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Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
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I have an aunt who has a grandson who has classic symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome but gets really offensive if anyone suggest it as a possibility. Recently they tried putting him in a preschool program because he refuses to socialize with other children and it was a disaster - he got so frustrated during play time he ran and hid in the corner. They are blaming his behavior on themselves for not socializing him correctly or even the fact that he is biracial (half Black and White).
Those on this sub forum alot know that I also have Aspergers, and my 2nd cousin has almost exactly the same behavior as I did at that age - ironically we even have the same first name. Like me he loves watching auto racing on tv - he will literally watch a NASCAR race continously for 3 hours, getting up and flapping his arms with excitement anytime there is a wreck. He is also very possessive of his toys, even if an adult just touches one.
Anyway, for those of you with children diagnosed w/ AS how would you reckomend trying to get his mother and grandmother to accept his condition now, while future aides like special school accomidations etc are easily available? I didn't get diagnosed until I was 22 and missed out on lots of things that would have immensly helped.
He's adorable. The only thing I can suggest is to keep asking his parents gently (w/o pushing) to have him evaluated now to rule out autism. That may make it easier for them. Of course, autism may or may not be ruled out, but the goal is to get the testing done.
If not, once he starts school, the school will very likely pick up on the behavior and urge the parents to consent to an evaluation. If the parents don't agree, he will likely be treated like he has a behavior problem and not have any IDEA protections.
You will never be able to convince them of his need for evaluation. They have decided it is their fault and they can correct it. Do you know who is Dr is, and if not can you find out in some kind of roundabout discussion. You can call the Dr and tell them you think he needs evaluated and how they won't even consider it. Then when they bring him in for well child visits it will be in the back of the Drs head that there is a concern about it and he can look for the symptoms. (Someone I know had to resort to this)
You can always continue having non confrontational discussions about it and hope they will come on board. I would also bring up the fact that schools will label children without the official diagnosis, but the child will get no help from the school and will not be protected under the ADA laws.
I'm just not sure about this Aspergers thing at all. Everyone has funny quirks - is anyone really 'normal'? Is it good to attach labels to people? These days there is a medical name for every little thing. Not being derisive - just wondering if this Aspergers thing is genuine....or if its just that we are all different and slightly crazy in our own ways.
Yes aspergers is real, my son has it. And yes, everyone has their own quirks. The point of a diagnosis is to be able to get treatment for it. If you have no diagnosis, your insurance will not pay. So unless you are rich and can pay 100% out of pocket than you need the diagnosis. Of course if you have no intention of ever seeking help, you don't need a diagnosis then either. Since we are talking about aspergers, treatment for my son would consist of teaching him social skills so that he is able to make friends. This is something he struggles with. And then to top it off, he gets bullied because of his weak social skills.
I'm just not sure about this Aspergers thing at all. Everyone has funny quirks - is anyone really 'normal'? Is it good to attach labels to people? These days there is a medical name for every little thing. Not being derisive - just wondering if this Aspergers thing is genuine....or if its just that we are all different and slightly crazy in our own ways.
In that line of thinking, could you not say the same about people that are schizophrenic, or bi-polar? That they are just overly quirky?
My son has AS, and with a diagnosis and accompanying support services, has made great strides in the past few years. At 10y.o, he finally has a friend, is learning how to read social cues that are somewhat foreign to him, and organize his thoughts, behaviors and emotions in a way that will help him succeed in life. Instead of choking someone when he doesn't like what they are saying... he can just walk out of the room.
OP- I am sad for the little guy if he does have AS and they are refusing to even acknowledge the possibility. Refusing or disbelieving the possibility it doesn't make it go away, whereas early intervention and support programming would certainly help him as he gets into school age and has to rely on the social and organizational skills that many AS kids lack. Would they feel the same if he had diabetes, or some other health issue?
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