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EastMeetsWest7...Clearly, you didn't fit in Bellingham. I mean, it's just that simple.
I have been to Bellingham at least 20 times ... I have eaten in its restaurants, drank coffee at various coffeehouses, seen its downtown when everybody's walking around at night, and shopped at both downtown and on Meridian, in its hinterlands. I've even window-shopped cars and wound up talking to salespeople in the process.
I once had what seemed to be an opportunity present itself while living in Seattle. The gentleman said that, if the interview and the fit were successful, I'd have to move there. Well, yes, one can't commute 82 miles each way. Based on what I had seen in my numerous stops, I did not pursue the opportunity. The decision was visceral and immediate. If Seattle was "questionable," then Bellingham would have been "out of the question."
One interesting study would be the retention rate of college towns to which people who are not students, not on the faculty, and not a part of the community arbitrarily move. I think that, for those outside those demographic categories, the assimilation would be unduly difficult.
I don't quite understand how Eastmeetswest ended up at a bar if the type of people he finds there aren't compatible with him. I took a look at a lot of posters on windows on my walks in B'ham. Looked like quite a few interesting events. One place I found really interesting was the village square in Fairhaven. And the whole neighborhood is interesting to walk through. By the way, does Sierra Club have a chapter. I've been receiving their magazines for years. And thru that and friends who were socially active, I know that Sierra chapters are always doing healthy outdoor things. Are there any amateur sports leagues? In my area, we actually have a cricket league for the foreign students who come from South Asia. Also, there are a few socially-oriented singing groups. Probably about 30 years that a Sacred Harp group has been active. It is for shape note singing nuts. Anyway, not to beat a dead horse, but this is the kind of thinking that leads away from the lifestyle of spending every Friday night drinking. It also occurs to me to wonder if the U there doesn't sponsor a chess club. It is a small town, but I saw lots of Asians, and they tend to gravitate to games like chess. I have a couple offriends here who belong to the Scrabble underground. I caught a tiny glimpse one time when they went off for a weekend tournament. If I were a big city refugee, and I were that wild about scrabble, I might advertise for people for scrabble nights. My sister-in-law in Grand Forks belongs to a really hard core trivia league. I do that sometimes (or did) for a while, but what I encountered was tame. Up in Grand Forks (another isolated town) they are fierce, I guess.
Anyway, it is sad that anyone blows evenings getting drunk when that feels like a waste of time. For those who love it, it is no problem, they are happy to be where they are.
EMW, could it be there was little to no activity at WWU because you were here during summer? I know the university in my home town (which is considerably larger than WWU) is always completely dead all summer long. There are a few summer courses, but hardly anyone takes them. It's like a ghost town.
Good point Lamplight.. Although, when I lived in Eugene, there was always a lot of things going on with the college even during the Summer. I am sure in a town as small as WWU, the school year may offer more extracurricular amenities. However, at 10,000+ students, WWU is not a small campus by any means, although it isn't a very large school either. On another note, I didn't really find Bellingham to offer very much amenities outside of music events or speakers, which usually IMO were very difficult to meet people and either attracted the loud-raging drunk crowd or, the latter, senior citizen crowd.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beenhere4ever
Anyway, it is sad that anyone blows evenings getting drunk when that feels like a waste of time. For those who love it, it is no problem, they are happy to be where they are.
I was only drunk two nights out of the 3 months I was in Bellingham. The first time it was because I was struggling with some major business problems. The second time was the same. I am still struggling, but I learned that getting drunk isn't really much of a solution. I have probably only been drunk like 5 times in the last 10 years. I really don't drink much and I am a health and fitness nut. Considering that most people in Bellingham abused their bodies, being Mr. Healthy also made me disliked. Also, I was not a pot smoker, which was another factor for people dismissing me as a not acceptable. Trust me, I use to be a hippy, pot-smoker, drunkard, raging person back in my younger days and I was a part of the groupie cliques that I so loathe now. I suppose I understand the mentality, but wish I had some other choices. Now that I am out of Bellingham, I have all these choices and feel much better. When I was talking about going to bars, I would spend most my time playing pool or just sitting and reading on my Tablet or Smart Phone while I watched all the other loud and wild Bellingham groupies guzzle down lots and lots of booze. It was quite depressing, but where else was I to go? One nice thing that happened from this experience is that I really started getting better at pool. I hadn't played pool so much in over a decade and the people at the bars were always helpful in teaching me their skills. People in Bellingham are good at pool I must say, because they spend a lot of times at bars playing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beenhere4ever
know that Sierra chapters are always doing healthy outdoor things. Are there any amateur sports leagues? In my area, we actually have a cricket league for the foreign students who come from South Asia. Also, there are a few socially-oriented singing groups. Probably about 30 years that a Sacred Harp group has been active. It is for shape note singing nuts. Anyway, not to beat a dead horse, but this is the kind of thinking that leads away from the lifestyle of spending every Friday night drinking. It also occurs to me to wonder if the U there doesn't sponsor a chess club. It is a small town, but I saw lots of Asians, and they tend to gravitate to games like chess. I have a couple offriends here who belong to the Scrabble underground. I caught a tiny glimpse one time when they went off for a weekend tournament.
