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I am newly single, black, and 28. I am college educated with two degrees (not wealthy, but I do well financially). I live alone in large apartment in an affluent neighborhood. I recently moved to the area and want to erase that single status.
I have gotten six ladies' (ages 27 through 40 and all black) phone numbers over the few months since I've been here. Never been shot down, I generally just let women ask me out. Details below:
1 27 YO - Good chemistry on first date, but I don't think she has her stuff together. Still living with her mother and uses her mother's car to get around. She could also class it up a bit. I don't think will go anywhere.
2 34 YO - We clicked immediately and went out on several dates. Her craziness and possessiveness came out quick and strong. I cut her off because it was too weird.
3 40 YO - She asked for my number, but will only text. Text messages consist of her newfound chastity (which is ok with me because there's probably a long backstory there), how handsome/young I am, and boring small talk. Can't get a date with her after texting on and off for a month. Cutting communication today.
4 32 YO - Apparently works for some congressperson. I called and left a message to set up our first date and never got an answer. Tried a follow-up a week later, still no answer.
5 29 YO - Works for Louis Vuitton. I got her number while picking up a suit. We scheduled a date and 10 AM the morning of the date, she cancelled saying she was sick and wasn't going into work and wanted a rain check. I followed-up a week later, no response.
6 Unknown age - Assuming 30. Got her number at the gym and we set up a date. She cancelled at 5:30 PM on a Saturday, two hours before our date saying she was tired. I let that slide even though that's B.S because we confirmed the date at 3:00 PM. I gave it two weeks and asked whether she still wanted to go out. No response.
My best friend here is white and he's been with the same girl for years. He doesn't really know what the dating scene is like, but he did tell me 4-6 above is called ghosting. News to me, I've never been shot down, stood-up, or "ghosted" until I moved here. It's rather aggravating. Why give or offer your number if you don't plan on going out? Just a waste of time and effort. It would be easier to just say no if you weren't actually interested.
Where can I meet sensible, independent, intelligent women? Most people here are college-educated, so I mean "actually intelligent." I don't discriminate, but my primary experience is with black, hispanic, and african women along with some biracial women across all shades. I don't smoke or drink, but if you're responsible do you. I also don't use online dating or dance (not a fan of clubs).
Someone point me in the right direction. Thank you.
The DC area is excellent for meeting smart, intelligent and educated women of all ages and races.
My harsh advice to you is to stop being so trivial in your assessment of these women. You are dismissing people for very shallow and petty reasons like the car they drive and texting vs. calling. All things that an change within a day or week.
But this kind of nonsense is common in cities like DC and NYC where people have too many options. They become absurdly selective to the point of being counter productive. Both genders are equally guilty.
I can say all this because I was the same way for a long time. Then I realized you will never find perfection AND I realized every relationship doesn't have be "the one". You can date people and just live in the moment and enjoy it and see where it goes. That's when I really started to enjoy my dating life here.
From my experience, it takes time to warm up to people. So you have to give them a real chance before you say "forget this". Sometimes what looks like a red flag ends up being exactly what you need. None of us want to get hurt, but there is really no way to know if someone is a good match for you after just knowing them for a few days or weeks. I've also learned that preferring to text vs. call says absolutely nothing about who a person is. Experience has tough me that. I've dated a lot of women here.
I think you misunderstood me a little bit. I don't think i'm being shallow.
The texter, I dont mind. I actually prefer texting. However, its been like a month and a half. How much can you text with someone you met once for two minutes. You literally run out of stuff to say. She just compliments my looks, but hasn't agreed to go out (like "yeah we'll link" up several times) so I stopped asking.
The other one: my ex didn't have a car for the first three years of our relationship. So material things aren't the top priority. I just think when you're pushing 30 you shouldn't be supported by your parents. Place to live, transportation, clothes etc... I don't need help financially, but I figure what can you bring to the table if you don't have a table of your own. If the roles were reversed and I said i'm 28, I live in my mom's basement, and she buys my clothes, and I borrowed her car to come to this date and I have to fill the gas tank all the way up before I return it, any woman doing anything with her life would say "check please." I personally don't want to be a babysitter or sugardaddy to anyone much less a grown woman a few months younger than me.
CB what do you think now?
If there are any ladies out there, let me know what you think.
I think you misunderstood me a little bit. I don't think i'm being shallow.
The texter, I dont mind. I actually prefer texting. However, its been like a month and a half. How much can you text with someone you met once for two minutes. You literally run out of stuff to say. She just compliments my looks, but hasn't agreed to go out (like "yeah we'll link" up several times) so I stopped asking.
The other one: my ex didn't have a car for the first three years of our relationship. So material things aren't the top priority. I just think when you're pushing 30 you shouldn't be supported by your parents. Place to live, transportation, clothes etc... I don't need help financially, but I figure what can you bring to the table if you don't have a table of your own. If the roles were reversed and I said i'm 28, I live in my mom's basement, and she buys my clothes, and I borrowed her car to come to this date and I have to fill the gas tank all the way up before I return it, any woman doing anything with her life would say "check please." I personally don't want to be a babysitter or sugardaddy to anyone much less a grown woman a few months younger than me.
CB what do you think now?
If there are any ladies out there, let me know what you think.
Gotcha.
Well to meet the type of women you're looking for your best bet is probably weekday happy hours. Avoid anything late night Friday/Saturday. That will consist mainly of early 20's people from the suburbs and tourists/visitors. You'll find a better crowd at upscale lounges and hotel bars during happy hours during the week (5pm - 7pm).
At least that's been my experience. You can also check out meetup groups and local cultural events related to your interests. The Maryland and Virginia suburbs are very racially diverse also. Don't be afraid to check them out for happy hours, events, etc. too.
Ghosting is very common here. Basically women will dehumanize you if you are not their type and discard you like trash once they lose interest. When you get ghosted consider yourself lucky for dodging a bullet. Such a rude woman is probably not worth dating. Its been said that you can judge a person's character based on how they treat people who they don't want or need anything from.
Any venues in particular, especially now with this "tough DC winter"? Haha. A lot of people bring up Park with mixed reviews. Some say it's nice. Other say it's ghetto and avoid at all costs. Same with Marvin.
Any venues in particular, especially now with this "tough DC winter"? Haha. A lot of people bring up Park with mixed reviews. Some say it's nice. Other say it's ghetto and avoid at all costs. Same with Marvin.
Marvin and Park are definitely ghetto-ish. Not full blown ghetto as you won't feel unsafe there.
I'm reluctant to suggest venues because so much depends on the day, time of day, weather, and promotions/events going on. Crowds can be inconsistent. Better to focus on neighborhoods. For happy hours I suggest:
*Chinatown
*Shaw
*U Street
*14th street
*Columbia Heights
*Adams Morgan
*Dupont
Georgetown is very snobby but still worth checking out just for the experience.
Location: That star on your map in the middle of the East Coast, DMV
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Social media bro, it is mans best friend in this day and age, use your saavy to your advantage is all I'll say.
If your not into the media that much go to a spot like Saint Yves, or Sax lounge Wednesday's, Gryphon, Rosebar, Park on 14th etc. Pickings will become even more plentiful as the weather warms up.
Social media bro, it is mans best friend in this day and age, use your saavy to your advantage is all I'll say.
If your not into the media that much go to a spot like Saint Yves, or Sax lounge Wednesday's, Gryphon, Rosebar, Park on 14th etc. Pickings will become even more plentiful as the weather warms up.
Yep, around St. Patricks day people gradually start going out more. January and February is cold and dead compared to other months.
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Re :cb
