Retiring far away from grown children (grandparents, moving, states, relatives)
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My husband is retired and I have 4 more years of work. We are interested in moving to another country for retirement because it makes sense financially. The cost of living in Florida just keeps increasing and home owners insurance is through the roof. We have done our research and are planning a boots on the group trip next year so that we can make an educated decision. We have 5 grown boys between us. 3 live in Florida but are all at least 2 hours away. One lives in NC and one lives in VA.
I am interested in hearing from others that have decided to retire away from your grown children. How did you kids handle the news? How often did you travel to see them? Did they ever come see you? How was it when your children had children?
The cost of living in Florida just keeps increasing and home owners insurance is through the roof.
The desire (need?) to get out of Florida is one set of Q's..
Leaving the country to maybe save a few nickles on rent is a whole other matter.
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My husband is retired and I have 4 more years of work.
We have 5 grown boys between us.
How many grands? How young?
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How often did you travel to see them? Did they ever come see you?
If the money is strong then airfare and time off for the extended travel to make visits worthwhile isn't a cost issue.
Without the deep pockets though and/or other relationship conflicts...
We have grandchildren and are near one set and not the other. Thinking of buying something very cheap down by the other children and splitting the year. No way would I ever leave the country unless they all came with us.
In our experience, with young children, they do not come to visit you, you go to visit them. Covid was horrible, cut off from the far aways because of travel restrictions.
Honestly wish that was not my answer, as we are not crazy about living in either of the states they live in.
I think that if you move far away and to a different country, you do so with the realization that you will not be seeing your kids very often unless you choose to travel back to the states to visit them. That isn't because your kids don't want to see you, it's because plane flights are not cheap and flying with young children is going to cost both money and time that they quite possibly do not have.
I, personally, would look into moving to a lower cost of living area in Florida that is more inland and less at risk from hurricanes or even closer to my children in a more affordable area.
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We're planning to move farther away from our daughter and grandsons, and also from our son and granddaughter. Still, we will be within hours of both, and closer to some other relatives. The young adult kids have potential to move father away, to another state for their work, so it's not sensible for us to stay in an expensive area in a big house, when we can downsize, pay cash and will have plenty of time to make the drive to see them when we want. Leaving the country is similar but you are trading a drive for needing passports and a flight, and that can be expensive for you and for the family if they go to see you.
We thought about retiring overseas but chose not to for a variety of reasons:
1. Medical Issues. We both have a variety of issues and are mostly happy with the doctors we have now. I didn't want start over from scratch with all new doctors and specialties.
3. Neither of my children are well off. I figure any savings I'd get by moving would be offset by the cost of air travel back and forth, with us paying to go see them and probably paying for them to com see us.
A group of us were just discussing this, both of the parent moving away and from the child moving away.
The kids all handled it well, as they know anyone can move at any time for their jobs too.
Most visit once a year, pre- and post-COVID.
Most visit once a year, pre- and post-COVID.
THAT was the game changer. Grandparents like to see their grandkids more than a few days a year.
Where were you considering retirement?
Some place close to an international airport is far different than the remote jungles of Peru.
Yes, it can go both ways. My kid lived in China for more than a year, but I don't think she ever intended for it to be longer. I don't know, though. She might decide to head for the other side of the planet again someday.
I always intended to leave NJ, but now I don't know where to go. Daughter would like me to come to where she is, but I don't know 'bout that. Would have to visit the city more before I made that leap.
My situation differs from most on here in that there is no "we", just I, and there are not and never will be grandchildren.
We are over 2500 miles away, the kids were good with the decision. It's hard on my husband but we see them, every year or two. I know he would like to be closer, but they are busy with their lives any way.
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A group of us were just discussing this, both of the parent moving away and from the child moving away.
The kids all handled it well, as they know anyone can move at any time for their jobs too.
Most visit once a year, pre- and post-COVID.
Most visit once a year, pre- and post-COVID.
THAT was the game changer. Grandparents like to see their grandkids more than a few days a year.
Where were you considering retirement?
Some place close to an international airport is far different than the remote jungles of Peru.
We have no grandchildren yet. Only 1 or 2 of them seem like they might. I guess that is subject to change.
We plan to live near a large international airport in Panama City, Panama and it's a 3 hour flight to Orlando and like a 4 hour flight to NC.
We would plan on coming back to the states at least once per year and the cost of that would not outweigh the savings by moving there. We only see the children that live in NC and VA once per year now. All of our friends, except for our neighbors, have left the area so we will be starting over regarding friends anyway.
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