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Interracial dating between Black women and White men or White men and Hispanic women is rare in DC. From what I've seen, most of the immigrant Central American women are much more ethnocentric and adverse to interracial dating than Black women. I think it is because most of the Central American women are recent immigrants who aren't Americanized at all, unlike Mexicans on the West Coast or Puerto Ricans above the Mason Dixon line. If you want to get with Black or Hispanic women in DC, you better be one cool White dude. By "cool" meaning you have to be cosmopolitan and comfortable around all groups of people. Many native Whites in the DC area coexist and share sidewalk space and may even frequent the same nightlife areas and hangouts with Black and Hispanic folks in DC yet they exist in another alternate dimension where they never actually socialize with people of different races. But most of the segregation in DC seems more like an outdated custom more than an actual hateful prejudice. DC is a very mature city in this regard. If you want to see intense hateful segregation take a trip to Baltimore.
But ultimately, many non-White women in the DC area are exclusively attracted to White men. You can scan the profiles of local single women in the DC area on dating sites for proof.
I'm not White or Black and I'm mixed. I am Asian, White and Hispanic, but I can pass for many different races including straight up White to certain people. Because I've always been a token, I am comfortable everywhere I go and can relate to all different types of people. Since I am mixed and the way I grew up, I know that people are just people and that it is not all that different on the other side of the fence. People who date interracially are aware of this as well. I have met and dated a bunch of Black women in DC. However, my appeal is that I am different from most of the guys in DC. I look, talk, walk and dress differently than DC natives and yuppie residents. All of this mystique is appealing to many Black women in the District. That is not to say I don't strike out sometimes because I do like any guy. Also, the fact that I am a round peg in a square conservative city works to my disadvantage just as much as it does to my advantage in terms of dating any women in DC. It's a gamble. Even though I stand out in a crowd at most DC bars, clubs, concerts and functions, I am very comfortable with my surroundings because I have experienced the vibe of life on both coasts in the city and the suburbs and have lived in the DC Area for many years. Also, DC is a pretty laid-back city where people mind their own business. I guess it also stems from the fact that I have been around Black folks my whole life. I was born and raised in a Black enclave in the cosmopolitan city of San Francisco, albeit it was a Black neighborhood 3,000 miles away. Ultimately, race is meaningless to me. If you are able to get along with people of all different backgrounds, you can date all different types of women. At the end of the day, DC is a cosmopolitan city. Who cares what dating trends are like in DC. You just have to be that cool guy that breaks the mold. After all, that is exactly the type of guy I am. All of the Black women I dated in DC told me that "I wasn't their type, but I quickly grew on them" and that they were glad they stepped out of their comfort zone and gave me a chance because I gave them something different, refreshing and unique. You can be this guy too.
Bravo! Finally a diamond amidst the rough that is this discussion thread. Awesome post, brother. Not just for dating but a good outlook for everyday life, too!
Last edited by mikeyo321; 04-12-2011 at 02:34 PM..
Maybe it's 1/99 in pleasantville North Dakota, but I don't think we're much different than your typical major city.
Apparently Pittsburgh, PA = Pleasantville, ND (or we're an atypical major city). I attempted for a year-and-a-half to find a mate in Metro DC to no avail because everyone I tried to court was terribly shallow. There was just something "off" about me either in physical appearance, personality, or, more importantly, status, to just about everyone I was rejected by time after time. As soon as I moved to Pittsburgh there was practically a Neanderthal-like scene of guys clubbing one another like cavemen to get me to date them. I don't consider myself to be a terrible catch. I'm a few crunches away from six-pack abs, I'm very politically-, culturally-, and intellectually-oriented, I'm altruistic, I'm trustworthy, and I'm ambitious with plans to eventually run for elected office. I open car doors for others, buy surprise gifts and leave them in mailboxes or on doorsteps, and I embellish and flatter my mates when introducing them to friends. That still "wasn't good enough" for guy after guy in DC, yet these qualities were viewed more favorably in the MUCH less shallow dating pool of Pittsburgh. In DC all I ended up with was a regrettable series of random sexual encounters over the year-and-a-half I lived there. In Pittsburgh I had my pick of three suitors, none of whom saw me as being just a piece of tail, which is what I felt like in DC. For as much of a "gay mecca" as DC was once you factored in the number of single gays who were only concerned about sex or status the dating pool really narrowed.
So, yes, from not only my personal observations and experiences but from others I know as well people in many other cities tend to be more willing to compromise and "settle" when searching for a mate whereas in DC there were lots of miserable single 30-somethings and 40-somethings who were chronically looking for a "Mr. Right" or "Ms. Right" who just didn't exist. I sit here now in Pittsburgh and just laugh at those single 30-somethings or older who whine about being lonely because nine out of ten of them likely rejected someone who WOULD have been a good (albeit not a "smashing slam dunk") catch at an earlier time over something trivial. I look at the train wreck lifestyles of some of the guys who rejected me down there, and for a change of pace I can smile inwardly, knowing I'm doing better for myself now and knowing that they would have been much better off if they hadn't rejected me for such minor reasons.
