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I just moved into a little place in a small town here in California, and I love it. Its a beautiful place, and I have been spending all my time working on it and getting it in order. I am only a renter, but I plan on being here for a long time.
Today I took a piece of furniture that I had grabbed off the street and positioned it away from anyone's windows, way off to the side, on a tarp, and was spraypainting when my leftmost neighbor came screaming out of her place.
She said, "excuse me, you are gonna have to move all that stuff into the backyard, fumes are pouring into my windows". I was really really, sorry, I had no idea, and I told her so. She then proceeded to say "I have a lawyer on the phone right now. I am going to let the property manager know. You are sitting out here on your porch past ten pm, we have no privacy, we can't have sex, we can't have a conversation" and meanwhile I am really, really wanting her to calm down and see that I had no ill intentions. I told her, "I am a really friendly person and a good neighbor. I honestly I had no idea, you could have told me something earlier, I really didn't know". She was like, "I don't care. I am telling you now and I am on the phone with a lawyer. We never had any problems like this before and now I have absolutely no privacy, could you not see there is a window right next to your porch?" and I said, "But I had no idea it was a bedroom, I hadn't even seen anyone come in or out and really had no idea". I have only lived there a few weeks and I kept telling her that she could have just came to me and I would have changed my habits. I have a back porch, I could have just sat out there, and I told her that I would. I kept trying to be friendly, and tell her this was all solvable, she didn't have to scream at me, but she wouldn't listen. It really upset me.
Luckily, I work for the property owner, at a store he owns, and I am friendly with the property manager. I just left an abusive relationship and had to flee at short notice, so they pushed through for me so I could get this place. Really great people. So i called the property manager in tears and told her what happened. I underlined that I was really not meaning to start anything, if I had any idea I wouldn't have been bothersome, that I really wanted to be here. The property manager said, "its not you, its her. She is a problem, she always does this, and you have every right to be on your own porch past ten pm. Don't sweat it. I will talk to her. She is wrong". Which on a Friday evening was a real relief, because I would have worried about it all weekend.
But now I am dreading dealing with this woman. I mean, I really AM a nice reasonable person. I am a good neighbor. I don't make noise, don't have parties, and yeah I know the spray fumes were a pain but I really did try and position everything so it wasn't in anyone's way. I won't spray anything, ever again, obviously, but I just want to know how to deal with this lady going forward. Its all a bit shocking, because absolutely everyone else here has been amazing and super nice to me.
When the PM knows the neighbor is crazy, you're Really not doing anything wrong. Her being crazy has no bearing on you being a good neighbor....
As for how to deal with it, say nothing and record everything. Anytime she starts making threats and accusations, tell the PM (just so it's on record somewhere)... and if it's a Constant thing, there are Public Nuisance laws you can leverage against her. But you'll need proof, and video recording of a person demonstrating they need to be heavily medicated and aren't... well, they go a long way. I'm sure the other neighbors are more sick of that neighbor than you could possibly imagine and might just help you out if it really came down to a public nuisance claim...
I'm a guy, so this is from a different perspective, but I like pushing those people. I'd be doing everything she complained about with as much frequency as possible, and being as obvious as possible.
When the PM knows the neighbor is crazy, you're Really not doing anything wrong. Her being crazy has no bearing on you being a good neighbor....
As for how to deal with it, say nothing and record everything. Anytime she starts making threats and accusations, tell the PM (just so it's on record somewhere)... and if it's a Constant thing, there are Public Nuisance laws you can leverage against her. But you'll need proof, and video recording of a person demonstrating they need to be heavily medicated and aren't... well, they go a long way. I'm sure the other neighbors are more sick of that neighbor than you could possibly imagine and might just help you out if it really came down to a public nuisance claim...
I'm a guy, so this is from a different perspective, but I like pushing those people. I'd be doing everything she complained about with as much frequency as possible, and being as obvious as possible.
Thank you Brian. I will keep my camera handy in case anything else happens. I heard back from the property manager and she spoke to the lady. She told her she was wrong, and also said she was going to talk to the property owner because this lady has caused problems in the past, so it looks like you were right about the other neighbors. Anyway I feel a lot more relieved. Thank you for your reply!
I love Idyllwild! Have you been there for Halloween yet? I used to go up there quite a bit. Climbed up Tahquitz many times.
Sounds like the situation is under control. Typical CA response, "I'm calling my lawyer"! I guess it is the adult version of "my dad can beat up your dad".
As for how to deal with it, say nothing and record everything. Anytime she starts making threats and accusations, tell the PM (just so it's on record somewhere)... and if it's a Constant thing, there are Public Nuisance laws you can leverage against her. But you'll need proof, and video recording of a person demonstrating they need to be heavily medicated and aren't... well, they go a long way. I'm sure the other neighbors are more sick of that neighbor than you could possibly imagine and might just help you out if it really came down to a public nuisance claim...
VERY true! A thorough paper trail with photos is far more impressive to a landlord / property manager or judge (as in small claims court, should it come to that) than a lot of verbal nonsense.
Geez, now that I knew that that was her bedroom, I'd make sure I sat out there late at night. Then when I heard her and her hubby or bf having sex, I'd give them verbal high-fives after they reached "completion". But then, I'm evil that way.
