Interracial & catholic couple in Utah! (Provo, Ogden: apartment, HOA, car registration)

[aecrawford]

Hi everyone! My husband and I recently moved to SLC from NYC. I am originally from Savannah GA, though I went to high school in Los Angeles, and my husband is originally from Guadlajara Mexico and moved to SLC when he was 10. We are both Catholic. I am also 27 weeks pregnant so my worries right now might be a bit hysterical...My only real experience with a Mormon community up until now is that I lived near an LDS church in LA and the kids there knew nobody from the outside, they were all homeschooled.

We currently live in an apartment basically in the center of the city, but we want to build a house on a large-ish lot (around an acre or two) in a suburb or town nearby (within an hours drive) as my husband works here and his entire family basically live between Liberty Park and U of U, but raising our kids in the city is not an option for us.

My husband says he never experienced racism of any kind growing up, even though he was public schooled and half of the kids were LDS (apart from being teased about having trouble in English class, he was very popular and though he graduated 12 years ago he's kept a lot of friends). His family also assimilated into American culture quite smoothly, they've even nailed their American accents now.

We've fallen in love with Davis county and Hill AFB area - really good public schools, safe, it's got everything you need, big lots - but there's a large LDS population and I heard they can kind of hostile to "outsiders". We've lived our entire adult lives in NYC, where everyone just minds their own business, nobody really cares what everybody else is doing, we even went to get our car registrations changed to Utah and the staff member at the desk helping us was talking to us about converting, and got really pissed when my husband told him to let it go and told us that we're "living a lie".

Maybe it's my hormones, but I already feel like we've made a mistake moving here. I don't have a choice but to stay because my husband loves it here, loves being with his family, and I love that aspect too. Are my concerns valid here or will we be treated okay? I don't want my kids to think that there's a real difference between different races, religions, etc, but will they learn that off their peers? Will they be excluded because they don't go to the same church as their classmates?

Any recomendations for towns or suburbs? My husband said he doesn't want to go further than an hour of SLC, and inbetween Provo and Logan (not really sure on the exact travel times with them), and not Odgen or North Salt Lake. We don't care if it racially diverse, just accepting.

[Katzpur]

You feel as if you've already made a mistake. I've read your post through twice, and from what I see, you're anticipating the worst, based on a few rumors and one bad experience. Confirmation bias can be pretty powerful, if you let it. Don't.

My sister and her husband (both White, both ex-Mormons) adopted a mixed race (Black-White) baby about 24 years ago and raised him in their atheist/agnostic home in Holladay, surrounded my active Mormon neighbors. He had plenty of friends growing up, even being kind of shy. He graduated from college recently and got a fantastic job in Ogden. He has since moved to Layton and bought a lovely house, which he shares with his White friend and the friend's two-year-old son (whom he has joint custody with).

There are a couple of mixed-race families (Black/White) in my Cottonwood Heights neighborhood, and as far as I know, the kids are doing fine and have both non-Mormon and Mormon friends and are accepted by their classmates, regardless of their mixed race.

You're going to run into rude people anywhere you relocate. Don't make the mistake of trying to figure out the reason why they're rude. People like that don't necessarily have a reason. They're just miserable and want to make sure everybody else is, too.

P.S. My husband's family on his father's side are from Guadalajara. Lovely city (as I'm sure you know)!

[SWFL_Native]

Hill AFB is the most diverse area of Davis county for that exact reason. I’d feel comfortable living near base and not think twice about it. Just not in the first flight path of the f35s unless you enjoy midnight flybys.

[slomofo]

Hispanics make up 13% of the state's population, the majority of them being Mexican, and Catholicism is their primary religion. I'm pretty sure you'd do fine living anywhere in the state.

[parentologist]

Please don't make the same mistake we did! When my husband and I were young(er), he wanted to live in a more rural area, with mountain running trails right outside our door. So we bought a gorgeous almost new house in a newish development, with large lots and running trails right behind the house.

NOT SMART! The neighborhood, although wealthy, did not share our values, which were education and respecting neighbors and neighborhood. The schools were mediocre, and the neighbors' kids rode ATVs in the streets and on the running trails, illegally, but the cops wouldn't/couldn't do anything about it.

Also, it was a nearly half hour drive to the nearest area with any community of our religion. We were driving there almost every day for nursery school, social events, etc. We had other reasons too for buying where we did (commute to work), but it was still a huge mistake. We learned that you live where your community is, and drive to get to recreation.

Now, consider your situation. In Utah, just about everywhere outside of SLC is 90% Mormon. The PUBLIC schools are essentially Mormon parochial schools, with Mormon seminaries adjacent to the high schools. Your kids will feel social pressure, both subtle and more direct, to convert to Mormonism.

STAY IN SLC! The population, and hence public schools, are about 50% non-Mormon. The most liberal and accepting area would be on the East side, such as the Avenues, U of U area, Foothill, Sugarhouse, maybe Millcreek area. Look at where there is a large Catholic community for you and the kids. Consider whether there are Catholic schools if you must go to a predominantly Mormon area.

It's no fun growing up going to school with kids who try to convert you, and then just ignore you when they realize you're not gonna join their religion. And it will be harder for you to find friends, too, unless the area has a strong Catholic community.

