Why it’s hard for executives to retire, and how they could adjust to post-career life (relocate, spouse)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I read this and similar threads and just think how blessed I am:
-- not to have and childhood or adult trauma that warped my self-esteem or lack there of
-- not to have let the power of my job position go to my head
-- not to have so identified my worth and personal happiness with my occupation that there's some big personality struggle when I'm no longer doing that job
I much more relate to those who:
-- don't need someone outside of themselves to keep their day or life structured
-- realized they were trading their time for money
-- if they liked their job great, but didn't like it enough to keep doing it once they didn't need the money
-- if they didn't like the job knew they'd leave once they didn't need the money
-- have other things they'd rather do than work -- even if that other thing is NOTHING (and not feel bad about themselves for "not contributing" to society)
-- don't have anything planned for retirement day-to-day and are OK with that
I'll be retired in about 19 months. Already looking forward to it. Can't wait to NOT have someone tell me where I have to be or what I have to do for 8-10 hours a day. And don't want to have too many personal commitments either.
The transition won't be some deep emotional turmoil. And again, in that way and many others, I'm fortunate.
Excuse I haven't read the whole thread and I do think a sense of importance and identity can be a major force but I wonder if anyone else has noticed that sometimes the motivation seems to also be avoidance.
If you've really devoted yourself to your work it's possible to be more absorbed in that life than your other life - the one that exists at home. Now, at retirement you need to go home and reintegrate into whatever you have created or allowed to happen while you were working. For some people that's daunting. There may be many unresolved problems that will once again arise now that they have the time to notice and discuss them.
Being "too busy" becomes a good way for some people to avoid what they don't want to face or don't know how to deal with.
I'm retired. 2010. Have no desire to go back to work. I was an executive (director) at one time, but was happier self employed. So I really don't fit the category.
I have seen a lot of retirees that have a hard time of it, but the hardest time of all seem to be had by military officers.
When I lived in San Diego, I found the area filled with ex navy captains who were stunned to find their brand of leadership was just not in demand. But I have seen army colonels and even air force majors who could not find themselves.
Excuse I haven't read the whole thread and I do think a sense of importance and identity can be a major force but I wonder if anyone else has noticed that sometimes the motivation seems to also be avoidance.
If you've really devoted yourself to your work it's possible to be more absorbed in that life than your other life - the one that exists at home. Now, at retirement you need to go home and reintegrate into whatever you have created or allowed to happen while you were working. For some people that's daunting. There may be many unresolved problems that will once again arise now that they have the time to notice and discuss them.
Being "too busy" becomes a good way for some people to avoid what they don't want to face or don't know how to deal with.
Excuse I haven't read the whole thread and I do think a sense of importance and identity can be a major force but I wonder if anyone else has noticed that sometimes the motivation seems to also be avoidance.
If you've really devoted yourself to your work it's possible to be more absorbed in that life than your other life - the one that exists at home. Now, at retirement you need to go home and reintegrate into whatever you have created or allowed to happen while you were working. For some people that's daunting. There may be many unresolved problems that will once again arise now that they have the time to notice and discuss them.
Being "too busy" becomes a good way for some people to avoid what they don't want to face or don't know how to deal with.
Maybe, in some cases, but by no means necessarily. You don't have to be...
1) boring
2) unmotivated
3) power-hungry
4) empty and vacant
5) lacking in imagination, or
6) psychologically conflicted or disturbed
...to like, enjoy, and then miss your work life and, upon retirement, find yourself adrift.
And?
If you were trying to make a point please let me know what it is.
I'm looking forward to it. Counting the months.
Would retire happy today, if I could afford it. Unlike some who....nevermind. I DO realize everyone's situation is different.
Your case reminds me when I was a young engineer, I was told the average life expectancy for retired engineers was 2 years.
2 years. TWO YEARS!!
The reason they gave was the retirees experienced stress-induced heart attacks because they've lived such a structured lifestyle throughout their work life and suddenly this unstructured life of "... do whatever you want..." caused them shock and stress. They didn't know how to handle it.
Not sure the statistics is relevant today but it made a lot of sense to me at the time.
The above is NOT true, according to the following. Btw, there is an interesting chart for all kinds of employment (not specific kind of jobs/careers, however) at the bottom of the article.
-- realized they were trading their time for money
That may literally be true, but it's a stretch and outright profanation for creative-type of jobs. For engineers who love to work on airplanes, the workplace is almost like a club or a rec center, where they get to indulge in their hobby. It isn't exactly possible to design airliners while sitting alone in your cabin in Montana. Sure, you can draw them on Google Sketch. But how would you even get the software licenses for analysis software, let along build prototypes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by selhars
But then, why retire? Because after a certain level of seniority, one is no longer hands-on. Engineering becomes powerpoint and glad-handing. Realizing this, one retires... only to feel gnawing regret. Which brings us to...
