New in Utah and seeking friends near Sandy (Salt Lake City, Orem: to rent, how much)

[SandyTransplant]

Hello,
I'm new to this forum and new in Utah. I found this site an invaluable resource when my husband accepted a job offer here and we moved within weeks from the Midwest. We chose to rent for a year while we got to know the area better and ended up in Sandy.
My husband and I are in our mid-40's and have 5 kiddos. We are not religious, and we smoke and drink and use profanity. We are also open-minded, educated, and friendly people. This combination has never prohibited us from making friends in other places but it seems that we might have to be more proactive in seeking like-minded individuals here. We don't need a large social circle but enjoy having friends over for beer and BBQ on occasion. A child of East Coasters, I was born in CA and raised in the Midwest. My husband is from Texas and we're very "live and let live" folks.
Our kids (18, 15, 13, 11, 7) seem to be adjusting well in school but don't have friends outside of school. I'm most interested in finding options for our youngest daughter as she had many close friends in our old neighborhood and thus far is struggling. She has lots of friends at school, but when she tried to give them our contact info to get together after hours they all refused to take it.
I found a group on Meetup but they mostly are young mothers with very young children so I'm trying to explore other avenues.
I hope this posting is within the acceptable bounds of these Forums. I've read many postings here and notice a few people suggesting that newcomers meet but most of the replies seem fairly old so I wanted to see if there is anyone currently in the area who might be interested in meeting a new family.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and have a great day!

[SandyTransplant]

To clarify, we are not big partiers, smoke outside only, and are very careful and respectful of other people's lifestyles and viewpoints. I was just laying it all out there We are professionals with morals and values and are raising well-adjusted and well-mannered children....just a normal couple with friends of all religions and backgrounds hoping to meet others.

[dcisive]

What you are asking for would not be unresonable in most areas of the country. Here....well the pickings will be no doubt slimmer. On average most don't drink much and Utah has the lowest number of smokers in the country. It will be interesting to see how you do attracting some like minded folks over there in Sandy. I've heard all kinds of comments on this board from many whose children have had less than great acceptance from the largely LDS community. Over on our end of town I'm in a town (Herriman) that I'd dare say is likely 90% or more LDS. We are the only non LDS other than our immediate neighbor, in pretty nearly the entire neighborhood. We also don't have children. So we are truly a cork in the ocean. My wife has a few friends she has had in the neighborhood for several years, and they certainly treat her respectfully. I typically am not around to socialize walking around much so don't know any guys as they typically are indeed all LDS. I have friends I see on the weekends out of the area a bit so it's no big deal. It's a far cry from the experiences I've had growing up in the Midwest as well as when we lived in California, as you say it mattered not what religion you were to say the least as there typically wasn't a completely predominant religion in the first place. We socialized quite often most weekends with others that were likeminded most of which also happened to not have children as well so we had adult gatherings. I rather miss those days, but it's just something I live with.

[CCSLC]

While there are certainly families that fit your description living in Sandy, I have no idea how you'd find them. You are much more likely to find families "more like yours" closer to Salt Lake City proper. You will likely have to sacrifice "nearby" and start seeking friends outside the suburbs.

[CraigCreek]

Check out scout troops, public library activities for kids, parks and recreation summer programs, perhaps summer camps, music lessons, swimming lessons, art lessons, Little League and/or Youth Soccer - whatever interests your children.

For yourself and your husband, see if there are meet-up groups, garden clubs, bridge groups, hiking clubs or continuing education evening classes in whatever topics or activities you enjoy. How about volunteering at local museums or historic houses or nature centers? Volunteers may be welcome at your children's schools, too (just keep a lid on that "colorful" vocabulary). Is there a Newcomers' Club in Sandy?

You're going to have to look outside the LDS box to find like-minded friends, it appears.

[csumom2]

Wow, I wish I had read this when me and my boyfriend lived in Utah. He was transferred there by his company for a power plant project in Utah County, and that is where we lived.

It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I also partake in the activities you described, am in my early 40s, I have two grown daughters though, so I really don't do the kid thing anymore, I was born and raised in California and lived in the Midwest for a while. And we now live in Texas, as his job moved us again. I would have been glad to meet you, as we had the same issue...however we lived in Orem (Utah County) which is A lot more conservative than Sandy. With the exception of a few of my boyfriends coworkers, who were also from out of the area...there was no one to have a beer or glass of wine with, laugh with in the backyard, go out and do things with, etc...

I have no advice on the kid thing, it sounds like your daughter is not having a great time. I can't believe that not even one kid would take your daughter's phone number!! This may be parental influence, as some children here, from what I've heard, are very sheltered in their communities, and tend to stick with their own social groups and are wary of newcomers. Sad, really....

I found the people here to be friendly enough, but I really had nothing in common with them, and my contact with co workers, neighbors, etc...never really got beyond the pleasantries stages. I tried the meetup groups online, but I also found that most of them consisted of mommy groups, religious groups, etc....

You may want to try exploring Salt Lake City more, since it is generally more liberal than some places. You may have to dig, but you may find some more liberal groups online. As one suggested, maybe enroll in community college, volunteer somewhere, or possibly find maybe a bar and grill to go to on Fridays, and befriend some of the regulars.

I wish you luck and hope you find it a little more entertaining than we did.

[neenawb1]

Hi! I can relate. My family and I are going through a very similar situation since moving to Sandy from Orlando 3 months ago. The transition has been extremely difficult for my myself and 3 children ages 9, 15 and 17. It was a difficult decision to move cross country having high schoolers, but it was a career decision that my husband and I couldn't refuse. My children are having such a tough time fitting in here. I think I'm still in shock being here. Wouldn't mind comparing stories with you!! Feel free to reach out [email]neenawb1@gmail.com[/email]. We are living near Dimple Dell. Maybe our kids even attend the same schools

[SandyTransplant]

I am very grateful to each of you for taking the time to share your thoughts, personal experiences, and suggestions. I will definitely explore some of these avenues! Neena, I sent you an email and I look forward to connecting.

[jensi22]

Originally Posted by neenawb1

Hi! I can relate. My family and I are going through a very similar situation since moving to Sandy from Orlando 3 months ago. The transition has been extremely difficult for my myself and 3 children ages 9, 15 and 17. It was a difficult decision to move cross country having high schoolers, but it was a career decision that my husband and I couldn't refuse. My children are having such a tough time fitting in here. I think I'm still in shock being here. Wouldn't mind comparing stories with you!! Feel free to reach out neenawb1@gmail.com. We are living near Dimple Dell. Maybe our kids even attend the same schools

Neena,
Hopefully things have gotten better but if you are still having a tough time, perhaps change schools. Not sure if you are LDS but if not, you may want to try Juan Diego. Not everyone is catholic, but most are transient so the kids are used to getting new students every year and look forward to meeting newcomers. Unfortunately we are also used to students leaving because of job transfers. I too live in Sandy but enrolled my kids in JD as soon as we moved and it was an instant family. My kids made friends right away from all over. It's a very small community, 6 years later I might say a little too small, but very welcoming of new people and there is so much to get involved in. Do your kids play sports? That's the other area that I've met a lot of my friends. Utah is a little tougher as in the fact that people are born and raised here so they have their built in family and friends. You have to do a little more work but you will find people like yourself. I am surprised how much I love living here, even though I came kicking and screaming 6 years ago!

[ChrystleMoon]

Hi there i know this post is a little dated but i would love to connect with you. Please email me at chrystlemoon@gmail.com