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Originally Posted by PA2UK
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It depends where in the Outer Banks that fits the OP's criteria.
The area around Nags Head / Kitty Hawk / Kill Devil Hills has a lot more hotels and more of a nightlife scene (not huge, no, but it is there).
My recommendation to the OP would be up in the northern Outer Banks in Duck, which seems to be up your alley:
- Houses only (except for the one hotel - The Sanderling).
- No public beach access (i.e., no parking lots for the beach - the only people on the beach are the ones staying in houses in Duck who walk down to the sand).
- There is a bike path that runs along the side of the one main (2-lane) road in Duck and it is more of a walking / biking area with people walking to the various little stores and shops there, and walking to and from the beach.
- While there are several restaurants with bars that are open later in the evenings, like Aqua or Sunset Grille (at the latter, go for the view, avoid the food), it is not a loud, nightlife/party scene.
- All of the houses only rent to what they call "family units" - which really has nothing to do with marital status or the makeup of the adults (and/or kids) in a rental house, it is just their clause to avoid renting houses to groups of college kids coming down to party
If you want off-the-beaten-path, there is also Ocracoke Island. A small village that can get a a fair number of day tourists, but most are there to walk around the little village, so the beaches are not crowded (heck, you can find whole stretches of beach all to yourself) and then clear out by dinner time. You will have to drive / bike / take a golf cart for several minutes to get out of the village to the beaches, but they are beautiful - some magazine put them in their top-10 beaches a year or two back, and there was a reason for it.
My best friend took me to the Outer Banks in 1990 when we were 19 - I've been back almost every Summer since. We used to stay in KDH, but once we went up to Duck several years ago, we keep returning there. One of my favorite spots in the country.