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Old 11-29-2013, 12:30 AM
 
6 posts, read 12,634 times
Reputation: 15

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In the last few months my daughters anger has grown uncontrollable... Before she would scream bloody murder, run to her room and slam the door, or throw her toys. Here recently, at the sitters, she has started to physically attack people out of anger.
Example: The day before Thanksgiving she clawed and bit the sitter because the sitter was attempting to put her in time out. She refused to sit there in time-out and attempted to swing on the sitter. So she basically bear hugged her until she calmed down. To keep her from hurting herself or anyone else (the sitter has 2 little boys, one is younger and one is older than my daughter). She calmed down and apologized and they went about their day. A few hours later the sitter called me at work with an emergency. My daughter had head-butted her in the face! Same situation as before, she swung on the sitter so she attempted to put her in another bear hug and hold her until she calmed down. Apparently my daughter caught wise to that trick and in return decided to throw her head back and head-butt the sitter...
I'm a single mom, working 60 hrs/wk to single-handedly provide for her and I. Her father is non-existent, disappeared on her 1st birthday and never seen or heard from again. No boyfriend/father figure in her life other than my father and the sitters husband. She has been with the same sitter for over a year and these behaviours just began about a month mayyyybe 2 months ago tops.
I believe that she is an ADHD child although I have not had it medically confirmed. I fear that they will want to put her on medication that will alter her mental state and personality (conflicting I know but I was on medication when I was younger and I hated feeling like a zombie, I don't want to put my 5 year old through that!). She cannot focus on one thing for more than 10 minutes, she cannot hold still and seems to be hyped up on sugar from the second she wakes up to the second she goes to bed (she's not allowed sweets, soda, or anything else I think my add any more unnecessary energy), and she talks non-stop! About anything and everything, sometimes not even words just sounds: clicking her tongue behind her teeth, la-la-la's, squeals of excitement, etc...
There is a history of mental illness and ADD/ADHD in both my family and the fathers...
I'm scared of who she is becoming, I'm scared of her hurting others and herself. I'm at a loss! I've tried everything I can think of... Time outs, talking things out, acknowledging her feelings and explaining them to her, holding her/restraining, I've even tried spankings when I got to my absolute breaking point. And NOTHING is helping. I'm scared that Medication is the only option I have left...
Please, any insight would be greatly appreciated!
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Old 11-29-2013, 01:05 AM
 
16,488 posts, read 24,405,807 times
Reputation: 16338
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayenkayden View Post
In the last few months my daughters anger has grown uncontrollable... Before she would scream bloody murder, run to her room and slam the door, or throw her toys. Here recently, at the sitters, she has started to physically attack people out of anger.
Example: The day before Thanksgiving she clawed and bit the sitter because the sitter was attempting to put her in time out. She refused to sit there in time-out and attempted to swing on the sitter. So she basically bear hugged her until she calmed down. To keep her from hurting herself or anyone else (the sitter has 2 little boys, one is younger and one is older than my daughter). She calmed down and apologized and they went about their day. A few hours later the sitter called me at work with an emergency. My daughter had head-butted her in the face! Same situation as before, she swung on the sitter so she attempted to put her in another bear hug and hold her until she calmed down. Apparently my daughter caught wise to that trick and in return decided to throw her head back and head-butt the sitter...
I'm a single mom, working 60 hrs/wk to single-handedly provide for her and I. Her father is non-existent, disappeared on her 1st birthday and never seen or heard from again. No boyfriend/father figure in her life other than my father and the sitters husband. She has been with the same sitter for over a year and these behaviours just began about a month mayyyybe 2 months ago tops.
I believe that she is an ADHD child although I have not had it medically confirmed. I fear that they will want to put her on medication that will alter her mental state and personality (conflicting I know but I was on medication when I was younger and I hated feeling like a zombie, I don't want to put my 5 year old through that!). She cannot focus on one thing for more than 10 minutes, she cannot hold still and seems to be hyped up on sugar from the second she wakes up to the second she goes to bed (she's not allowed sweets, soda, or anything else I think my add any more unnecessary energy), and she talks non-stop! About anything and everything, sometimes not even words just sounds: clicking her tongue behind her teeth, la-la-la's, squeals of excitement, etc...
There is a history of mental illness and ADD/ADHD in both my family and the fathers...
I'm scared of who she is becoming, I'm scared of her hurting others and herself. I'm at a loss! I've tried everything I can think of... Time outs, talking things out, acknowledging her feelings and explaining them to her, holding her/restraining, I've even tried spankings when I got to my absolute breaking point. And NOTHING is helping. I'm scared that Medication is the only option I have left...
Please, any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Your daughter needs a mental helath assessment with a child psychologist. She may be ADHD, but I think there are other issues jhere as well. If a child is correctly given the medication that suits their diagnosis at the right dosage, you should not even be able to tell they are on medication. I have 3 sons with Aspergers and ADHD and when properly medicated no one would ever know. The difference is their ability to concentrate and to handle stress is greatly helped by the medication.
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Old 11-29-2013, 01:22 AM
 
1,866 posts, read 2,693,200 times
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Her punishment needs to be more than just mere timeout
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Old 11-29-2013, 01:46 AM
 
6 posts, read 12,634 times
Reputation: 15
Default ...?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackscorpion View Post
Her punishment needs to be more than just mere timeout
I believe I said " Time outs, talking things out, acknowledging her feelings and explaining them to her, holding her/restraining, I've even tried spankings when I got to my absolute breaking point. And NOTHING is helping."
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:42 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,466,176 times
Reputation: 22471
Did anything in her life change 1 month to 2 months ago? Is there any thing with the babysitter that has changed recently?

Is she acting this way when she's with you? Is it only when she's at the babysitters that she's out of control?
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Old 11-29-2013, 09:08 AM
 
6 posts, read 12,634 times
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It all started when I started packing 2 months ago. We moved in with my parents about a month ago, temporarily until they move out when I purchase their house. She is aware of the situation, that this is all of ours house until grandma and grandpa buy their new house, then this will be just ours.
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Old 11-29-2013, 09:13 AM
 
6 posts, read 12,634 times
Reputation: 15
And it's only at the sitters that she explodes physically, with me she refuses to move and acts like a statue until I pick her up and move her, I have to hold the door shut to get her to go to bed. She pulls on the other side and refuses to get in bed, screams and cries for 20 minutes. But grandma comes and tells her to knock it off and get in bed she doors with almost no fight. At the sitters she'll fight going to bed till 11, mind you they lay the kids down at 8:30/9.
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Old 11-29-2013, 09:45 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,466,176 times
Reputation: 22471
It's interesting that the only authority figure she will obey right now is her grandmother and that you have recently moved in with your parents.

I think you might need to discuss it with her grandmother, see if she has any insights into why your daughter is minding her but resisting everyone else so much. You might even ask your daughter why she listens to grandma.
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Old 11-29-2013, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,613,835 times
Reputation: 98359
Is there a chance the sitter or the boys are mean in any way to her?
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Old 11-29-2013, 10:25 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,044,300 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
Your daughter needs a mental helath assessment with a child psychologist. She may be ADHD, but I think there are other issues jhere as well. If a child is correctly given the medication that suits their diagnosis at the right dosage, you should not even be able to tell they are on medication. I have 3 sons with Aspergers and ADHD and when properly medicated no one would ever know. The difference is their ability to concentrate and to handle stress is greatly helped by the medication.
This! This! This!

Go! If you don't it will only get worse.
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