I look at the train wreck lifestyles of some of the guys who rejected me down there, and for a change of pace I can smile inwardly, knowing I'm doing better for myself now and knowing that they would have been much better off if they hadn't rejected me for such minor reasons.
I can't comment on the men you're talking about, but as a female, you're not going to be doing any "better" as you get older. Women may be attracted to high-status successful men, but men generally don't give a rat about your job or success. Blame biology and evolution.
A woman's primary asset for attracting a mate plummets after her 20's. C'est la vie.
Apparently Pittsburgh, PA = Pleasantville, ND (or we're an atypical major city). I attempted for a year-and-a-half to find a mate in Metro DC to no avail because everyone I tried to court was terribly shallow. There was just something "off" about me either in physical appearance, personality, or, more importantly, status, to just about everyone I was rejected by time after time. As soon as I moved to Pittsburgh there was practically a Neanderthal-like scene of guys clubbing one another like cavemen to get me to date them.
I attribute the relative differences in your experiences to the fact that you moved to the Mighty Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the greatest State in the Union.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteelCityRising
In DC all I ended up with was a regrettable series of random sexual encounters over the year-and-a-half I lived there. In Pittsburgh I had my pick of three suitors, none of whom saw me as being just a piece of tail, which is what I felt like in DC. For as much of a "gay mecca" as DC was once you factored in the number of single gays who were only concerned about sex or status the dating pool really narrowed.
My posts are limited to the straight dating experience. I'm not really surprised that was your experience here though. To put it bluntly, I don't personally know a gay guy in DC under 35 that isn't a wh*re. No offense or judgement meant, as I love the gay community and was a wh*re myself, but that's my honest observation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteelCityRising
I don't consider myself to be a terrible catch. I'm a few crunches away from six-pack abs, I'm very politically-, culturally-, and intellectually-oriented, I'm altruistic, I'm trustworthy, and I'm ambitious with plans to eventually run for elected office.
Yeah, I think we run in completely different social crowds anyway. I'm more of the beer gut, no-politics-outside-the-office, culturally insensitive, intellectually blunt, realist, dive bar, sports-going crowd.
My main point in these threads is that most people in DC are not shallow, status-obsessed monsters and there are plenty of social scenes for everyone to be successful in life and love.
I can't comment on the men you're talking about, but as a female, you're not going to be doing any "better" as you get older. Women may be attracted to high-status successful men, but men generally don't give a rat about your job or success. Blame biology and evolution.
A woman's primary asset for attracting a mate plummets after her 20's. C'est la vie.
Wow, that's depressing. Just as I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate a guy lumping you in with a broad category you don't fit into I wouldn't go around saying "A woman's primary asset for attracting a mate plummets after her 20's." Maybe it is if you don't put in the work to develop yourself emotionally, intellectually and spiritually as you get older. For me, young immature women relying on the looks alone without personality or character get on my nerves FAR more than they attract me (and I've known some pretty stunning PHYSICAL beauties). On top of that, a woman in her 30s or 40s (I'm in my early thirties myself) who takes care of herself in ALL ways and has a more natural, HEALTHY look will grab a much higher caliber of man over a self-absorbed, trend-obsessed 20something. Basically, you'll usually attract good guys who are less shallow if you have more to offer yourself.
Smoke @
"As far as DC women being 'inhuman', they're different than what most men are used to. Here they're ambitious, smart, confident, and don't take b.s. "
Yep. Noticed that right away. This is a big reason why I like the area.
"As far as DC women being 'inhuman', they're different than what most men are used to. Here they're ambitious, smart, confident, and don't take b.s. "
If by that you mean "fashion-blind and mannish", then I agree. The average DC 5 thinks she's a 7, a 7 thinks she's a 9, and 9's are rarer than diamonds.
I am serious. I think the quality of straight women in this city has an edge on the quality of straight men. I came here as a bottom of the barrel admin assistant, and my guy friends were in the same place, and we had great dating experiences as a result of the surplus of attractive, smart women.
You're in the right place if you're looking for the "it's not me, it's the other 2,000,000 people" line, though.
Assuming the physical stats listed in your profile are not an embellishment, it's a no-brainer why you were/are successful meeting/dating/hooking up with women in DC, regardless of your job title: you're six-foot seven, dude. My apologies if you were just being facetious, though.
Assuming the physical stats listed in your profile are not an embellishment, it's a no-brainer why you were/are successful meeting/dating/hooking up with women in DC, regardless of your job title: you're six-foot seven, dude. My apologies if you were just being facetious, though.
I think my graduate degree in rex kwon do is the real deal-sealer.
I think my graduate degree in rex kwon do is the real deal-sealer.
I mean, I just hung out with another white dude who's 6'6", so I didn't think it was out of the question.
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