Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
you have no clue what you are talking about in my case ...glad you know what i need to do
no i am not playing in just a rock band ... i have taken my drumming quite seriously and am doing some shows on the 50th anniversary tour joining a group of very popular recording artists ....
no drugs , no alcohol . just a love of music and drumming
Wow 😮 I can’t believe off grinders comment to you having a passion for music or in my case art is deep into one’s bones and soul and isn’t a temporary midlife thing, it takes a dedication and commitment.
Maybe you are on to something we don’t know. But my husband told me everything about his first love when we were dating, he had many more girl friends after the first love, but she stood out. She was good looking, came from a wealthy Scottish family. In fact today on Facebook, she still looks very good, and never married. She trained my husband to be where he is today, I need to meet her and thank her myself.
That's pretty much the way we are, too. But, as this is unfolding, it sounds like OP has a different sort of situation.
A year ago I discovered that one of my Fraternity Pledge Brothers had died 15 months previously. I and two other Pledge Brothers live within 90 minutes of each other but we hadn't seen each other in almost 40 years.
I contacted the other two relatively local guys and the three of us spent two months trying to synchronize our schedules. It never happened but my wife and I did meet up with the closest of the two and his wife.
40 years is a LONG time! We realized that we no longer have anything in common.
Those seeking old flames will discover the same - in the best scenario!
Wow 😮 I can’t believe off grinders comment to you having a passion for music or in my case art is deep into one’s bones and soul and isn’t a temporary midlife thing, it takes a dedication and commitment.
Good on you
it was a ridiculous comment but i will leave it at that
40 years is a LONG time! We realized that we no longer have anything in common.
Those seeking old flames will discover the same - in the best scenario!
Actually it is not uncommon for older people to re-establish a relationship (often a romantic relationship) with someone they were involved with in high school or beyond.
There are stories all over the place about this happening. The internet makes it easier than ever to do this.
Actually it is not uncommon for older people to re-establish a relationship (often a romantic relationship) with someone they were involved with in high school or beyond.
There are stories all over the place about this happening. The internet makes it easier than ever to do this.
ha ha ha , not the best idea for someone married though
The fact that you had to ask about her tells me he has been a bit secretive about this? Have they been communicating? Was he planning on you both going? While I understand curiosity and wanting to see how everyone’s lives turned out , even a couple of emails, there is something about this doesn’t sit right with me.
We are talking thousands of miles away and I don’t know why there is a need to go that distance and see her personally. My instinct would be to ask my husband how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, because I would not wish to sanction or accommodate my husband doing this. I wouldn’t issue an ultimatum or sulk but I would tell him how I felt. If he still decided he wanted to go, then I’d want to go along. If he said he didn’t want me along, then my red flags would definately be waving.
Precisely. Of course I've looked up people from my past on Facebook or Google. It takes 15 minutes tops, and I'm done. I don't spend months looking for them. I have no desire to even contact them again, let alone take the time and significant expense to travel thousands of miles to see them (some people wouldn't even do that for family or close friends). It's just *weird.*
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss
A few months ago he completely retired. No more social interactions with with employees
Then he traded his flip phone in for an iPhone. Wow! From no computer savvy to a whiz
When he first mentioned seeing if his x was alive, I helped. Then it morphed into I loved her and she doesn’t know
why we drifted apart. I need to clear this up.
He had called her two years after the breakup, but she didn’t call back,
I feel like I don’t know who this person is (my spouse😢
How long has it been? Why does she now need to know why they "drifted apart"? And if he called her and she didn't call back, then she clearly doesn't want to hear from him. He needs to let this sleeping dog lie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Off-Gridder
If he was being secretive, why did he tell you? even if you asked.
I can see it was a mistake, with all due respect.
I mean that is a very odd conclusion you've came to under the circumstances.
I don't see a mid life crisis.
I'd pay $$ to see what my ex is up to also.
There is no sin in that, you understand that right?
There is no sin in them getting together to talk
No matter how much you feel differently
My ex and I shared a bond for years.
