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As a parent of an ADHD child I need to vent. But suggestions and feedback is appreciated.
My son is 9 years old, going on 10 and he has ADHD. He is taking medication for his ADHD and has been for the last 3 years. I writing here because I would like some feedback from a teachers perspective.
My son attends Chicago public schools and they are known for being "bad"..in lack of better words. But I try my best to be there for my son. I help him with his homework, I try to do extra practice on the side to keep him up to standards in math and reading. Academically he is right where he should be for his grade level.
But my biggest problem is his organization. He constantly forgets to turn in assignments, homework, class work and several times a week I get a note from his teacher saying " failed to turn in hw again" or " missing 4 assignments this week".
When I ask my son about it he has no idea at first what I'm talking about. He thinks he turned it in. A couple of days ago I go to his school to pick him up in aftercare and he tells me he left his HW in the class room. I manage to find a teacher who hasn't left for the day and she is nice enough to open the class room for us so my son can collect his HW.
On his desk, the first thing I see is a large piles of papers. In his desk are more papers stuffed in with his books. I'm in chock thinking..."WTF..what is this"? So I ask my son, what are all these papers and he replies to me " they are suppose to be in my binder but my binder is full". We end up taking the papers home with us, all of them. I find 3 of his missing assignments for the week along with other missing HW and classwork his teacher has been inquiring about. When I ask him what he has been doing with all these papers while he sits at his desk in school, he tells me he just moves it down to the floor next to him.
As a teacher, and you know my child has adhd and even receives extra accommodations in school, wouldn't you react to this? My son needs structure and routine. He needs organization. I do whatever I can do at home to help him but I can't be with him at school. I am not sure what I should or can expect the teacher to do for him. All I have asked her to do so far is keeping him more accountable. I have asked her to double check that he has all his HW and assignments and that he turns it in when it's due. I would hope that before she writes me and tells me my son hasn't turned in 3 assignments this week, she would first ask my son to go through the 10 inch pile of papers on his desk. Maybe even ask him to organize it. Am I asking too much?
I realize it comes a time when the responsibility falls on the students. I get that.But my son can't handle that yet. He is not mature enough. I'd say he is 2 - 3 years behind his pears maturity wise. If it wasn't for his medication,he wouldn't be able to go get anything done at all. He is that distracted.
I think I covered most of it. I am not expecting him to have his hands held all day long, but he needs the extra attention. Don't let his test scores fool you because even though he test scores are great, he would have c and D's in everything due failure to turn his work in.
Yeah, I have a routine at home. It has changed a few times trying to find the "right" one. But I know they don't have anything like this is school. It's allot about students own responsibility which makes it really tough. But thank you for posting it.
IMHO, the teacher should (and probably did) ask him individually to turn in his HW and should (and probably did) tell him that he needs to look through his binder for his HW & organize his binder. She probably also asked him to clean & organize his desk and may have even given his extra time during another activity or reminded him several times.
Does he have an IEP or a 504 Plan?
However, other things such as assisting him in organizing his binder, or standing next to him waiting while he searches his desk for his HW, or setting up some type of chart to help him remember to turn in his homework is not something that the classroom teachers, in my area, usually do. Those types of things are usually done by the special education teachers or the classroom teacher if they required by a 504 plan.
What can you do? Make it as easy as possible for him to turn in homework. Always have him put it in the same spot (such as on the top of his "Take home/Take back to school folder". Sometimes, using a picture cue such as photograph on top of the folder of him handing a paper into his teacher (just ask to take one photograph and use it all year) or have a list of what to do when he arrives in the classroom 1. Turn in Homework 2. ... 3. ...
Good luck.
PS. It probably sounds easy & quick to just have the teacher assist your child with XYZ. After all it is "just a little" extra assistance. But remember that she is also assisting the entire class with ABCDEFG, and possibly Mary with H and Johnny with IJ and Mario & Melvin with K and Sally with L and Joe with M and Xavior with P and Bobby with Q and Henry with R etc etc etc.
Depending on the classroom there may be many, many students who need "just a little" extra assistance or attention but sometimes that can add up to so many "just a littles" that it is virtually impossible to get the actual teaching completed with the entire class.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-25-2016 at 03:37 PM..
Reason: added PS
IMHO, the teacher should (and probably did) ask him individually to turn in his HW and should (and probably did) tell him that he needs to look through his binder for his HW & organize his binder. She probably also asked him to clean & organize his desk and may have even given his extra time during another activity or reminded him several times.
Does he have an IEP or a 504 Plan?
However, other things such as assisting him in organizing his binder, or standing next to him waiting while he searches his desk for his HW, or setting up some type of chart to help him remember to turn in his homework is not something that the classroom teachers, in my area, usually do. Those types of things are usually done by the special education teachers or the classroom teacher if they required by a 504 plan.
What can you do? Make it as easy as possible for him to turn in homework. Always have him put it in the same spot (such as on the top of his "Take home/Take back to school folder". Sometimes, using a picture cue such as photograph on top of the folder of him handing a paper into his teacher (just ask to take one photograph and use it all year) or have a list of what to do when he arrives in the classroom 1. Turn in Homework 2. ... 3. ...
Good luck.
When I ask my son if the teacher is asking him about his hw, cleaning his binder, desk etc.. he says no. He does say other kids have messy desks as well so the teacher tells them all as a class to clean it up maybe 1 or 2 times per month but not directly to him. I will defiantly ask her just to make sure. She has allot of students so I can understand if it's something she doesn't "have time for"...
