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Warrenton to Bethesda is probably close to 60 miles or so. During anytime even remotely close to rush hour, its going to suck. Centreville would help. The church thing.... I imagine you have your reasons, but I'd suggest finding a local church instead of a 2+ hour roundtrip bonanza, but to each his own.
Most notably... the distances you are talking are significant in a city with no traffic - 40, 50, 60 miles - each way (!)... DC has traffic by the metric ton.
You also didnt mention anything about budget, and frankly, with 3 kids (+medical bills), I'd really caution you that the area can be extremely expensive. You may want to put budget at the top of your list of issues and have your wife deal with a 1+ hour trip 3x a week rather than shave 20% off her commute but add 60% to your costs. The closer to DC you get, the more prices go into stratospheric categories.
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