Is San Francisco a good place for a mixed Black/Chinese couple? (Oakland: high school, university)

[eureka1]

You will not have any problems in SF re: biracial couple. The advice about dressing appropriately is spot-on. Willie Brown, former Assembly Speaker and one of the first Black mayors in the US, still always looks as he just came out of Wilkes Bashford. Welcome to California!

[Mack Knife]

SF and concerns about a mixed Black/Chinese couple?

Please stay away, there are enough issues there without adding nonsense to them.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Jaimepairson

We're planning to move to San Francisco or the Bay area from HK early next year, and i'm bit nervous about some of the comments I've read about race relations in San Francisco. I'm black married to a Chinese, and we have a lovely 2-year old boy. We're thinking of buying a house in the expensive part of the city ( Sea Cliff, Russian Hill), and hopefully send our boy to schools around that area. I work in Finance, and my wife in the tech industry.

As a black person, and despite all the stigma of being black in China ( Shanghai, Beijing and HK) I've had such a great time linving in these places. China is unbelievably homogeneous, but you will be amazed of how many interracial couples you will find in the big cities of Shanghai and Beijing, and with more and more foreigners pouring in China, this trend will only go up.

I feel very safe and comfortbale walking the streets in both HK and Shanghai, and I enjoy taking my son out for a walk without any worries of people being unpleasant to me or being overtly racist. I have always received great service in bars, shops, restaurants etc... I have yet to be in a situation where I've been refused any kind service, or served with disdain. Everybody's experience is different of course,but again I'm thick skinned and tend to not be too sensitive about race.

As a father though I have to worry for my son and wife while making the move, and please give it to me straight.

As a mixed couple in San Francisco ( or even bay area), will we be able to have a decent life without having to deal with constant unpleasantness, discrimation, bad service, angry neighbors etc...?

I don't mind dirty looks at all, but I don't know how I will deal with

Being called names while walking my son
Being refused a service ( or given an obviously bad service)
Being constantly stopped by cops

I hope I'm not being too paranoid about San Francisco, but please know that the amount of bad rap I've read about this city when it comes to race relations is stagerring.

Your honest input, or sharing of your personal experience will be highly appreciated.

My personal view: you are worrying about nothing. I understand your concerns but San Francisco is very diverse. You will never be called a name or refused service. I do think how totally accepted you are depends as much on you as it does those who live in the Bay area. Be a good, friendly neighbor, take care of your property, make sure you are not overly defensive and don't carry a chip on your shoulder. If you ask like you belong, you and your family will be welcomed.

[AngusHsu]

I am full Chinese and will recommend you avoid the west side of San Francisco. A lot of immigrant Chinese people from Hong Kong live in the Sunset/Richmond areas and you will get stares.

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[jade408]

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Some of you (who are likely white) don't quite understand how different it feels to be one of the only people in a given community who look like you.

This post is pretty representative of how far too many people feel.

1. You just claimed all black people are the same, instead of judging us individually
2. You just discounted to importance of how daily slights can impact your experiences or perceptions of a living environment
3. You just assumed all black people are violent and incapable of living in "polite" society

The average person, of any group is remarkably pretty similar to everyone else. People work hard, play hard, want to live somewhere safe, and want to be successful. Whether that success is oriented towards family, relationships, career, or personal growth. It is pretty difficult to continue on that path when you face roadblocks where people decide they understand who you are based on your appearance or ethnicity and let that govern how you are treated.



We like to pretend we live in a colorblind society. That isn't the case and won't be for a long time. The thing is, acknowledging "color" or any other differences does not necessitate treating people differently. You can acknowledge that we all have different histories and experiences that shape who we are, without being evil.


I grew up in "white suburbia" and only later on did I become aware of the experiences that I had that were different than my peers do to my race. It is naive to think, even in a fairly welcoming place like the Bay Area, that this won't happen. I find that many of my peers, had similar experiences, while being one of a few or the "token." The biggest thing I learned was to be a lot more aware.

[mr bolo]

maybe you should consider Daly City , there are a lot of filipinos in that area and many are married with black men or white men

from my experience it seem the filipinos tend to be more accepting of blacks compared to other asian ethnic groups

[jade408]

Originally Posted by silverkris

Nothing of the sort, and this describes non-Asian men (most of whom are Caucasian) who trade on the stereotypes of Asian women to engage them often in a patronizing/inappropriate manner.

Oh i have to share, because your comment reminded me of this awesome video!

What kind of Asian are you? - YouTube

[Malloric]

It depends what you want. Most (pretty much all) of San Francisco's black population is economically marginalized, but it doesn't sound like you necessarily want to be in a black neighborhood. So long as you're okay being pretty much the only black person in the neighborhood, I doubt you'll experience any more overt racism than you would in say Upper Rockridge which is even less diverse but does have black presence. San Francisco has enough of a black daytime population, although mostly in the Financial District, that it isn't like people in San Francisco don't interact with upper- and middle-class blacks. It's more that people are generally uncomfortable being the only person of their race in the area, which is why you have majority black middle-/upper-class neighborhoods in Oakland where blacks are very over represented and others like Upper Rockridge where blacks are very underrepresented.

San Francisco would be the better choice if you aren't intending on sending your kid to private school. The lotto recently changed so that if you come in at pre-school you have a much better chance of getting into the local elementary. Then you have a better chance of feeding into the local, local middle, and local high school. But it's not guaranteed; you could just end up going all the way across the city to a lousy school. Oakland has some good elementary schools but parents start pulling out students wholesale by middle school. Oakland has some topnotch private schools that are much more affordable than San Francisco's. Or there's always Piedmont which is entirely surrounded by Oakland and has great schools.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Malloric

Or there's always Piedmont which is entirely surrounded by Oakland and has great schools.

How welcome do you think the OP and family would be in Piedmont, though, and Piedmont schools? I think the OP would do better in Upper Rockridge, frankly, though I think he has better options.

OP, do you have a preference for urban (SF) vs. suburban, vs. semi-rural (Upper Rockridge)? Do you know where you and your wife will be working?

[UrbanLuis]

What about a place like Berkeley?