He does have an IEP. We have a Homework folder, Take back folder and Class Work folder for him. I'm going to have him start taking all his work with him home and not leave any papers
in school. That is how he loses his work. All I really want his teacher to do is to remind him, " do you know what your home work is, can you repeat it for me" "Is your home work in your back pack"?
Thanks for your reply. Great advice about the 123 list of things to do!
When I ask my son if the teacher is asking him about his hw, cleaning his binder, desk etc.. he says no.
If your son starts school at 9 AM and gets home at 5 PM are you totally sure that he accurately recalls whether or not his teacher asks him to turn in his HW eight hours earlier that day? Hmmm, is it possible that he may be just be forgetting or misremembering or not hearing that she has asked him those things? I am NOT suggesting that he could be lying, just I have been around elementary age students, many with ADHD, for decades and often their recall of specific events is not very strong.
When my children were nine years old it was amazing the difference between what they reported to me happened in school and what I actually saw when I observed in their classrooms.
Another thing to consider is if he tells you "No" then the responsibility (blame) goes on the teacher and if he tells you "Yes" then the responsibility (blame) falls on him instead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot
He does have an IEP. We have a Homework folder, Take back folder and Class Work folder for him. I'm going to have him start taking all his work with him home and not leave any papers
in school. That is how he loses his work. All I really want his teacher to do is to remind him, " do you know what your home work is, can you repeat it for me" "Is your home work in your back pack"?
Thanks for your reply. Great advice about the 123 list of things to do!
In the schools in my area it is usually the special education teachers who "make the rounds" of all of the classrooms to make sure that their students are set for home. You can talk to your son's special ed teacher & see if they need to help set up some type of chart or checklist for him to do at the beginning & the end of the day.
I don't know how many students are in your son's class or how many of them have special needs or have special requirements, but even in the schools in my area with an average of 22 to 24 students in 3rd or 4th grade most classroom teachers are not able to give individual reminders to all of the students who need individual reminders unless there is assistance or they really make it a part of their daily routine (possibly cutting other things out). Yes, it can be done, but depending on the make-up of the class, it may be very difficult to actually achieve.
PS. Seeing the post by the speech therapist reminded me to mention that is not always just the special ed teachers who make the rounds at the end of the day, often the classrooms are divided up and the occupational therapist, physical therapy and speech therapist may assist or "check out" all of the children with special needs/IEPs/504 Plans who are in the same classroom or a classroom near their last student of the day.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-25-2016 at 04:44 PM..
Reason: added PS.
If you could, would you mind writing out his IEP goals/accommodations for those of us who do work with students with special needs? Do not include his name. That way we could perhaps get a better picture of what his day should be like. I currently work with some special needs students in a middle school and I have two ADHD students and organization is a huge challenge. I work on it constanty and I am the Speech Pathologist.
All I really want his teacher to do is to remind him, " do you know what your home work is, can you repeat it for me" "Is your home work in your back pack"?
I have several students that I pose this question to every day. Often, they tell me yes, when the answer is no. If I ask to see it, sometimes they will show it to me, then put it somewhere else.
Reading your post... it reminds of the struggle I had with one of my own students that had ADHD and was on medication (but didn't have an IEP). On the teacher side of it, I feel like I had tried a million accommodations, but nothing seemed to be 'sticking' with the student. I tried having a specific color coded and labeled homework folder, creating their own storage bin that allows them to spread their items out to sort through them better, texting and emailing homework assignments to the parents, checking their filled out assignment book, creating an incentive chart for the student that makes sure they come to school prepared, have an organized desk, have all materials out of the lockers, have their book bag packed up, etc. (I monitor their progress throughout the day...they have to get 4 out of 5 checks per day to get an incentive at the end of the week), and they had to bring their book bag up at the end of the day so I can make sure they have all materials needed before they go home. My student wouldn't turn anything in unless I hovered over them and waited for them to find it (turning in homework with the rest of the class rarely happened because a few seconds afterwards they would move on to another task and forget they were even looking).
I agree with the others about checking to see if the spec. ed. teacher could check-in at the end of the day to make sure assignment books are filled out and papers are where they should be. From my own experience, I could remind my previous student multiple times to put their homework or a certain book in their book bag, but unless I pulled them aside and watched them do it, it wasn't going home. My student didn't have an IEP so I didn't get the extra help, however I set up a plan with the parents to meet with the student for 5 minutes after the rest of the students were released just to make sure that their book bag was packed.
My previous student is now in middle school and continues to have the same problems with staying organized and bringing home the appropriate materials, despite trying to model responsibility and the routine. On the teacher-end, I would bet your child's teacher feels just as frustrated.
I know my teacher is trying. She is also new, only her third year teaching. And it's very possible she is asking him, he just don't remember.
The only reason he gets special accommodations is because he gets medication in school. That is school requirement. But academically he really don't need it. Last year during standardized testing he scored highest in his class, higher than state average even. Same with his reading. He is very book smart. But I don't think he above average intelligence, he is where he should be. Just so immature and distracted all the time. He does turn in some homework but he also misses allot. And the mess of papers on his desk in school is certainly not helping him.
I am trying everyday with my son. I will never give up. I hope some day things will get better with him. My husband had the same problem growing up and he is doing very well now as an adult.
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