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My community choral group benefited greatly from a bequest. It let us buy a nice sound system with a dozen mics, mixing board and amp, good speakers, monitors, etc. I think there is about $4,000 left, which we use to buy music, folders, etc.
I like the sound of that (no pun intended). I used to sing in choirs. How much was the bequest?
No, I mean if our boys have been told that everything will be theirs some day, which we have told them, then to go behind their backs and change our wills leaving them out.
That IMO, would be plain rotten and the ultimate kick in the arse for good kids to find out during the reading of the wills.
IF, for some reason we weren't going to will it to them, they would KNOW because we would tell them. We both believe in being up front and honest. And fair.
Note to add: we certainly live well and aren't saving our money for them to inherit, but they will get what we have left when we are gone, whatever that is.
it sounded so horrible the other way.
So my sons also know our wishes. again, inheritances have torn parts of our family to bits. so they understand our reticence.
lol, again I'm not going to cry tears for the kids, they definitely aren't "struggling"
things can always change also. right now I don't have grandchildren so I'm sure if I do that will change things
My kids aren’t struggling either. I’m hesitant in supplement their lifestyle choices. Except for medical, even non life threatening, then I give them some. For example, one kid had LASIK done for $5000, I gave her $1000, the rest she paid on her own. But there is no way I’m going to pay for cell phones and Netflix. One kid decided to cut Netflix and cable on her own. Let them learn to live with their means and they must worry about their retirement. Not me.
I’m done with worrying about them.
In the meantime, my husband and I fly first clas, on reward points of course, we get to enjoy our life without being wasteful.
Whether I have kids in the future or not, the majority of my money will go to charities.
15% towards humanitarian causes and the other 85% towards animals/environment. Specifically, if the majority of factory farming is not eliminated by the time I pass away; that's where that 85% is going.
The hell those animals go through on the farms is so brutal that I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Also, the environmental impact is monumental. As a side benefit, improving the environment through reducing factory farming will also improve life for humanity as well!
When my son was in his twenties he became involved with a gold-digger who had two kids and I was afraid he'd end up marrying her and being talked into legally adopting her kids so I modified my will to read that kid inheriting instead of him had to be his NATURAL (biological) children. Luckily he wised up after a few years and ended the relationship... then met and married a girl who is adopted. To avoid the appearance of insensitivity I felt I had to revise the will again to remove the "biological children only" stipulation, LOL.
. . .
Re: the whole "family trumps everything" discussion, sorry but I don't agree with that. Just because someone shares my DNA does not give them an automatic right or entitlement to anything, including my respect. And certainly not my money.
I’m confused. In the first paragraph DNA means everything — enough to cut out potential adopted grandchildren. Yet in the second paragraph, DNA means nothing. I guess you’re saying that DNA means you’re not entitled, but you might get something. But lack of DNA means you’re not entitled and for sure won’t get anything. Gosh, that would be a shame for me, who is adopted, and a boon for my brother, who isn’t.
I’m confused. In the first paragraph DNA means everything — enough to cut out potential adopted grandchildren. Yet in the second paragraph, DNA means nothing. I guess you’re saying that DNA means you’re not entitled, but you might get something. But lack of DNA means you’re not entitled and for sure won’t get anything. Gosh, that would be a shame for me, who is adopted, and a boon for my brother, who isn’t.
In the first case, the kids would be his stepkids unless he adopted them. In the second case, if he had kids with the mother who was adopted, the kids would be his own biological kids (unless I misunderstood, and she already had kids, too). In either case, I don't blame people if they would rather leave an inheritance (or more of an inheritance) to blood relatives.
We adopted our kids (no biological kids of our own) when they were four and six, but I would not blame my mother (their adopted grandmother) at all if she left my daughter out of her will; my son died a few years ago. In fact, I expect her to do so and it would greatly surprise me if I am wrong. We live over a thousand miles away from each other and are not close in any way, she saw them a total of two times in her life, and they did not bond to say the least, especially my daughter, who suffered from being removed from her bio mom the entire time she lived with us, until moving out as soon as she could. She was horrible to my mother both times we visited, with absolutely no cause, as my mother went out of her way to try to please her and her brother, and sent both of them gifts through the years.
However, I do think it would be different if it was a case of the adopted grandmother living very close and her having a bond with with her adopted grandchildren. (Again, this was not the case with my family, though.)
Anyway, I am of the opinion that blood ties should have nothing or very little to do with who one leaves an inheritance to, unless we are talking about one's own MINOR children, meaning that they are under the age of 18 or still in school. Of course, I realize that many people disagree with me, however.
I like the sound of that (no pun intended). I used to sing in choirs. How much was the bequest?
It was before I joined the group (it has been around for 25 years), but judging from the electronics, it was about $10,000. The husband of one of the members is our sound guy, and he was into that sort of thing. I suspect he did some value shopping. All of the mics are wired, I suspect because wireless headsets were outside the budget.
The nice thing about having a small sound system is that it opens up outdoor venues. When you are singing outdoors, voices get pretty faint. The sound system lets us set up on the bandstand at the city park.
Probably a question that's been asked before, but given that you don't have descendants, who/what should you leave your estate to in a will?
It's a problem that a lot of people will have, given the imbalance in child bearing. Some people have kids, some don't. The obvious answers tend to be close family members (cousins?) or some sort of cancer nonprofit.
Other than that, what's a good answer? Having a pyramid built? Buying everyone in your city a round? Getting your name on a building?
I'd be whacky, maybe leave the whole estate to some guy you never met on the internet specifically today on City Data!
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