Thoughts on my concerns about a move to Phoenix or Tucson -50yo professional and 24yo son. (Mesa: buying a house)

[spumoni]

I'm going to explain a little about myself to give some context to this post.

50 year old educated professional and single father to a 24yo son with learning disabilities who lives with me.
I'm from the Northeast and have lived in the Northeast all of my life. I'm single and gay. Have my own successful business which I can work from anywhere (although I do plan to have a local office as I do prefer in-person interactions with people).

Over the past 4 months I have done three trips to Tucson and three to Phoenix, with the intention of moving, buying a house, etc. Here's what I've learned during this trips, as well as my concerns.

Tucson
No question I like Tucson more than Phoenix, I quickly fell in love with Tucson. I find it charming, I like the "grit" and character of the city. The size is manageable, I've always liked University towns. The neighborhoods where I'd want to buy are Sam Hughes and Blenman-Elm, possibly West University. I can afford a house there.

My concerns about Tucson:
-It may be very limiting for me socially as a single gay guy my age. I've been told the gay population in Tucson skews older (over 55) and younger (under 30). That being said, I have never been connected to the "gay world", most of my friends are not gay. It does seem the dating options for professional gay men around my age in Tucson are very limited.
-I currently live in a small beach town, and can't stand the close minded, small town mentality here. I've been told that outside of that University bubble Tucson will have the same small town mentality. I don't know how accurate that is.
-My son wants to go into the construction/carpentry field, I'm concerned about the lack of opportunities in Tucson, compared to Phoenix

My concerns about Phoenix:
-I don't like it as much as Tucson, that's the biggest one.
-While I realize I can always sell my house I'm concerned that with the growth Phoenix will become more overcrowded, worse traffic and is on a trajectory to feel more and more like Los Angeles.

At this point, I'm learning towards Phoenix solely for the reasons I mentioned, it just so happens that my heart is in Tucson.

Thanks for your feedback.

[grmi66]

I'd get a house in Sam Hughes in a heartbeat, it's a great neighborhood. Always has been and I can't see it ever changing.

Can't speak to dating for gay men, but when my wife met me she joked that she had to move up to Phoenix to find a decent middle aged professional man to date. Once she found me, we got married and she moved us back. The pool of single professional men of all stripes is simply smaller in Tucson.

As for your son, I've heard that all trades people are backlogged for work here in Tucson. What we do lack (and I only know because I have friends in this line of work) are high end cabinet and fine detail carpentry shops. Most of those are in Phoenix to service Paradise Valley and Scottsdale.

[steiconi]

You didn't list your pros for Phoenix, just cons for Tucson. How confident are you that Phoenix will fulfil those needs?
How important are they?

Most small town problems seem to stem from everybody knowing your business.
Tucson is a big town, with half a million residents.
Especially as a newcomer, you should be able to avoid the busybodies. I haven't had such problems in the four years I've been here.

We wandered all over Arizona before choosing Tucson. Phoenix was never under consideration.

[spumoni]

Originally Posted by steiconi

You didn't list your pros for Phoenix, just cons for Tucson. How confident are you that Phoenix will fulfil those needs?
How important are they?

Most small town problems seem to stem from everybody knowing your business.
Tucson is a big town, with half a million residents.
Especially as a newcomer, you should be able to avoid the busybodies. I haven't had such problems in the four years I've been here.

We wandered all over Arizona before choosing Tucson. Phoenix was never under consideration.

The pros for Phoenix it has what a major city offers in terms of opportunities workwise for my son, and socially. I'm not concerned about busybodies, I'm concerned about a potential lack of opportunities in Tucson

[Adamson865]

It's not like we ship off all the 30 and 40-somethings for a couple decades and only admit them back with proof of a Medicare card.

[Bygeorge]

From other posts as far back as 2017 you have wanted to relocate. At age 50 you love Tucson. So pull the trigger and move to Tucson. If after a couple of years you decide you don’t like it, move to Phoenix. I am considerably older than you are and I can tell you that the years will catch up to you and you will wish you had made other decisions based on what you want and need. Your kid can do okay in either place.

Good luck to you.

[jlawrence01]

Originally Posted by spumoni

My concerns about Phoenix:
-I don't like it as much as Tucson, that's the biggest one.
-While I realize I can always sell my house I'm concerned that with the growth Phoenix will become more overcrowded, worse traffic and is on a trajectory to feel more and more like Los Angeles.

At this point, I'm learning towards Phoenix solely for the reasons I mentioned, it just so happens that my heart is in Tucson.

Thanks for your feedback.

Unlike most of the US where the interstates were completed in the 1960s and 1970s, Phoenix's freeways have been completed in the past 20 years. They are wide, well designed and are easy to navigate.

Getting around Tucson is a complete PITA. You are always on congested arterials although sometimes there are shortcuts that can cut your commute time.

If I had to choose between the two, I would live in the Mesa area, southeast of Tucson.