-- if they liked their job great, but didn't like it enough to keep doing it once they didn't need the money...
That's the trouble with amassing substantial amount of money... you come to believe that just because you're sufficiently smart to handle the money, you're smart enough, to handle life itself. Not necessarily true.
After all, the only real difference between retirement and unemployment is that in the former, you have more money!
Let me entertain you with a mundane but personally relevant example. On day X, I'm an employee. On day X+1, I'm not.
On day X, I'd jump into the car, heading to the office. Once there, I get a cup of coffee. I go to the cafeteria for breakfast. I chit-chat with colleagues, check e-mail, see what's going on in the lab. If it's too warm, I turn up the A/C. If the A/C is uncooperative, I call a number, and a man with a tool-bag arrives, to fix the A/C. And if my computer fouls out, I call another number, and a lady with remote-access runs a diagnostic, reloading software drivers. I go to lunch at a gyro-place just outside of the workplace campus, stopping by the post-office or bank en route. later I go to the office-gym, work out (meeting my various buddies), then shower. The day is capped off by a leisurely top-down (it's a convertible car) drive through the winding roads back home.
On day X+1, I awake and realize that there's no way to get coffee. I don't even own a coffee-maker. My computer doesn't work. There's no help-desk to fix the computer. The A/C doesn't work because the freon leaked out 10 years ago, and I never bothered to recharge it. I can't go to the gym, because I never had a gym membership, the gym at work being free. And to get a gyro for lunch I'd have to drive 20 miles into town, because that's where my workplace was, and where all of the retail establishments are. So there I am, sitting alone, no coffee, hungry, no workout, but sweaty too (remember that the A/C doesn't work!), and I can't even take a shower... because for over a decade I've been showering strictly at the workplace gym, and didn't even realize that the pipes to the shower in the bathroom at home have clogged with calcium and other deposits from the well-water.
I was never an executive, but I was a Senior Non Commissioned Officer, so that equates to middle management in the civilian world. A step up from a front line supervisor, more of a section manager if you will.
I never thought for one second I was ever “controlling” someone. I was directing people to accomplish the mission, period, end of discussion.
As far as retirement, I tried it after 24 years in uniform. At first, I liked it. I caught up on sleep, and I read a bunch of books and I hiked a lot. But then after a few weeks, I didn’t like retirement. It became boring, monotonous, unstructured, just a life adrift with no compass. Later, I also found out that I missed the action of the military. Not just doing the job, but knowing what is really going on behind the scenes.
It used to drive me crazy, I’d watch the news and hear what they were reporting on Afghanistan or Iraq, and I knew it was complete BS. But the only way to really know what is going on is to get back into the game, get into a position where you can reactivate your security clearance and finally know what is really happening.
I remember when I landed my first defense contracting job overseas after I retired from the military. It was such an incredible day. My life was immediately filled with excitement, possibilities, and most of all, meaning once again. I’ve been going strong at this second career for a few years now.
But I do worry, eventually this ride is going to come to an end. I’m in my mid 50’s and you need to be in great shape and pass stringent physicals to keep going in a career such as this. Who knows how many years I will have left? But I’m gonna ride it out until I can’t physically do it anymore. I’m hoping for 15 more years.
But once my second career is over for good, the real trouble begins. I will be back again where I was , just adrift. It’s scary to think about, but Father Time waits for no man.
I’d be interested to read about strategies one can use to overcome the monotony of retirement.
This is a common problem faced by retired military. If you haven't served you can't understand the feeling of belonging and as you said being on the inside. It is unique, 20+ years of having a clearance etc then suddenly not is tough. It isn't the being in "charge" of something or someone that is missed but being involved in that something. Something you don't get from any other industry.
My husband did 30 years and is still a consultant. He would be considered an executive but was very glad to finally be done with that part. In retirement, he vowed to never be in charge of another person again.
His 1st retirement last about 6 weeks. He talks about retiring again, but as long as he is fulfilled and continues to get a sense of belonging "on the inside" I think he will continue.
I taught a TAP class for 5 years, and it is easier to help those that were just getting out of the military (relatively young) than those retiring. Because they were still "relatively young" by most industry standards, just many couldn't continue for too long to in the same field as you pointed out. One guy equated it to losing a limb, being away from the military family. A little dramatic but I understood. Few jobs take over what you do, where you live, shop, workout etc like the military, and few support you in the same way.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
