O'conner high school Truancy again ... what is a single father to do ? (San Antonio: house, transfer)

[breezeaire]

First off I looked all this up here and else where and it seems like they kind of have us because we don't stand up to our rights or maybe be have none.

My child is defiant, rude, calls me Gil (not dad).

I have video of him going after me with a shovel. Will post link only if allowed.

He can't be made to go to school. But as a parent I have to try and get him there. When he is ready he may go or not because he knows I will be the one in trouble for this.

I tried taking his phone away. It took months for my wounds to heal.

The school also blames me when he skips class, as in 4th or other random times .. I even tried to do the walk through with school, shadow effect. They never approved it last year which I have no idea is to why.

SO why are parents to blame when they drive their kid to school bus stop or directly to school?

Moderator cut: Name Removed, it serves no real purpose.

[RadiantBaby]

This sounds like a case for a good psychotherapist, not city data

[Deep Forest]

Agreed. We can't fix this, professional help is required.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

A couple of thoughts for you, not a solution but just a couple of thoughts.

First, NISD is really big on attendance because the school districts get paid every day for every child who is there. So there's a lot of pressure on administrators to make sure the kids get to school. One of my neighbors was having trouble because her son was late every Monday (because his dad had weekends, and didn't get him there on time) and the principal actually came out to her house and told her that the next time, it would be the truant officer showing up. She was really panicking because she had no control over it, she had to let her ex take her son on weekends and he figured as long as he went in and explained that traffic made them late, that would be good enough...except it wasn't.

Second, your kid beating you with a shovel or committing any kind of physical violence against you is not normal. He needs to be evaluated by a doctor.

Third, is there a reason he doesn't want to go to school? Does he feel unsafe there, or is he just bored? Does he get good grades, when he does go to school?

[ashbeeigh]

Have you spoken to the counselors at all? Does he have any diagnoses? Is he in special education? an IEP? ARD? I wouldn't want to go into too much detail online just due to confidentiality and the fact that you gave us your full name, OP. SOmeone could very easily get that info to find your son, just a thought.

[TrapperL]

Since I'm 68, it's been a while that I was a kid but there was no doubt in my mind if I went after my dad, I'd probably end up in the hospital. As far as talking bad to him, I'd probably need a dentist. And dad wouldn't be paying for any of it. If that didn't stop me, I'd looking for a place to live. You didn't say what age yer boy is but where I was raised, there was no age too young that it wasn't going to happen in my dads house.

I had a friend that had 2 boys. One was an incredible kid, now a 19 year old young man. The other was in and out of jail, alternative school, etc. He started to beat on his dad and dad flattened him, kicked him out of the house. The kid was gone about 2 weeks and then begged to come home. Seems he found out what we all know, a kid can't make it on the streets. He's now a honor student and wanting to go into the military when he gets out. Unfortunately for both boys, about the time young blood got his act together, dad came down with leukemia. He died a month ago. You've never seen remorse until you see young Chris who hasn't gotten over it yet. Sad story and one day Chris will have kids and I'd bet while he'll love them to death, he'll also see to it they tow the line or else. Sometimes you just have to apply the tough love and not let them see you cry over it.

[Pancho-Villa]

What if dad doesn't have the physical capability to whip his kid? I could've whipped my dad by age 14.

[huckster]

This is my take on your situation, Breezeaire. Spoiled or psychotic?
If this kid is not incorrigible, a trip to a children's home may put an incredible amount of reality into play. It could change his outlook profoundly. I have experienced the same set of circumstances as Trapper described here. This act alone might be enough- after he realizes no one will lookout for him or take care of him. Care for him. He will be on his own, homeless. Foster homes will be his only option. An immediate profound change of circumstances could happen if he suddenly becomes enlightened with the truth and its' consequences.
If shizzo or schizzoaffective or bipolar or even ADHD (seems to me) , he can learn to manage his symptoms if he realizes the truth.
It is called a reality check.
You are being manipulated by your kid.

Report violence to the police, it will be documented, these assaults will be taken seriously. If there are more outbursts, summon police and if assaults continue, they eventually will take him to the emergency admitting room of a psychiatric hospital where a therapist might explain the irrationality of these behaviors. They could keep him after a transfer via ambulance , at a juvenile psychiatric ward for a couple of weeks with a bunch of other kids if he still does not comprehend how things truly are; concerning assaults on his
parents.
If, he is in need of immediate psychiatric counseling. You already have video of an assault with a shovel. This stuff could become dangerous of course. I know of people hit by psych. patients in the head with shovels.
Breezeaire, a Doctor's excuse from a Pediatric psychiatrist presented at the school office will probably get you out of trouble and the extra help you need with your son if he is so troubled that he is in need of therapy.

If he is also deemed as emotionally impaired by the school system Psychologist he will get the extra attention he might just need. Special Ed.
Provided , of course that he is actually ill and not merely spoiled. The phone needs to go.

Originally Posted by TrapperL

Since I'm 68, it's been a while that I was a kid but there was no doubt in my mind if I went after my dad, I'd probably end up in the hospital. As far as talking bad to him, I'd probably need a dentist. And dad wouldn't be paying for any of it. If that didn't stop me, I'd looking for a place to live. You didn't say what age yer boy is but where I was raised, there was no age too young that it wasn't going to happen in my dads house.

I had a friend that had 2 boys. One was an incredible kid, now a 19 year old young man. The other was in and out of jail, alternative school, etc. He started to beat on his dad and dad flattened him, kicked him out of the house. The kid was gone about 2 weeks and then begged to come home. Seems he found out what we all know, a kid can't make it on the streets. He's now a honor student and wanting to go into the military when he gets out. Unfortunately for both boys, about the time young blood got his act together, dad came down with leukemia. He died a month ago. You've never seen remorse until you see young Chris who hasn't gotten over it yet. Sad story and one day Chris will have kids and I'd bet while he'll love them to death, he'll also see to it they tow the line or else. Sometimes you just have to apply the tough love and not let them see you cry over it.

[elnina]

How old is your kid? When it all started? To little info to get a whole picture...
I am sure this is going on for a long time already.
If you want our help, you need to tell us more...

[smuboy86]

Welcome to Laurel Ridge Treatment Center - Serving San Antonio, Texas

I highly recommend reaching out to laurel ridge here in San Antonio. This isn't something that physically threatening the kid is going to fix.