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Again I say, you can tell the people that are from the city moving to the country and will never fit in. They call it being private, etc. But they are not really part of a tight knit community and never will be.
Country people are open and friendly with each other. If you need some help they are there to help you.
City people are suspicious of other people, and they keep up a wall between them selves and other as a protective mechanism. This is very apparent in the majority of posts on this thread. No matter how long they live in the country, they will never fit into the community. They will never know the joy of a friendly country community, as they will never let their guard down and fit in.
The country people know who you are, and they will not invite you into the community, as you do not fit into their lifestyle, which is be friends and work together to help each other.
Country people are different. Some will have a PHD from a major university, but you will never know it, as most of the people in town do not know it. Some will have multiple millions of dollars, and some will be poor, but they all take care of one another and no one thinks they are better than other people. They are all locals and proud of it.
When they try to invite you into their close community, a number of posters tell how they would reject those offers, as they are private people. The community will never accept you into their lives.
As I have read these posts, and it makes me sad, that you move to the country made up of friends, and are not ready to accept the country life style and never will be part of. Stay in or go back to the city, where you are comfortable, afraid of people who are afraid of you.
Some folks will never get it oldtrader. They're happier obsessing over minutia and missing what is being said because they think repeating one unimportant thing over and over makes them clever in their mind.
Really confirms what I saw when I was stationed on the Olympic peninsula, and why I couldn't wait to get back home. It's a lonely place out there, lucky for me, the fishing was great.
Some folks will never get it oldtrader. They're happier obsessing over minutia and missing what is being said because they think repeating one unimportant thing over and over makes them clever in their mind.
Really confirms what I saw when I was stationed on the Olympic peninsula, and why I couldn't wait to get back home. It's a lonely place out there, lucky for me, the fishing was great.
For me, this conversation has been about appropriate ways to integrate into a new community and not about country mice vs. city mice. My family has six generations into farming in the PNW on one side and five on the other, and I also have a home in a small community on an island in Alaska, speaking of good fishing. Never lived in a city unless you count Ketchikan as such when I was in my 20s....anyway, I've got as good a grasp on rural living as anyone, and yeah, it's kind of annoying to be lectured about it when my point was that taking food to neighbors as a new resident isn't the norm here. (ETA I'm mostly talking about oldtrader's rather assumptive posts). Anyway, thanks for understanding that having an open door policy concerning total strangers isn't exactly a wise strategy for women who live alone or who are alone when someone comes knocking.
I understand and can relate to your experiences on the Olympic Peninsula; gentrification has definitely created some annoyances in many parts of Washington and Oregon. But neither Diane nor myself was promoting the type of behavior you've described about your experiences living there — quite the opposite, actually.
I know my neighbors. I know their names, their dogs' names, and enough about their daily lives that I'd recognize out-of-the ordinary circumstances and check to see if things were okay if something wasn't right. If there's a bear outside, whoever sees it first lets the others know.
Last edited by Metlakatla; 03-19-2019 at 05:54 PM..
Greeting all.
Hey I have a somewhat odd question.
We purchased a second home on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State.
We will be full time residents there in 3 years when our retirement kicks in.
We are in the unincorporated “boonies†on a secluded dead end road.
It’s about 5 miles from a mini mart and 12 or so miles to a city with 6k people.
There are about 20 houses on this road which is about 9 miles long.
90% are waterfront properties with long driveways and are vacation homes.
Ours is one of those.
So the question is how would you meet your neighbors?
I am somewhat of an isolationist.
For me personally I wouldn’t dig somebody walking down my road and knocking on my door.
Yeah I know that sounds kinda weird but even at my California place I don’t like people showing up un planned.
Not even family members but I’m ok with my 2 best friends (friends since grammar school)because they know how I feel and don’t abuse it.
A few weeks ago I was driving though the snow storm and met a neighbor shoveling snow and stopped to talk to him.
He thought I was odd at first then we talked for almost a half hour.
Turns out he is a partime resident just like me and has a house in California 10 miles from my house.
He lives in Pleasanton I live in Danville.
So my question is how do I meet the neighbors?
I’m thinking of putting a note in their mailbox that says hi my name is Andy.
I’m your neighbor this is my contact information if you need to get ahold of me or if you need any help I would enjoy doing what ever.
I don’t know.
What would you do?
Thank you.
Andy.
Have a party, send them all invites. Do it up right...live band, fireworks, target shooting, the whole nine yards. You'll find out which ones are cool and which ones aren't that way as well.
Hey, MechAndy, I'm waving to you from across the other side of the Hood Canal. I've got a lot up there on the Tahuya Peninsula and I'll hopefully be moving there sometime in June.
Did you say you had an HOA? Because if they have general meetings, that might be one way of meeting people. We have a road maintenance group where I'll be living and that's where people usually meet each other. The group also has a bulletin board at the top of the road and a website where they share information about what's going on.
Just to warn you (and this may not apply to where you're living) but some places like that sometimes have small "feuds" going on between neighbors. Go ahead and be friendly to people, but I'd scope out the neighborhood before making any serious friends first. You don't want to get in the middle of any neighbors fighting about each other's dogs or kids or whatever.
Having said that, if your road is paved, riding a bike is a good way to meet people out in their yards, as someone mentioned. If you wave at people as you drive past them, that helps, too. You may find yourself stopping in the road to chat. Generally, you really only have to meet one person because that person will introduce you to someone else and that person to someone else and so on.
