Why do I feel lonely in a sunny happy city like San Diego? (Los Angeles: renters, buying a house)

[BacktoBlue]

Originally Posted by Danni.C

Jeez some people from CA have a hard time understanding why their state might not be the end all/be all for everyone. I, for one, am moving to somewhere more family oriented...Some people have families and jobs and can't just pick up and leave ASAP. I am assuming you're a young man Caliguy? Born and raised in CA? And SD might be great for you, and that's great. I mean I would hope you've been to, or lived in, other states too before passing judgment (I've lived in 6 for instance). But as per my original post, as a 30-something married woman, starting a family, and trying to find friends and a new support network in a new place it doesn't do much for me. And other people of the same demographic looking for a place to move might benefit from that knowledge.

I've been to many other states and I still take CA over all of them.

San Diego is family oriented so I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you wouldn't be "bored" and "depressed" if you were outside trying to meet people instead of sitting your butt at the computer whining about it. I have no sympathy for you.

[htnspz]

Originally Posted by caliguy19

I've been to many other states and I still take CA over all of them.

San Diego is family oriented so I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you wouldn't be "bored" and "depressed" if you were outside trying to meet people instead of sitting your butt at the computer whining about it. I have no sympathy for you.

Where are you moving to? if you say the midwest then LOL. there's even less to do there than here so good luck

Good grief, everyone is entitled to their own opinion Caliguy! Living in any location in the US is going to a mixed bag. I don't think there's any such thing as a perfect location. Obviously, it's not just one person that has experienced this as there are many pages in this thread.
It might be a good idea for you to skip this thread as it doesn't seem like you can hear any negative thoughts about San Diego.

[BacktoBlue]

Originally Posted by htnspz

Good grief, everyone is entitled to their own opinion Caliguy! Living in any location in the US is going to a mixed bag. I don't think there's any such thing as a perfect location. Obviously, it's not just one person that has experienced this as there are many pages in this thread.
It might be a good idea for you to skip this thread as it doesn't seem like you can hear any negative thoughts about San Diego.

The thing is, I know SD isn't perfect. No city is, but it's extremely annoying to see people whine and complain on the internet to a bunch of people they don't know instead of trying to fix it. That's a pet peeve of mine.

[htnspz]

Originally Posted by caliguy19

The thing is, I know SD isn't perfect. No city is, but it's extremely annoying to see people whine and complain on the internet to a bunch of people they don't know instead of trying to fix it. That's a pet peeve of mine.

I know, I don't like to hear people complain either. I don't think it's a bad thing in this case because people who might move to the area will use some of this knowledge when they decide if San Diego will be a good fit for them.

[sdurbanite]

Originally Posted by Danni.C

I agree with you on the lack of community issue... I also think that might be a SoCal thing (I can't comment on Northern CA, because I haven't lived there). I've lived in the Mid-West and East Coast and I've never been in a place so lacking in community as San Diego/Los Angeles areas. I read on other city/town forums and people are like "my neighbors brought me cookies when we moved in" and I'm like, I've lived here for 2 1/2 years and never heard so much as a "hi" from my neighbors!

It could be that SD is so large... like spread out. But when I lived outside of NYC (15 min. outside the city, so still huge and spread out) it was a lot more family community focused than SD or LA. Don't know what's up out here... I've thought maybe because they are newer cities... ? And other places have more of a long standing reliance on a sense community maybe.

But the lack of friends could also be partly the place in life too... I mean I notice there are "singles groups" and "Moms & kids groups" but not groups for young married women that aren't "lets ditch the husbands and party downtown 'til 2am!" not really my scene....

If you want to experience a sense of community San Diego-style then come to my neighborhood. I have keys to 4 of my neighbors homes, we leave cookies/veggies/fruits on each other's front porches, help each other out in the yard when needed, we have a Memorial Day parade, outdoor Christmas lights competition during the holidays, progressive dinners every other month, greeted with a hug from owners of neighborhood businesses upon arrival, among other things. If it sounds like I'm gloating about where I live, it's because I am. And many of my friends speak about their neighborhoods in the same manner.

[Danni.C]

Originally Posted by sdurbanite

If you want to experience a sense of community San Diego-style then come to my neighborhood. I have keys to 4 of my neighbors homes, we leave cookies/veggies/fruits on each other's front porches, help each other out in the yard when needed, we have a Memorial Day parade, outdoor Christmas lights competition during the holidays, progressive dinners every other month, greeted with a hug from owners of neighborhood businesses upon arrival, among other things. If it sounds like I'm gloating about where I live, it's because I am. And many of my friends speak about their neighborhoods in the same manner.

