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Although divorce rates are falling for Americans overall, “gray divorce” is on the rise. According to the Pew Research Center, among U.S. adults 50 and older, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s. Though second marriages and shorter marriages are most at risk, according to Pew, “a significant share of gray divorces do occur among couples who have been married for 30 years or more.”
Splitting your assets and starting over takes courage, patience and research. A late-in-life divorce can endanger retirement success for both spouses, who may end up living on half the income they expected but with many of the same expenses.
About 2 years ago, for reasons i wont get into, my OH and I almost got divorced. I am 55, my OH 59.
My OH would have been at fault.
I decided: i know what I've got with my other half, we had a past together ( rocky and all), had future plans together and I know what/who I'm dealing with. I decided that at least for now, my OH is as good a spouse as any.
If we divorced, id be back in the dating game, wyere people put their best foot forward to impress if it goes towards marriage or even just Cohabitation. Then, like my OH, later some true colors come shining through.
I don't or didnt know if I could go through that again.
At least I know what I'm dealing with.
It would seriously derail our/my retirement plans if we we started cutting everything in half.
There are various reasons people opt for divorce at any age, but if they can avoid it in retirement, perhaps tgey should. Two may not quite be able to live as cheaply as one, but it cones close, especially compared to financing two separate households due to divorce.
We worked some things out, as I got us into counseling and therapy.
I encourage every senior (or any age) to at least TRY to work things out. Counseling and therapy can help.
Best of luck to all who struggle in a less than desireable marriage situation.
About 2 years ago, for reasons i wont get into, my OH and I almost got divorced. I am 55, my OH 59.
My OH would have been at fault.
I decided: i know what I've got with my other half, we had a past together ( rocky and all), had future plans together and I know what/who I'm dealing with. I decided that at least for now, my OH is as good a spouse as any.
If we divorced, id be back in the dating game, wyere people put their best foot forward to impress if it goes towards marriage or even just Cohabitation. Then, like my OH, later some true colors come shining through.
I don't or didnt know if I could go through that again.
At least I know what I'm dealing with.
It would seriously derail our/my retirement plans if we we started cutting everything in half.
There are various reasons people opt for divorce at any age, but if they can avoid it in retirement, perhaps tgey should. Two may not quite be able to live as cheaply as one, but it cones close, especially compared to financing two separate households due to divorce.
We worked some things out, as I got us into counseling and therapy.
I encourage every senior (or any age) to at least TRY to work things out. Counseling and therapy can help.
Best of luck to all who struggle in a less than desireable marriage situation.
Why would you have to go back into the dating game after a split? Why not just head out alone and let whatever happens, happen.
Wonder who initiates these gray divorces? Probably 50/50?
That's a complicated question.
My side of the story - I have been cut off physically 100% and emotionally ~90% for some time by her choice. We sleep in different rooms, don't go out together except with the kids and don't attend each other's +1 events (I ask her sometimes and she doesn't ask me). We have cordial meals together and sometimes watch a movie on DVD or download together but don't sit close together. She is not interested in trying to resolve these issues and I am giving up on trying to convince her to. She talks about getting a small second place where I want to retire as a getaway for me. She never talks about legal separation or divorce.
Under these circumstances, if I file for divorce, who initiated it?
My side of the story - I have been cut off physically 100% and emotionally ~90% for some time by her choice. We sleep in different rooms, don't go out together except with the kids and don't attend each other's +1 events (I ask her sometimes and she doesn't ask me). We have cordial meals together and sometimes watch a movie on DVD or download together but don't sit close together. She is not interested in trying to resolve these issues and I am giving up on trying to convince her to. She talks about getting a small second place where I want to retire as a getaway for me. She never talks about legal separation or divorce.
Under these circumstances, if I file for divorce, who initiated it?
you did
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though I don't know if a divorce at 40 qualifies as "gray".
