Relocating to UT - what should we consider (pay, kids)

[cdsmudge]

Originally Posted by kaytidid

Honestly? Only if you make it one. Be friendly and that's what you will find. Be standoffish and you will find it. Just be someone YOU would want to be friends with and everything will be fine.

I am LDS, just moved back after 3 years in NC. I never thought it was a big deal before, but you will notice some differences. It's not that the LDS folks don't want to be friends or anything, but what I noticed after living outside of Utah is that in NC the social circle was around the neighborhood, school, football team, band, or something else like that which you get involved with. In Utah, it seems that the biggest social circle is almost exclusively around church. If you don't go to church (LDS), you don't get to know folks around the neighborhood as much. A lot of people drive into the garage & close the door behind them & don't take time to get to know neighbors as much.

It's not intended to be discriminatory or anything, it's just that the church often demands a lot of time from it's people (it's all run by local volunteers without pay, even the Bishop/Pastor is a local resident & unpaid). It takes no effort to know people in church because you spend so much time there, but it takes more effort to make time to get to know others outside of where you spend a lot of your time - - but it does happen, and it is possible.

[kaytidid]

Originally Posted by cdsmudge

I am LDS, just moved back after 3 years in NC. I never thought it was a big deal before, but you will notice some differences. It's not that the LDS folks don't want to be friends or anything, but what I noticed after living outside of Utah is that in NC the social circle was around the neighborhood, school, football team, band, or something else like that which you get involved with. In Utah, it seems that the biggest social circle is almost exclusively around church. If you don't go to church (LDS), you don't get to know folks around the neighborhood as much. A lot of people drive into the garage & close the door behind them & don't take time to get to know neighbors as much.

It's not intended to be discriminatory or anything, it's just that the church often demands a lot of time from it's people (it's all run by local volunteers without pay, even the Bishop/Pastor is a local resident & unpaid). It takes no effort to know people in church because you spend so much time there, but it takes more effort to make time to get to know others outside of where you spend a lot of your time - - but it does happen, and it is possible.

I totally agree with everything that you have said here. Although I have known a few LDS outside of Utah, the majority of them have been here. I do understand that the majority of the time church members spend time at church or other members (home teaching, ect). I think the issue is that many people take this to mean that they are being "shunned" or that LDS do not like them because they aren't overly social toward them. I have never felt this way. My family (myself, DH and 2 daughters) all have good friends that are LDS. If you are friendly and don't automatically ASS/U/ME anything about why a friendship has not come to fruitation, it will happen. Making friends takes time and an effort on BOTH sides.

[kdavi]

Originally Posted by hilgi

Daybreak is largely LDS? I don't know if that is correct, in my square 5 out of the 8 homes are not LDS. I will question people at the Daybreak Wine Club party tonight.

Great to hear. This is an area we're looking at because we've heard it's a great community with a lot of activities and events for families; which is what we're looking forward to! We want to get involved, be included and make friends to make our new home a home.

We don't judge because of religion, or anything, so hope that we'll be accepted the same!

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by kdavi

Great to hear. This is an area we're looking at because we've heard it's a great community with a lot of activities and events for families; which is what we're looking forward to! We want to get involved, be included and make friends to make our new home a home.

We don't judge because of religion, or anything, so hope that we'll be accepted the same!

If you're like hilgi and kaytidid and several others on City-Data, you should have no problem at all.

[BuckeyezRule]

Originally Posted by kaytidid

I totally agree with everything that you have said here. Although I have known a few LDS outside of Utah, the majority of them have been here. I do understand that the majority of the time church members spend time at church or other members (home teaching, ect). I think the issue is that many people take this to mean that they are being "shunned" or that LDS do not like them because they aren't overly social toward them. I have never felt this way. My family (myself, DH and 2 daughters) all have good friends that are LDS. If you are friendly and don't automatically ASS/U/ME anything about why a friendship has not come to fruitation, it will happen. Making friends takes time and an effort on BOTH sides.

I agree, we ARE friends w/ many of the LDS in our 'hood. lol True, my neighbor is, & our daughter's are bff's, so, we naturally talk & hang out, I've met most of the other ladies in our 'hood through her. But, if we see each other w/o my neighbor, we are friendly & will talk.

However, we are pretty active in our ward & the church, but don't attend services on Sunday or tithe, so that is how we are known by other members (not that we aren't members & don't tithe, but I mean known as people lol) . After we made it very clear (not in a mean way, just 'no, we are not interested' a 'few' times lol) we were not going to convert, no one askes, they just are friendly w/ us as people. Are we the 'norm'? I'm sure we aren't, but, religion IS a big part of our 'hood, &, I'm fine w/ that. I like getting involved & being a part of my 'hood, even if it involves places that are not of my same faith. I DO make an effort to be active at the local church, not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to. I feel they do good things, & I enjoy being a part of it, along w/ the fact that I love learning & I'm an extremely outgoing social butterfly by nature.

Though, not being a jerk, I do have a ton of friends not in my ward, so, it's not like I 'have' to be involved for friends, I just like doing it. =)

I know I've touched on it before, but, that is us. Heck, I know way more people here in my Utah 'hood, than I did in any of our Ohio 'hoods, except where I grew up, I just mean, when I moved out & got married.

[BuckeyezRule]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

If you're like hilgi and kaytidid and several others on City-Data, you should have no problem at all.

How about me, gosh darnit? Am I part of the 'several others'?

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by BuckeyezRule

How about me, gosh darnit? Am I part of the 'several others'?

Oh, and absolutely BuckeyezRule.

[hilgi]

Originally Posted by BuckeyezRule

How about me, gosh darnit? Am I part of the 'several others'?

Maybe your dues aren't current, either way you can be in our elite club.

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by hilgi

Maybe your dues aren't current, either way you can be in our elite club.

Non-Mormons pay dues, now, huh? Would that be 10%?

[kaytidid]

Originally Posted by hilgi

Maybe your dues aren't current, either way you can be in our elite club.

LOL...*sing song voice* neener neener, I am in the club..oh and the check is in the mail for this month's dues