I once had a neighbor like that. She was the ruling nasty granma in a 3-generation house and accused me of dumping used engine oil into the ground after she saw me doing an oil change, for which I drained the oil into a container and brought it to a proper disposal place. She also would flourishingly move her curtains every time I came home, to try to intimidate me with notions of spying. When she barked "Why don't you go back where you came from!" I knew where SHE was coming from, alright. I am not white but I was born in the US, to legal immigrant parents. She herself probably was born in Italy, but I guess white skin made her think she was superior.
When I talked to my landlord about her, he immediately laughed and dismissed her with, "She's a crazy old peasant from Italy." Her next tactic was to pour used engine oil into the ground, I kid you not. My roommate witnessed it. Her family was pure trash. They had a July 4th party and the adults were drunk, shooting off fireworks right in their yard within city limits. Then their grandchild, an infant, began screaming bloody murder from the noise, and they LAUGHED.
Trashy people live in cities, too. You are lucky that your property manager gets the situation and doesn't sympathize with the bullying beeotch. So continue to be nice with everyone else and ignore the battleax.
Wow, there just some really crazy and mean people out there. I am so sorry that the OP and pikabike have/had neighbors like that. People screaming at you is intoloreable. And, firing firecrackers when a baby screams is sick. I hope you find peace after what you were through before.
You are sitting out here on your porch past ten pm, we have no privacy, we can't have sex, we can't have a conversation" ....... "We never had any problems like this before and now I have absolutely no privacy, could you not see there is a window right next to your porch?" and I said, "But I had no idea it was a bedroom, I hadn't even seen anyone come in or out and really had no idea". ....... I kept telling her that she could have just came to me and I would have changed my habits. I have a back porch, I could have just sat out there, and I told her that I would.......
Regarding the above, if I may make a suggestion - do NOT change your habits for her. Do not move to your back porch to satisfy her demands for privacy. I've encountered unbalanced people like her and she is trying to manipulate you. If you give in to her demands you will create a situation where if you give her an inch she will demand a mile. Over and over again. She has a mental problem and won't quit if you try to please her. You haven't done anything wrong and you've been polite so don't give in to her even once.
What that woman just inadvertently told you is that SHE has been spying on YOU from her bedroom whenever you are spending time on your front porch and when you're coming and going.
Spraying furniture outside in a residential neighbourhood, I can understand people getting upset about that smell because it is offensive, but she has no right to be offended by you spending time on your porch at any time of the day or for any other reason. If she wants privacy in her bedroom it's her responsibility to put up blinds or curtains at her window and to close her window if she doesn't want to be heard in there.
Because you have a right to safeguard your own privacy too, and now that you know she is spying on you, one change I would suggest is that you hang or erect some kind of privacy screen on your porch, or a bunch of hanging plants or small bushy trees in plant containers or something on that one side of the porch. You need something there so that it will block her view from her bedroom window so she can't easily see onto your porch and watch you.
If you have windows on the side of your house that she can see into from her own windows it would be advisable to have lacy curtains or partially closed blinds at those too.
Regarding the above, if I may make a suggestion - do NOT change your habits for her. Do not move to your back porch to satisfy her demands for privacy. I've encountered unbalanced people like her and she is trying to manipulate you. If you give in to her demands you will create a situation where if you give her an inch she will demand a mile. Over and over again. She has a mental problem and won't quit if you try to please her. You haven't done anything wrong and you've been polite so don't give in to her even once.
What that woman just inadvertently told you is that SHE has been spying on YOU from her bedroom whenever you are spending time on your front porch and when you're coming and going.
Spraying furniture outside in a residential neighbourhood, I can understand people getting upset about that smell because it is offensive, but she has no right to be offended by you spending time on your porch at any time of the day or for any other reason. If she wants privacy in her bedroom it's her responsibility to put up blinds or curtains at her window and to close her window if she doesn't want to be heard in there.
Because you have a right to safeguard your own privacy too, and now that you know she is spying on you, one change I would suggest is that you hang or erect some kind of privacy screen on your porch, or a bunch of hanging plants or small bushy trees in plant containers or something on that one side of the porch. You need something there so that it will block her view from her bedroom window so she can't easily see onto your porch and watch you.
If you have windows on the side of your house that she can see into from her own windows it would be advisable to have lacy curtains or partially closed blinds at those too.
Document any other complaints she might make.
Good luck with your nutty neighbor.
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Yeah, it has been bothering me since this happened, the fact that I can't sit on my own front porch anymore. I mean, I wasn't making noise, I just sit out there quietly with my laptop, reading stuff, I always tiptoe around by nature, I am probably one of the quietest neighbors a person could possibly have. I get home from work at about 830, and spend maybe an hour or two out there at night. I don't feel like its fair that she made a big deal about me being on my own porch. Even the property manager said, "you have a right to sit on your porch all night if you want". I have never been the sort to purposefully antagonize anyone. But I don't like the fact that she bullied me.
But I hadn't even thought of the fact that YES- she actually must be spying on ME. I hadn't even considered that. I also keep hearing her say "I don't care" in my mind- she basically just wanted to unload and be nasty and nothing i would have been able to say would have made a difference. So I think the chances are real good that you are right- if i give her an inch she will take a mile.
The property manager did sound especially weary when she said she would talk to the owner of the property. She may be asked to leave. Oh man, that would be fantastic. Cause this has really kind of made me feel less happy to be in my happy place. Thank you for your perspective.
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I guess it is the adult version of "my dad can beat up your dad". 