Thank you for the suggestion Sdurbanite! Interestingly, I know another person who had lived in the Kensington area who also loved it. I'll have to take a look- my Husband and I have gone driving to look for the Kensington area before to no avail. But this time I found a great site with directions: San Diego Neighborhood Profile: Kensington | Kensington San Diego

(just posting the link for the benefit of others )

Hope we like it as much as you do. A really good neighborhood is hard to find!

[sav858]

Originally Posted by Danni.C

And just because there are things to do in San Diego, doesn't mean they are accessible, like say Summer Pops, where it is the ONLY big outdoor Summer concert around, so everyone goes and it becomes annoying to drive there, find parking, etc... it becomes hard work. Each of the smaller towns back east, in the midwest etc. feel the need to have their own activities independent of what the nearest big city is doing, so it makes it so there is more to do and less people all trying to do the same thing. It's just easier. Like say one year you try going to the summer concerts in one town, the next year you can try going in the next local town. There are just more options for community based fun. And to me, that means more than going to look at the beach from various locations. To me that doesn't really count as "something to do." But that's just my opinion.

Have you actually bothered searching for other outdoor summer concerts? There are many all over the county so I'm not sure why you claim Humphrey's is the only big one. So many other cities in the region have their own activities whether it be outdoor concerts, street festivals, ect.. so I find it odd you seem to infer that other cities here don't have their own things going on.

Summer brings great outdoor sounds - SignOnSanDiego.com

And that link is just for North County, in addition to all those there are plenty in the City of SD too:

http://www.sandiegotraveltips.com/pu...partment77.cfm

I've been to the one they have in La Jolla by the cove and it's actually pretty cool, maybe try checking that one out.

I've seen some people on here complain about the lack of things for them to do but it doesn't seem like they actually put any effort to find the things they want to do. I remember one poster complaining about the lack of cultural activities in one thread then on another thread about a local film festival talking about how much they love film festivals and never knew there was one in San Diego. I thought to myself, if you they film festivals so much why wouldn't they bother searching to see if there was one. Some people are bored because they are unimaginative and put no effort to change that situation.

[BacktoBlue]

Originally Posted by sav858

I've seen some people on here complain about the lack of things for them to do but it doesn't seem like they actually put any effort to find the things they want to do. I remember one poster complaining about the lack of cultural activities in one thread then on another thread about a local film festival talking about how much they love film festivals and never knew there was one in San Diego. I thought to myself, if you they film festivals so much why wouldn't they bother searching to see if there was one. Some people are bored because they are unimaginative and put no effort to change that situation.

I agree with this. I think a lot of times, transplants miss where they came from too much so they get it in their head that where they moved to isn't great like a psychological thing you know? Like if I were to move to another city, I would miss SD greatly and probably start making up excuses for why I don't like wherever I moved to. I hope that makes sense?

[Jenkay]

Originally Posted by sav858

Have you actually bothered searching for other outdoor summer concerts? There are many all over the county so I'm not sure why you claim Humphrey's is the only big one. So many other cities in the region have their own activities whether it be outdoor concerts, street festivals, ect.. so I find it odd you seem to infer that other cities here don't have their own things going on.

Summer brings great outdoor sounds - SignOnSanDiego.com

And that link is just for North County, in addition to all those there are plenty in the City of SD too:

Summer Outdoor Concerts

I've been to the one they have in La Jolla by the cove and it's actually pretty cool, maybe try checking that one out.

I've seen some people on here complain about the lack of things for them to do but it doesn't seem like they actually put any effort to find the things they want to do. I remember one poster complaining about the lack of cultural activities in one thread then on another thread about a local film festival talking about how much they love film festivals and never knew there was one in San Diego. I thought to myself, if you they film festivals so much why wouldn't they bother searching to see if there was one. Some people are bored because they are unimaginative and put no effort to change that situation.

THANK YOU. I was totally going to post the same thing. There's a ton of stuff going on all over the county (you know, driving to an event in Poway is kinda like driving to the next town) if you look for them. A simple google search for "outdoor concerts" or "outdoor movies" or whatever you are looking for will turn up a bunch of stuff.

[BacktoBlue]

Originally Posted by Jenkay

THANK YOU. I was totally going to post the same thing. There's a ton of stuff going on all over the county (you know, driving to an event in Poway is kinda like driving to the next town) if you look for them. A simple google search for "outdoor concerts" or "outdoor movies" or whatever you are looking for will turn up a bunch of stuff.

The problem is most of these people are whining about having to drive everywhere. Most of them want to be able to just walk out there door and do whatever. I think it's a culture shock to the transplants who come from areas like Chicago and the East Coast where everything is out in front of their door. They've got to get used to everything in the west being spread out and some of them just can't handle driving 10 miles. Oh no! Personally I think some people are just lazy.