are ALL older. Aging in place has its benefits, especially if family and friends are nearby. Planning early is the key, I think.
And, you're right--dealing with all the losses as we age is hard to bear.
Just to add to this---try to make sure your doctors are at least 1-2 decades younger than you are! As part of our pre-retirement planning we are choosing doctors we feel will go the distance with us I recently changed rheumatologists for that reason. My previous rheumatologist is 78, she will retire soon, and I don't need to be scrambling to find a replacement at a critical time.
Well, there are subcultures of middle aged white people that are badly reversing the trend of increasing longevity. A lot of those early passings are self inflicted, in either a traumatic outcome sense or a chronic sense leading to long term decline and eventual demise due to one or another side effect.
Well, yes, I've read about factors which epidemiologists think will either halt or reverse the trend toward ever increasing longevity which has been the fruit of modern sanitation and modern medicine. One such factor is the obesity epidemic. Another might be heavy drug use; even if one no longer uses there could be long-term effects. Those are things which no previous generation has experienced.
(To clarify, I don't mean no one was obese or no one abused drugs in previous generations; I do mean that it was nothing like the large numbers of people prey to those things starting roughly in the 1970's, or perhaps late 1960's for drugs.)
My HS boyfriend had a quadruple bypass surgery at age 51. I worked for a time in a CCU, this seemed to be very young for such a surgery. Then, he had a devastating stroke 8 years later, which ravaged him & from which he never really covered, & lived a pretty miserable 6 years after that, dying in January at 65...14 years of ill health. He was an athlete, 65 is not old. There are so many others from my HS, even younger, who have passed. Some of them, due to our generation, were drug-related, but so many were just terribly ill.
I've had my own health issues since hitting my 60's, but mostly orthopedic due to my earlier exploits...torn meniscus, achilles tendon, osteoarthritis in my feet & toes. Same for my husband. But nothing devastating...yet.
It's so discouraging. I would talk it over with my sister, but she smoked when it was considered hip to do so, and died of lung cancer.
And yes, my HS has a huge website dedicated to deceased classmates...many much longer than I.
Last edited by MarciaMarshaMarcia; 03-24-2017 at 03:16 PM..
My HS boyfriend had a quadruple bypass surgery at age 51. I worked for a time in a CCU, this seemed to be very young for such a surgery. Then, he had a devastating stroke 8 years later, which ravaged him & from which he never really covered, & lived a pretty miserable 6 years after that, dying in January at 65...14 years of ill health. He was an athlete, 65 is not old. There are so many others from my HS, even younger, who have passed. Some of them, due to our generation, were drug-related, but so many were just terribly ill.
I've had my own health issues since hitting my 60's, but mostly orthopedic due to my earlier exploits...torn meniscus, achilles tendon, osteoarthritis in my feet & toes. Same for my husband. But nothing devastating...yet.
It's so discouraging. I would talk it over with my sister, but she smoked when it was considered hip to do so, and died of lung cancer.
And yes, my HS has a huge website dedicated to deceased classmates...many much longer than I.
Some days you just don't want to raise your head out of the foxhole.
I hear ya, 3M.
Just to add to this---try to make sure your doctors are at least 1-2 decades younger than you are! As part of our pre-retirement planning we are choosing doctors we feel will go the distance with us I recently changed rheumatologists for that reason. My previous rheumatologist is 78, she will retire soon, and I don't need to be scrambling to find a replacement at a critical time.
We're in the process of updating our medical ecosystem from Boomers who are 10 - 20 years older than us to 2nd wave Xers and early Millennials who are 10 - 20 years younger than us.
Well, yes, I've read about factors which epidemiologists think will either halt or reverse the trend toward ever increasing longevity which has been the fruit of modern sanitation and modern medicine. One such factor is the obesity epidemic. Another might be heavy drug use; even if one no longer uses there could be long-term effects. Those are things which no previous generation has experienced.
(To clarify, I don't mean no one was obese or no one abused drugs in previous generations; I do mean that it was nothing like the large numbers of people prey to those things starting roughly in the 1970's, or perhaps late 1960's for drugs.)
Additional ones are increased suicide rates and, at the less extreme end, higher occurrence of various high risk behaviors such as ongoing heavy alcohol intake, smoking / chewing, violent behavior, etc. Greatest occurrence of these "out of season" behaviors is among white middle aged males without college degrees. These are men who 20 - 30 years ago would have been in high paid blue collar jobs.
Getting a bit personal ... I looked up a guy I went to elementary school with (1970s). He never went to college and went into factory and lumber mill work. Dang, he's lucky he's still alive. Normally you don't actually see elements of a person's criminal record via a mere Google search, but in this case ... lots of the incidents revolved around being completely blotto in public. Multiple divorces, domestic violence, the beat goes on.
FeelinLowfrom page 1)
I am in that situation and sometimes feel I am going crazy because my best friends have died, the most recent was in January. My husband of 25 years also died at the young age of 40 about 30 years ago. I do have not relatives or kids that I can talk to when I have problems or need advice......I have kids but they are who I need to talk about because they are stressing me out. I will be going for counseling and hope that helps.
Last edited by seniorbabeboomer; 03-24-2017 at 06:55 PM..
FeelinLow:
Yes, thank you. I'm hoping for a female therapist, too. i never thought I would be in such a lonely desperate state of being alive.
Best to you, too.
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I also think moving into senior housing ensures that the people are ALL older. Aging in place has its benefits, especially if family and friends are nearby. Planning early is the key, I think.
I recently changed rheumatologists for that reason. My previous rheumatologist is 78, she will retire soon, and I don't need to be scrambling to find a replacement at a critical time.
from page 1)