One good topic to break the ice with anyone there would be to ask how people were affected by the snow this year. If you even wanted to wander over to a neighbor's house and tell them you just wanted to get some info on the snow they had and whether that's a usual thing, most people would consider that a topic that they'll talk to anyone about because it was so unusual. Unless in your neck of the woods it wasn't. I will tell you when anything like this happens, snow, slide, trees down, fire, the neighbors always pull together. You can always ask advice on who to call if you need work done or things like that. Most people will be glad to help you and those are things a newcomer can be expected to ask about.
Now I've been up and down to my lot to get it mowed and have a trailer brought in and stuff like that, and I would park on the side of the road to wait for people. I met a lot of my neighbors that way who just stopped when driving by to make sure everything was OK and I wasn't broken down. Many of them stopped to chat for a while too. So that's something else you can do. Just stop off the road and admire the beauty and wait for someone to come along and shoot the breeze.
There's another member here who also lives on the Olympic Peninsula. Maybe one of these days we can all get together and have a City Data Western Washington meetup. Maybe Diana Holbrook and Metlakatla will show up, too. That would be fun.
Again I say, you can tell the people that are from the city moving to the country and will never fit in. They call it being private, etc. But they are not really part of a tight knit community and never will be.
Country people are open and friendly with each other. If you need some help they are there to help you.
City people are suspicious of other people, and they keep up a wall between them selves and other as a protective mechanism. This is very apparent in the majority of posts on this thread. No matter how long they live in the country, they will never fit into the community. They will never know the joy of a friendly country community, as they will never let their guard down and fit in.
The country people know who you are, and they will not invite you into the community, as you do not fit into their lifestyle, which is be friends and work together to help each other.
Country people are different. Some will have a PHD from a major university, but you will never know it, as most of the people in town do not know it. Some will have multiple millions of dollars, and some will be poor, but they all take care of one another and no one thinks they are better than other people. They are all locals and proud of it.
When they try to invite you into their close community, a number of posters tell how they would reject those offers, as they are private people. The community will never accept you into their lives.
As I have read these posts, and it makes me sad, that you move to the country made up of friends, and are not ready to accept the country life style and never will be part of. Stay in or go back to the city, where you are comfortable, afraid of people who are afraid of you.
"They call it being private, etc", what's your point?
I would consider private verses shared the only way to describe DW, Well, Road, etc.
Speaking for myself, I don't care to embrace anyone's lifestyle, LMTFA, and we'll be fine.
There's another member here who also lives on the Olympic Peninsula. Maybe one of these days we can all get together and have a City Data Western Washington meetup. Maybe Diana Holbrook and Metlakatla will show up, too. That would be fun.
You can tell who is a real country person, and who is city oriented person, by their posts on this thread.
My single daughter was an IT manager for largest local employer. When we moved to town with a large moving van, she called the closest service to unload us, located 50 miles away. Her immediate report asked what was going on. She told him, and he told her to call and cancel. He told her he would bring a crew after work to do it, as that is the way it is done in Montana small towns. At 4pm, 7 managers and supervisors from her job showed up and unloaded us moving every thing into where we wanted it. I had bought a case of the best beer I could find, and they enjoyed a bottle, and the 2 younger single men took the rest home.
We live outside the city, and often before I can get our handyman over to use our tractor with a snow blade to plow us out after a snow storm, one of our neighbors (3 different neighbors) does our drive and 500 foot private lane as a favor. We also help them.
We have lived here 11 years.
That is the way real country people treat one another. I grew up on a large ranch outside a small town, and neighbors would get together to haul and put hay up, and other neighborly things.
Many of the posters on this thread, will never fit into country life, and will never really be accepted. They are two suspicious of everyone and everything. As I grew up country, moving to the city for the big money, and moving back to the country, knowing how to act and live we were immediately accepted as if we were born here. We are both in good health, but near 90 and our neighbors kind of watch over us, as we are the only elderly in our neighborhood.
That's exactly what I was thinking! so I second what anther poster said.
See what I bolded above. Many folks don't even realize they don't fit in because they are so dense.
Irked by a kind gesture of giving a gift they do not like or want (who cares?)
Irked by the manner in which they make that kind gesture (driving in a car, walking up to the door, riding a bike)
These folks don't fit in, call themselves "private" because they are annoyed by any little thing
Some folks have so many problems they are out in the country because of poor social skills. And that's fine. No one's perfect
I do not like drop in's but I very much ensure that feeling is over-ridden knowing a person cared enough to meet me. However that unfolds. My preference isn't to go to a party full of strangers even if they are neighbors so it's not an avenue I would respond to. It feels odd but it is not wrong, nor the wrong way to do it.
Just do it, that's the point.
We live in the Country due to our loving nature but sure do miss city life. We get a lot of snow during winters, this is our first year so when a neighbor knocked on the door offering to use his tractor/plow so I didn't need to snow-blow, I was grateful. Anytime someone knocks on the door to see us, I am grateful. Those who are not appreciative are usually the same ones who don't fit in well to Country life.
Actually, on second thought... At this point, how could we have a function without pie?
I like giving local honey better, it helps allergies and is better for you. Most everyone likes honey
Very few people bake pies nowadays.
I think I've seen a homemade pie just once in the last 5 years.
Otherwise it is bought pies which are sealed from a local bakery or grocery store with disposable pans.
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