Take Care In Picking That Retirement Area (spouse, inherit, relatives)
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One of the issues many people don't discuss is whether or not you see yourself in one of these places.....
I don't think anyone ever sees themselves in one of those places....but it is amazing how many people end up in them. We just never know how old, incapacitated or ill we will ultimately become. You can't anticipate or predict how you will ultimately end up no matter how much you presently abhor the idea of being in "one of those places." There are lots of twists and turns to life and we rarely have ultimate control over how we will end our lives.
Many of those in nursing homes fail to see the grimness, as they're so loaded down with medication, they don't know if they're still on Planet Earth or in Heaven!
And there's nothing wrong with ending your life that way, not being conscious of where you are, and extremely comfortable with sufficient pain medication.
I work in one of these facilities, and very, very few, if any, are screaming: Let me outta here!
What's worrisome to me is the inevitable cuts in Medicaid/Medicare down the road! No way around it!
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cattknap
... You can't anticipate or predict how you will ultimately end up no matter how much you presently abhor the idea of being in "one of those places."
So many stories, ...
My dad went to bed one night (pre-age 50, a very successful outgoing guy). Stroke came in the night, he was under skilled care and my care for the next 35 yrs. He was unable to speak for over 10 yrs, and never was capable of caring for himself. (and none too happy bout that)
Uncle age 59.8 (was gonna get LTC the day before he was 60). Very healthy and active, went in for simple elective surgery and was O2 deprived. Been in vegetative state for over 10 yrs, still fighting insurance claim, NO help. Lots of change / expense. Certainly not retirement CHOICE of lifestyle.
FIL; diabetes diagnosis @ age 68, amputee, and tube feeding by 75.
An earlier exit certainly looks better than these cases, and these are just a couple within family. Many in much worse / restrictive shape. None of these guys had any choice, warning or say-so in their situation.
Quote:
There are lots of twists and turns to life and we rarely have ultimate control over how we will end our lives.
I think family dynamics were very different years ago as well, I remember my Grandmother was cared for at home by the family after her stroke, she lived her life out at home in a wheelchair. Children, cousins, etc did her care. There was no such thing as affording to send someone out for care. She was also waked in the living room and then buried down the street in the town cemetery.
I think family dynamics were very different years ago as well, I remember my Grandmother was cared for at home by the family after her stroke, she lived her life out at home in a wheelchair. Children, cousins, etc did her care. There was no such thing as affording to send someone out for care. She was also waked in the living room and then buried down the street in the town cemetery.
I fully expect a return to those age old traditions. There's no other choice.
One of the issues many people don't discuss is whether or not you see yourself in one of these places....I've visited a few "nursing" homes and they are grim, even in good areas of the country. Personally, I don't see myself lingering for months, or years, dependent on machines at the end of my life, being fed by a $10/hr caregiver, surrounded by old sick people, draining my savings, or on Medicaid if resources are depleted. I'd rather go to a Hospice sooner and let it end there. That's where I am on it, but others may feel differently. I don't want to spend the end of my days in one of those places, even if it extends my life for a few months or years. Not worth it. There are legal mechanisms that can be written into a Will to determine how you want to end your life (i.e., do you want to be hooked up to machines or not, and what "heroics" are done, or not, etc.). At that point, I'd rather go peacefully and quickly. Not something many seniors want to think about, but based on the nursing homes and continuing care facilities I've seen, (and these are supposedly good ones) and the care provided, I want no part of it.
While I understand what you're saying, "assisted living" is something we may all need at some stage, well before the final "nursing home" stage when we would be completely incapacitated. That "grey area" of years when we can take care of ourselves to some degree but not housekeeping or cooking perhaps, and not so bad we're hooked up to machines. Those years can be very long, as it was for elders in my family (except for my mother, who fought and "won" till the end, on her terms).
A friend's father, 85, cannot live alone by any stretch, and yet he's still involved in outside community activities including singing in a choir (in a chair). He's likely to be like this for another 5 years at least. No one in his family would have him live with them, so what else could he do but be in assisted living.
But will today's young families step up to the plate in terms of parental care? And should they?
IMHO they should, but "will they" is quite another question. Also, what will happen to all the DINKS who have no children? I see real sadness in the future.
One of the issues many people don't discuss is whether or not you see yourself in one of these places....I've visited a few "nursing" homes and they are grim, even in good areas of the country. Personally, I don't see myself lingering for months, or years, dependent on machines at the end of my life, being fed by a $10/hr caregiver, surrounded by old sick people, draining my savings, or on Medicaid if resources are depleted. I'd rather go to a Hospice sooner and let it end there. That's where I am on it, but others may feel differently. I don't want to spend the end of my days in one of those places, even if it extends my life for a few months or years. Not worth it. There are legal mechanisms that can be written into a Will to determine how you want to end your life (i.e., do you want to be hooked up to machines or not, and what "heroics" are done, or not, etc.). At that point, I'd rather go peacefully and quickly. Not something many seniors want to think about, but based on the nursing homes and continuing care facilities I've seen, (and these are supposedly good ones) and the care provided, I want no part of it.
That's much easier said than done. Getting into a hospice is not easy, and if you improve, they throw you out.
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