Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Aww... isn't that so sweet. More than half of you so far are saying everything is almost perfect. Sorry, I for one am not buying it. If it is true more power to you. Maybe we are using different definitions.
One good thing with being retired is that neither of us comes home from work "ready to blow" from the stress of our work day. I used to feel like as soon as I got in our van for the ride home I would do a "frustration dump", even before we got to the house. I was just angry, frustrated, and bitter and needed to get it off my chest, but it was unfair to puke all that negativity on DH every night. SO glad that is a thing of the past!
Nothing is perfect and I'm pretty certain that I didn't meet all of my wife's expectations but we were best friends and partners...as close as possible to soul mates. I think some find their version of "perfect" on their first try and some find it after a few false starts but eventually do. Out of my friends, I think many have had a prior attempt that sputtered but eventually found what they were looking for.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,340,243 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Over the hill gang
My husband is my best friend. Perfect marriage? No marriage is perfect. Our 1st year together was far less than perfect, we were getting to know each other. We dated for years but you don't really know someone till you live with them. We both had our own way of doing things, finally one day we just clicked but it took work. Do we argue? Yes but if you ask my husband he'll say no, that we discuss things. We both decided long ago that 'Divorce' was not an option.
We learned that a good marriage takes Commitment, Trust, Attention, Good Communication including Listening ,Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive management of Disagreements/Arguments, Willingness to see another’s viewpoint, Ability and Willingness to Forgive and to say I'm sorry.
We learned to Think before we speak.
Treat each other better than we treat anyone else.
Have separate interests. You need time together but don't have to be joined at the hip.
Find things we enjoy doing together.
Don’t think the grass is always greener on the other side because it rarely is.
Don’t sweat the little things. Carefully pick your battles, and let the other stuff slide.
Compliment your spouse at least once every day.
Happiness lies within yourself and expecting a spouse to change is unrealistic and unfair.
Have a firm belief in "Til Death Do Us Part".
Never forget why you got married.
Go on Dates. Pack a picnic, go to a movie, anything that that you'll both enjoy.
Cherish each day because you never know how long you’ll have each other!!
My husband has gone through prostrate cancer and now has another form of cancer that is slow growing with no cure. I can honestly say when you come close to losing someone you see things in a new light. Life is so short, things can change in a moment, it makes you realize what is truly important. The older we get the more I appreciate him. If I had it to do all over again, I'd marry him again.
All of this. I am so sorry that your husband is going through this. I'm so sorry that you no doubt are feeling a bit helpless in wanting to find a solution.
I'm on my second marriage, as is my husband. We don't take each other for granted, we totally respect each other. We say please and thank you.
He is my rock as I go through my cancer that is not able to be operated and cut out of me. When we got the news that my cancer had come back but as stage 4, he was as close to crying as I have ever seen from him. He is my soul mate, my best friend, my partner.
I worry about how he will manage when I'm gone. I truly hope I can watch over him when I leave this earth. I've told him that I want him to find happiness and have no problem if he happens to find someone that will be good to him and for him.
We've been together 20 years. Not enough damn time!! I want 20 more years with him! My heart breaks when I think of the pain he will go through. He is my soul mate...
All of this. I am so sorry that your husband is going through this. I'm so sorry that you no doubt are feeling a bit helpless in wanting to find a solution.
I'm on my second marriage, as is my husband. We don't take each other for granted, we totally respect each other. We say please and thank you.
He is my rock as I go through my cancer that is not able to be operated and cut out of me. When we got the news that my cancer had come back but as stage 4, he was as close to crying as I have ever seen from him. He is my soul mate, my best friend, my partner.
I worry about how he will manage when I'm gone. I truly hope I can watch over him when I leave this earth. I've told him that I want him to find happiness and have no problem if he happens to find someone that will be good to him and for him.
We've been together 20 years. Not enough damn time!! I want 20 more years with him! My heart breaks when I think of the pain he will go through. He is my soul mate...
I have been looking at this poll for 2 days now. Something about it bothers me but I can't really define what it is. It just makes me feel bad to think about because I had to answer No.
I wonder how many others did not participate in the poll because it is hard when you have to answer No.
Aww... isn't that so sweet. More than half of you so far are saying everything is almost perfect. Sorry, I for one am not buying it. If it is true more power to you. Maybe we are using different definitions.
The poll has poorly worded choices and I couldn’t pick one that fit. We don’t live in perfect or near perfect worlds. I love and respect my husband and I have no doubt that he feels the same about me, even after all these years. I don’t wish for our relationship to ever be perfect, only that it can continue. Yes, it is sweet.
I’m positive our definitions on this are different. We likely feel different about the amount of money we need to retire, when to take SS, where we should retire and when. Every thread on the Retirement Forum that asks for an opinion gets varied answers.
You aren’t buying this, because no one is selling it. Take your money and stash it in your mattress, in stocks or spend it with abandon; just don’t ask which one would be perfect, near perfect, or none in a poll.
Last edited by jean_ji; 06-25-2018 at 07:48 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Honeymoon
More than half of you so far are saying everything is almost perfect. Sorry, I for one am not buying it. If it is true more power to you. Maybe we are using different definitions. 
I want 20 more years with him! My heart breaks when I think of the pain he will go through. He is my soul mate...