I never thought about all these things. These do sound like good suggestions. I guess when you work 12+ hours a day, joining organizations and putting a lot of time into places like Sierra Club was not easy. On other note, I am sure if I stayed long enough, I would have eventually been able to find some such group and slowly meet people. If you are not a drunkard , druggy or college kid, socializing and meeting people in Bellingham takes a lot more effort. It is the most anti-social town I have ever been in my life.
I wonder how a relatively affluent, extroverted middle-aged male would fare in Farihaven or Bellingham? Not saying that I'm all that social, I like to hibernate too; but I make friends fairly easily everywhere and at least I already have friends in Bellingham.
I wonder how a relatively affluent, extroverted middle-aged male would fare in Farihaven or Bellingham? Not saying that I'm all that social, I like to hibernate too; but I make friends fairly easily everywhere and at least I already have friends in Bellingham.
You'll do fine. You'll just have to put more effort into initiating things with people. Dating would be the more difficult part to deal with though.
I wonder how a relatively affluent, extroverted middle-aged male would fare in Farihaven or Bellingham? Not saying that I'm all that social, I like to hibernate too; but I make friends fairly easily everywhere and at least I already have friends in Bellingham.
I appreciate the responses. I will be staying in a rental in Fairhaven for a week, so I can get a sense of the town. I usually am pretty good at getting a good idea about a place in a few days. I'm really looking forward to getting away from Orange County for a little while, even though I live by the beach in a very pretty town.
I've been living here for a couple months and have found it a tough place to meet people. I am in early-mid 30s and it seems people here are either younger (college-aged) or older and married. One thing I am noticing is people here are quite reserved and more often than not will turn their face rather than say hello to you when walking down the street. I have not experienced this in any of other places I have lived. It seems the most friendly people I meet here are transplants from other places.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone had good suggests of how a single 30-something non-college student male could go about meeting people in this very reserved town. I've been feeling a little bit depressed about the situation. I am sick of hanging out at bars and it seems that alcoholism and drug abuse are major problems here. Especially, alcoholism. I've never seen a place where people drink so much and so quickly. I do notice that the shy-personalities many people have when they are sober do open up a bit when they are saturated with booze. However, I would much rather make friends in a sober, clean environment. I have neither the money or desire to do lot of drinking, but that seems to be the only option here.
I've attempted to look into activities, groups and such, but there does't seem to be much going around here except loud music and drinking events. Meetup for Bellingham seems to only have groups centered for women and gay people.
Anyway, I am thinking of packing my bags and leaving this town. I subletted a temporary rental for the Summer. This town really is beautiful and the surrounding area, which is the one big thing I will miss about it and that makes me want to stay. However, I really don't find the people that friendly. There are some nice people I meet around town, but considering the reserved nature of the people and lack of events it is really tough to meet people. I am not rowdy, drunk and boisterous enough to survive in the bar scene here, which I don't like.
Also, I am not a Christian, so church activities won't help me.
I have heard the term "Seattle Freeze", well I feel like I am experiencing something similar, that I am coining as the "Bellingham Freeze". At least in Seattle there is social groups, activities and other types of things you can do to meet people. Not to mention all the transplants in the area who are new and looking for others in the same situation.
I am also growing very tired of the college element here. The loud, rowdy and rude college students are annoying. Also, so many of them are unfriendly and act like they are uber-cool and special. I just hate the arrogant attitude, although I remember back in my college days I may have had a little bit of this myself. I'd rather not have to go back in time and be around that element again.
I know I will encounter some very "passive aggressive" responses by locals for sharing my opinion about the place. The passive aggressiveness here is also very alarming. I've never been to a place where people get so offended for little things and give you these looks of death, like they want to tell you to drop dead, but do so in other ways like slamming your change on the table. One bartender rudely slammed my money at the table because I was complaining about the Wifi not working and said in a polite way I would have to find a place that had decent Wifi. He got mad at me and then acted real anal trying to pay me back. It is hard to explain, but I really feel I have encountered this "passive aggressiveness" that many talk about being so prevalent here.
Oh well, this town is really beautiful and if I didn't feel empty I would stay. Who knows, maybe I can just get use to the solitary living. I'm thinking Seattle though would have a better environment to meet more down-to-earth people. It seems the local element here doesn't have a lot of love for outsiders. The town is quite cliquey. The locals and college kids seem to hang among their own.
I think u just need a woman, by 30s small towns don't work if you're single. In the south I felt similar at only 29.
I think u just need a woman, by 30s small towns don't work if you're single. In the south I felt similar at only 29.
It's a 6-year-old thread. The OP is long gone.
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