I have had lovely Mormon friends outside of Utah. Mormon co-workers within Utah have uniformly been kind, dedicated people. But especially for Mormons within Utah, the church keeps them so busy, that they really don't seem to need or want to look outside the church for social connections.

Stay near the family, and in SLC. If there are health reasons (such as respiratory issues) that mandate that you live outside of the SL valley, go to Park City. But if it's at all possible for you to live within SLC, and near husband's extended family, do so. They will help with the baby. The public schools will be fine for your children. There's a significant Catholic community. There is religious, ethnic, and racial diversity in SLC.

Aside from all this, the traffic for commuting is horrible, so if he's working in SLC, he'll have more time for you and the family if he doesn't have two hours a day in commuting time.

[Shellybug]

I can imagine that SLC is a bit of a shock after living in NYC for most of your adult lives. My family and I moved from South Florida where our city/schools/workplace/etc. were teeming with diversity. As an educator in Florida, my students were from so many different cultures/places: Jamaica, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Haiti, Cuba, Brazil, it goes on an on. We do miss that quite a bit here in SLC, but we really do love it here.

I now teach in Park City. Park City is made up of so many people from other states and there is a nice sense of community there, but it is expensive. I prefer to live in SLC because I like having access to the city-ish amenities. I think SLC proper and Park City have a lower population of LDS families. Although, as an agnostic, I have found all of the LDS people I have met to be lovely; however, my daughter is 23 years old, so I cannot attest to raising child in a primary LDS community. Katzpur explains it very well. It's not that LDS families want to ignore non-LDS families. It's just that their lives are so filled with activities and events within the community and church, so this may seems to isolate others.

We love NYC and I can say that Salt Lake is not NYC, but if you give it a chance, I think you will really like it. It has great food, entertainment, family recreation, great location in relation to so many wonderful national parks, but without all of the downsides of a big city, such as horrendous traffic, high crime, and astronomical costs. It's a pretty great place to lay down roots. I worried a lot about "being out of place" before I moved here, but I realize after a year, that was nonsense. SLC is my home now! Best of luck to you!

[slomofo]

OP, take a drive up to Logan one of these days and see how you like it. It's kind of a rural town in the middle of nowhere and it's 70 miles from Salt Lake, but I go there about once a week and it typically takes me an hour from downtown. In bad weather, it's taken me two hours. I don't know if that commute is too far for you, but once you see the town, I think you might like it. The best part is seeing the majestic views driving through Logan canyon during autumn months.

Contrary to what all of the upper East Siders in here tell you, there does exist life outside of their liberal WHITE neighborhoods which are accepting of all races and religions. Logan's population is actually more diverse than Salt Lake County's entire East Bench, but you can't tell those upper East Siders that because they'll lose their minds if they found out that 94% White =/= diversity.

If Logan is too far, you can still find large lots in Davis, Weber, Tooele, Utah, and Summit County. Eagle Mountain is pretty good too, but they build Mormon churches about 500 yards from each other and land sizes get smaller and smaller with each new house they build, so that ship may have sailed already. The Western part of Lehi and Saratoga Springs are also good options, but because Lehi is growing so rapidly, prices may be a bit steep and any semblance of the rural Lehi of 10 years ago may soon be a distant memory.


In Summit County, there's a town called Oakley that I used to buy groceries from in the 90s. It used to be all farmland, but it's blowing up now and most of the new residents are not Mormon. Just Southwest of Oakley is Peoa which will soon blow up. If I were looking for a large lot, I'd look at Peoa because a lot of the Oakley land comes with HOA dues and rules. That entire area used to be all Mormon, but during my brief stay in the 90s, not many people went to church and being the only minority within 50 miles of the place, I was welcomed with open arms, so I don't think you'd have issues. In Oakley, there's a community called the Timbers that sells decent sized lots, but they come with an HOA. Other areas worth looking at are Heber/Midway, or Jeremy Ranch. Commute time to Salt Lake is about 45-70 minutes. The best part of that area is NO INVERSION.


In Tooele County, you can find large plots of land all over the place. Diversity is again higher than SL county's East Bench. People are friendly, schools are good, housing is cheap, and commute time is only 30 minutes. Three downsides to that area:
1. There's nothing to do there.
2. Noise from the race track.
3. You'll never catch a fish in settlement canyon reservoir.

Weber County will probably land you in Willard or Pleasant View. I have nothing to say about either area, so I'll skip this one. Buy a mosquito net if you live in Willard.

Oh, actually, there's still good sized parts of land available in Salt Lake County. Check out Herriman area near Rose Canyon, maybe even Bluffdale. There's also an area just West of Bacchus Highway at around 5900 S. I think that area is called Taylorsville, but it's nowhere near Taylorsville, I joke around with a friend who lives there and call it South Magna, North Copperton, or East Tooele. Because these locations are on the West Side, you can expect diversity to be comparable to any major city outside of Utah and LDS percentage will be extremely low. Commute from the Bacchus location to downtown is seriously only 10 minutes. From Herriman will be anywhere from 20-45. The Bacchus location does have one big drawback in which wild horses coming in from the Kennecott & BLM lands will sometimes stop by to chow down on gardens and destroy vinyl fences.

That's all I have for suggestions.