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The real culprit here is the idiotic restrictions associated with the coronavirus. Those restrictions are what kept the couple apart, and what rendered it so difficult for them to reunite. It's a shameful example of how a supposedly modern and pluralistic society mistreats its citizens - citizens of all ages.
You're welcome, thanks for starting the thread. Very sad story for them. I'll be shocked if he didn't kill himself. He drove with her all that way with no accidents, yet she dies, he has a major one, dying too.
That's really sad. What he wants should be taken into account. I'd suggest he remove the POA or whatever they have for him.
They'll move him closer, drain his accounts and ignore him. I'm sure that happens pretty often.
I really don’t think they will do that. I have met his son and he seems caring. Although I admit he hardly has any clothes…I got him several outfits from the unclaimed laundry because he was always cold and only had a few t-shirts. The speech therapist got him a belt for Christmas because his pants fall down when he walks. My guess is they feel guilty because they can’t see him that much and that’s why the move. He really can’t make independent decisions anymore so removing POA wouldn’t be possible. But he’s certainly aware and alert enough to know what he wants and to express that.
I see abuse of power of attorney even with people who are with it though. Just last week, we had a care conference for a rehab patient in which the patient himself was not invited nor informed it was taking place, because the daughter didn’t want him to be there. But the decisions being made affected him and he had every right to be there because he was completely alert and oriented. But facilities ignore that and do what the POA says. It makes me wary of assigning a POA.
It used to make me mad when my mothers assisted living facility would call to ask me if I wanted my mom to get a flu shot. My mom was not demented in any way, was independent in ADLs etc. They knew this because they assessed her as competent to keep her prescriptions in her apartment and take them herself. By law they should have asked her, not me. POA is only supposed to come in play of a person can no longer make competent decisions. It’s the first line, in fact.
That is like a 5 day drive - google estimates 54 hours.
It is not the length of the drive, it is the condition of the road and the isolation. Mostly unpaved, petrol stations hundreds of miles apart. Where the two were found was in an Aboriginal community of about 300 people and two permits are required to enter the area.
There are only two normal highways joining Western Australia to the rest of the country. We have driven the northern one and when you passed another car they always waved at you.
This isolation has facilitated the very strict border restrictions imposed by the WA government through the pandemic. I do not agree with it but most Western Australians do, still about 70% apparently. It has enabled them to live a normal everyday life almost all the way and record only about 10 deaths in total.
But it has certainly come at a cost. I do not know why the man did not just stay near the lady in WA. Even without restrictions it is expensive to fly back and forward from Nth Qld to WA.
But if the goddaughter had to take charge of the lady’s care, she would have been very restricted by the border issues. If she flew over to Qld to help her she would not necessarily have been allowed to return. Even is she could she would have had to quarantine for two weeks in a hotel.
As an aside we were at a function last night (life is now normal here, not a mask seen all night!) and people with us were FaceTiming their toddler grandchild in Perth. They have only seen her once, when they said the border was open for three days.
I do think there is a lot we do not know about the whole circumstances of this sad saga. And never will.
I am following it partly because there is an Australian novel on a similar theme, called The Secret Life of Shirley Sullivan, by Lisa Ireland. It is fiction and set in a much more “civilised “ region of NSW. My bookclub are discussing it on Friday so this sad true story is bound to be discussed. If I get any more insights into the details I will report back.
Or accepting that long-time unmarried partners in their 80s have the right to be together regardless of what one's child thinks.
The children here may well prefer it depending on the source of income. Two people on the non-contributory government aged pension receive quite a bit more than a person who is partnered. So quite a few people have long term relationships where they do not actually live together and keep separate finances. Such as a friend who lives separately but next door to her partner of twenty years. Had this couple being discussed had this type of situation it could help explain why a goddaughter (and that is not a common designation here except among certain ethnic groups) would have been involved.
Actually when we were last in the US I was surprised at the number of people who would talk about their first second or even third spouses. I think I have only ever been to one wedding which was a second one for both, and that was only for the bride to appease her elderly ethnic mother.
However, there are many unmarried older couples in the USA as well, & it usually has to do with finances, although there isn't a penalty for cohabiting unless Section 8 (government paid) housing is involved. This was what happened with my spouse's granny; her boyfriend lived in an apartment down the hall from her. But, she told me that, while she loved his company, she had already cleaned up after one man & that was enough, lol.
And, I completely forgot about the border restrictions in Australia, sorry. I'm just so incensed about this. I always hope for a happy ending in romance, especially those who have managed to survive many decades.
However, there are many unmarried older couples in the USA as well, & it usually has to do with finances, although there isn't a penalty for cohabiting unless Section 8 (government paid) housing is involved. This was what happened with my spouse's granny; her boyfriend lived in an apartment down the hall from her. But, she told me that, while she loved his company, she had already cleaned up after one man & that was enough, lol.
And, I completely forgot about the border restrictions in Australia, sorry. I'm just so incensed about this. I always hope for a happy ending in romance, especially those who have managed to survive many decades.
Yes, the border restrictions have meant that we in Sydney have been able to freely fly to London, New York or Paris since December and return without quarantine. But we cannot fly to Perth. Their border is coming down on March 5, I think. Omicron has hit them, finally, and there is no more point in being closed off. But poor Western Australia has become a joke here in the east. If I tell anyone that our new neighbours are from Perth, without fail, they respond by laughing and asking how they escaped.
But yes, it no doubt has impacted this story but it sounds to me that the man must have had early dementia as nobody who is fully rational would set off on that trip in the middle of summer with a sick person. It is the sort of journey that is done by well prepared people, generally in convoy, in winter.
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