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This is probably going to be excruciatingly painful to read, but I want to go ahead and post it, in case someone can help me, or I can help someone else.
I lost first my husband, and then my dad, and then my mom. I'm nearing 60 and am overweight, bored, lonely, depressed, and not moving forward in my life and career, at all. It's time for me to quit feeling sorry for myself and do something: I'm working on my health issues right now.
My options include moving to various cities to pursue more education, more opportunities, and I have some interesting options, if I can get myself together physically. But sometimes I wonder, what's the point?? I'm nearly 60, and I don't think I look "old," but what kinds of things can someone my age accomplish?
I might add that I've made a comfortable little niche for myself in this little town, have no financial worries, there is good health care here, and I could just stay here and rot, and be buried here, but I just feel I'm capable of more.
First, get the depression treated. Until you get that done, you won't move ahead. There are excellent medications for it that won't leave you out of it or happy all the time. They just fix the chemistry and give you a helping hand to get your life together.
Tell a friend you want treatment for it and ask them to make an appointment for you with your doctor and take you. Not being able to act is one of symptom of depression and getting help from friends can get you moving and out of that hole.
I agree;you need to do somethogn about teh dep0ression. Chage like your talking aboput may only make it worse really.There are alot of things you can do since you financially stble rather than rot away once you solve the depression.
Hey, you've built up a vast store of knowledge and abilities and information that can only be obtained by living 60 years! You might want to consider doing some volunteer work, sharing some of that wisdom that you've gained the hard way with others who are in a worse place than you are.
Or, you might decide to start something entirely new, an interest or goal that you've set aside in the past because of lack of time, commitments to other people, or such - now might be the time to take it out and dust it off and give it a whirl!
But I agree, you need to deal with the depression (whether it be chemical or situational - hey, things go bad in life, people die, and it's NORMAL to be depressed occasionally - we don't need to be medicated against life and its ups and downs, after all, only those things that are genuinely an inappropriate reaction to life) before you uproot your life. You need to be moving toward, not away from, if you get what I mean.
No; thank you for your concern. I'm not clinically depressed, I'm just mildly bored and uncomfortable. I was not asking for advice about depression, anyway; that would go in a different forum.
I was asking, I thought very specifically, about what kinds of things someone in their 60's could accomplish.
why not sit down and make a list or pros and cons for the city or place you may want to go to.
Then write a list of what you will want to do there. Say go to school, and then list anything-reason
why not. Relocating to a different pace is not always easy, because unless you do know somebody
it is just you. You always could if money is not a problem visit for 2 weeks and see if you would
enjoy this. Many times people go on vacation and love where they are, but full-time don't. Sixty is not old now, and you always can go back to school, or even take courses for fun and enjoyment. You also could take an attitude or personality test to show you where you might find something
you had never thought about doing. Some people want to work around people, some would hate that. Some people enjoy working with children
or animals. The world is wide open to live a dream, and make it come true. Easy no but possible, yes. You even could join the peace corps. Go traveling with people who share you enjoy, it would be fun!
Last edited by maggiekate; 02-05-2009 at 02:05 PM..
Gee, 60's aren't old by any means these days. But I have to work hard to not let "society" dictate to me what is old. Actually I really like being in my 60's so far (now my 70's kind of scare me , I find it quite freeing in many ways. I'm still working full time, have a 3 hr a day commute, and totally support myself. If you are financially secure, that's a very big blessing.
But I can understand...health problems can get to you, so I agree that they should be #1 priority. I had to do that myself last year and I'm glad I did. Even in a small town, there are probably places you can donate your time and experience to help others. I have no family at all that I am close to, parents gone and I have no children so I know how lonely that can be sometimes. I know when I get down, I just have to stop thinking about myself so much (which isn't easy to do but it does work).
I used to volunteer at a nursing home and believe me, I turn to God every day in gratitude for what I have.
I read these threads and realize that there are a whole lot of us that are going thru the same things...that helps me too.
This is probably going to be excruciatingly painful to read, but I want to go ahead and post it, in case someone can help me, or I can help someone else.
I lost first my husband, and then my dad, and then my mom. I'm nearing 60 and am overweight, bored, lonely, depressed, and not moving forward in my life and career, at all. It's time for me to quit feeling sorry for myself and do something: I'm working on my health issues right now.
My options include moving to various cities to pursue more education, more opportunities, and I have some interesting options, if I can get myself together physically. But sometimes I wonder, what's the point?? I'm nearly 60, and I don't think I look "old," but what kinds of things can someone my age accomplish?
I might add that I've made a comfortable little niche for myself in this little town, have no financial worries, there is good health care here, and I could just stay here and rot, and be buried here, but I just feel I'm capable of more.
Your thoughts appreciated,
I'm a big advocate of starting over someplace else but moving is not to everyone's liking. Do you know what goes on in your town, when you are at work, that might interest you? I ask this because until I was researching retirement, retirement locations and then actually retired, did I discover all of the activities that go on in some towns and many are free or cheap.
