25 favorite ways to annoy a Yankee in Texas.... (credit, school)

[scongress1234]

[SIZE=3]
1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.
3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses them no end!
4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
7. Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."
8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.
9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)
11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."
12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".
13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can".
14. Put Tabasco on everything.
15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.
17. Name all of your children "Bubba".
18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.
19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it's not a "pond", it's a "tank."
20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.
21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of 'em.
23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP.
Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "
24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend. 25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time! (Just a joke, folks! Some of my best friends are - - - - - - - ) (Edited from one sent to us on the internet. - Author Unknown) [/SIZE]

[Muhnay]

Heh Ask TexasReb how I annoy him.. that should be just as funny asthe list you have here. =)

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I like to use the word fixin, not just as "do you have the fixins for the barbeque tonight" but also "I'm fixin to get up and put the steaks on".

OR another conversation stopper with Yankees is "How ya'll doin?"

I get a real kick out of the Yanks that move here to Florida. I call em Yankees then make fun of how friendly this hot and humid weather has gotten them to be. Then I tell them that before long, they'll be eatin grits and talking like the rest of us.

[TexasReb]

Originally Posted by Muhnay

Heh Ask TexasReb how I annoy him.. that should be just as funny asthe list you have here. =)

LOL Welll, lemme me count the ways...as the old classic literary cliche' goes!

Actually though, seems like lately we agree on much more than not!

What do you reckon, Muhnay, is that to your credit or mine? *grins with Texas good humor*

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Scongress, I like your playful side much better than your serious side I laughed so hard over this thread!

[blueskies49]

Originally Posted by muhnay

heh Ask Texasreb How I Annoy Him.. That Should Be Just As Funny Asthe List You Have Here. =)

:d :d

[Jezer]

Only 25 ways- come on!

Love this one- 20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.

Love that expression!

[case44]

Regarding number 14 (the one that says to put tabasco on everything), that might not be a bad idea if I just happen to go out to eat with a northerner (if it happens anytime soon). Unless we go get donuts or something, I should be just fine when the moment comes for his/her "reaction".

[TXRyan23]

So in otherwords, to annoy a northerner, just act like a redneck...

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Originally Posted by FutureTexan

So in otherwords, to annoy a northerner, just act like a redneck...

We've got plenty of rednecks up here in the North! I'm used to them