No one else can understand because when you're young, you experience it deeper.
Anyhow, no reason why you both cannot make a short vacation out of it, eh???
Whereever she is, drop him off and let them socialize as long as needed.
Maybe you can even meet her. But don't insist, just nicely wave to her if you see her.
Stay in the car, drive up when he's ready, and pick him up
That is the only reasonable rule you should set is that they remain in public.
Instinctively, he would likely know this is proper manners.
There is absolutely no reason for them to be alone.
Yet a stranger to his ex, like you, has no right to rain on their parade.
If you still see them connecting after he's had a good length of time to spend with her
THEN I'd perk my ears up. Yet that doesn't mean anything is wrong
Except maybe they have more catching up to do
It's been a long time.
Sorry but I don't see a mid life crisis, I see the opposite
A man who considers his wife his close friend, so answers her questions willfully
But...he likely knows now you aren't trustworthy
You don't have his best interests at heart. That is sad to me.
Change it by offering to vacation down her way
90% of the time people are SO different... it will be like strangers talking in the beginning.
It takes an hour just to break the ice! They will be nervous.
If you were to pass away, and she is a nice person, it would be nice if they got married eh?
It is a good connection for him in case you die first
I'd hang with my ex if my husband passed.... but not marry him or get romantic.
Life is too difficult not to have a partner or a best friend.
Loneliness can kill
I'd chew my husband out if he ever tried to stop me from seeing my ex.
NO NO NO. I am a grown woman, and I choose to see him once a decade.
Or more when I run into him
And if he needed money, a ride, or anything, Id help him
I'd never let my ex go hungry or be homeless, he'd have to stay with us
Period.
I would expect my husband to do the same for his ex too, if they were together as long as we were.
And in love.
It would petrify me if my husband left this ex hanging and didn't care
That means he has that ability so it could happen to me too
Again, every few years or so, we run into each other in town.
We usually have coffee right then for a few hrs.
He doesn't flirt w/me, but his jokes can be dirty. Not too bad but he is a bit rough.
Sounds like you have a good solid marriage with positive communication. You should be proud.
Don't pretend otherwise, ok? Stay in reality. Hope you keep us updated.
.
.
Why is contacting this woman in his best interests? She's in his past. Seems like it's in his best interests to keep her there. What will be accomplished by him contacting her? At best he may be able to use her as a tool to assuage any guilt he has about the end of their relationship (not healthy, and also manipulative). At worst, he may leave his wife for her or wish he could. Where is the good and productive outcome for him in this?
And did you seriously suggest that on the off chance OP dies before he does (not statistically likely), she should be happy that she helped him line up her replacement??????
Actually it is not uncommon for older people to re-establish a relationship (often a romantic relationship) with someone they were involved with in high school or beyond.
There are stories all over the place about this happening. The internet makes it easier than ever to do this.
Yes. It happened to one of my older sisters classmate
He was married for years to one woman. Then his high School girlfriend searched for him. Made contact. They ran off together. Poor wife was shocked 😳
Wow �� I can’t believe off grinders comment to you having a passion for music or in my case art is deep into one’s bones and soul and isn’t a temporary midlife thing, it takes a dedication and commitment.
Good on you
I often joke about the naked men in my art class, that’s why I spend so many hours there. If I joke anymore, they’ll lock me up.
Yeah, I agree it’s deep, after 3-4 hours of painting, I can’t sleep sometimes thinking about it.
I often joke about the naked men in my art class, that’s why I spend so many hours there. If I joke anymore, they’ll lock me up.
Yeah, I agree it’s deep, after 3-4 hours of painting, I can’t sleep sometimes thinking about it.
I am obsessed with my playing .. it is in my head 24/7.. my wife says she see my hands and feet moving at night sometimes ....
If she runs away it won’t be because of another woman. Ha ha ..it will be because I drive her nuts ... she was at the studio today for two hours video recording me so I can analyze myself and see what I like and what I don’t
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