For example, if you like reading or gardening, I'll bet you somewhere near you there are book discussion groups and gardening clubs. You may enjoy feeding the birds in your yard or fishing now but probably never considered joining a birdwatching group or a fishing club because as a working person, you are either too pooped to attend meetings and events or don't have the time now to even consider the commitment. Maybe you like to attend plays and volunteering at the local playhouse would interest you. You may think you'd like to try some type of arts & crafts activity but think you are to old to start now. Poop on that! Some arts and crafts stores have daytime classes as do some colleges and art centers. There are always classes for beginners. You may think you are the only one with a particular hobby but when you do some Internet research I'll bet you'll find others just like you in some forum somewhere.
Many clubs and organizations have social events to go along with the primary group activity. For example, my book group goes out to lunch after we meet. I was in a fishing club at one time that had an annual dinner. Church groups sponsor picnics. Etc.
I'll bet your town or county or church has some kind of fair, festival, parade, concert, other event where they need volunteers for the event. That's a good start with volunteering because if you don't like it, when the event is over your commitment is, too.
If there's nothing for you in the town, move to where you can have a life.
Maybe you haven't discovered what floats your boat, yet. I only discovered photography after I retired, took a class and went on a photography trip. As a result of the photography, I have also developed an interest in birds. I never even "heard the birds" when I was working nevermind looking at them or photographing them. And I don't care if I'm good or not. I just like doing it.
Check your area for continued learning programs specifically geared to retirees and try different types of classes to see if some topic/subject piques your interest. There are usually no tests and maybe only some reading homework. Some have day trips and overnight trips as part of the program. You know, you aren't going for college credit (but you can do that, too). If you always wanted to take a jazz appreciation class, the short stories of Edgar Allen Poe, synchronized swimming or underwater basket weaving, now is your chance with no strings (grades) attached and no one tsk, tsking about your choices or interests. I'm currently taking a class in Unmanned Aerial Vehicles and I love it. Two years ago, it would never have occured to me to take such a class.
I say dive right in and the heck what anybody thinks. Try it all. Something will stick and get you excited.
You know, even if it's hard to make friends or if you are a loner, the shared activities will give you the opportunities for conversation and idea sharing and that ain't bad.
The important thing, I think, is seeing retirement as a new adventure and diving in.
I am so sorry for your losses, and I can understand your depression. Now, though, you owe it to yourself, and to your late husband and father, to live your life and be happy. Do what you need to do to be healthy. Get help for your depression. Make lists of what you want to do and be, and then figure out how to do and be those things. At 60, you could have 30 more years of life to enjoy, do things, enrich yourself and others. I'm going to be 60 in a couple of years, and I feel like I'm just getting started!
Meanwhile, maybe you will be inspired by these folks (info gathered from various websites):
At age 60:
Jimmy Carter became an international mediator and peacemaker.
Paul Newman started a food empire that has contributed $175 million to charity.
Maggie Kuhn started the Gray Panthers.
Julia Child published Mastering the Art of French Cooking Volume 2. (She was 50 when the first volume was published.)
Prince Charles can still look forward to being King of England.
At age 70:
Benjamin Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence.
French actress Sarah Bernhardt had a leg amputated but refused to abandon the stage.
Justice John W. Sirica heard the Watergate case.
Judy Brenner, who had recently run the Boston Marathon, chased a teenage shoplifter 100 feet and helped hold him until police arrived.
At age 80:
Jessica Tandy became the oldest Oscar recipient for her work in Driving Miss Daisy.
George Burns became the second oldest Oscar recipient for his work in The Sunshine Boys.
American writer and physician Oliver Wendell Holmes published "Over the Teacups," which displayed his characteristic vitality and wit.
Christine Brown of Laguna Hills, California flew to China and climbed the Great Wall.
Paul Newman earned an Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie for "Empire Falls" in 2005.
Dick Van Dyke appeared in the movie, "A Night at the Museum."
Sir George Martin (along with his son Giles) co-produced the Beatles' album "Love," the soundtrack to a Cirque du Soleil play.
At age 90:
Chagall became the first living artist to be exhibited at the Louvre museum.
Pablo Picasso was still producing drawings and engravings.
Jack LaLanne:
* 1974 (age 60): For the second time, Jack swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound boat.
* * * 1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance of 21 years earlier, Jack again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound boat.
* * * 1976 (age 62): To commemorate the "Spirit of '76", United States Bicentennial, Jack swam one mile in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people.
* * * 1979 (age 65): Jack towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds of Louisiana Pacific wood pulp.
* * * 1980 (age 66): Jack towed 10 boats in North Miami, Florida. The boats carried 77 people, and he towed them for over one mile in less than one hour.
* * * 1984 (age 70): Once again handcuffed and shackled, Jack fought strong winds and currents as he swam 1.5 miles while towing 70 boats with 70 people from the Queen's Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary.
Why do you see being 60 as a barrier to anything? That's why I suggested getting the depression treated.
Physical limitations can be a barrier at any age. Age may make it harder to get a job but that's it as far as age-related barriers go unless you think it is.
You can become a doctor, lawyer, artist, writer, whatever you want. Actually it's easier to do what you want when you're old.
Like they say, you may be 70 when you finish studying or become successful but you'll be 70 anyway so go for it.
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, I find it quite freeing in many ways. I'm still working full time, have a 3 hr a day commute, and totally support myself. If you are financially secure, that's a very big blessing. 