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No, it's spending money that one doesn't have that's gotten us into the mess we're in.
I think if a couple wants to blow their own money, that's their prerogative. I'm more interested in the lavish weddings thrown for children by parents barely eking by.
I do not understand the concept of parents paying for a couple's wedding AT ALL. This is definitely something a couple should work out on their own with whatever money they can save themselves. If a couple has no money to get married, they probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
I do not understand the concept of parents paying for a couple's wedding AT ALL. This is definitely something a couple should work out on their own with whatever money they can save themselves. If a couple has no money to get married, they probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
Oh, I'm with you on that. Yet, people have just blithely gone along with that rationale.
Blithe couple here. (Well, half of one.) Our wedding was about $15K, paid for by my parents. My dad is self-employed, and I never had a good idea whether my parents were hurting for money, so I originally tried to plan a very modest wedding at my parents' house, where l lived. (I was 21 and in college.) My parents told me that I was their daughter and they were going to give us a nice wedding, so I let them. I did keep my mother in check, though, because she would have gone kind of nuts.
My husband's older brother and sister have a different mother than he does, and they are wealthy. Both of their weddings were about $250K. They were both gorgeous events, absolutely breathtaking and picturesque, but yeah, I'd rather have a house. They're different, though. They already had houses.
I'm with you JJ, and we throw some boffo parties. I just think I'd much rather throw a nice party on a modest budget with a few dozen friends and relatives than blow tens of thousands inviting half the planet. Of course, it's a preference thing if it's your own money. But when you're guilting your parents to pony up huge sums, that's something else.
I went to the jp. I got married in front of my mom and uncle's partner and 10 people waiting to sue their landlord right after. I'll be married 8 years next month. My husband's sister did the whole wedding and apparently was a bridezilla and her marriage lasted about a year or two.
Good post, CPG- I haven't popped the question to my GF yet, but I'm sure I will and the wedding expense is probably the thing I dread the most. I own a house, and have real expenses. I'm not at my parent's sleeping in a twin bed. I told my girl that I'm not interested in a big wedding, but I have a large family, her family's a decent size, and we have a lot of good family and friends, who have been waiting for the day that both of us get married (individually and collectively). So on one hand I feel the pressure to have a large reception, on the other I want to keep it small and intimate, and save that money for more tangible stuff.
I'm don't really care about the glitz and glam, I'll hire a good friend of mines who is a DJ and let him go to work. It's the price per head for a reception that's killing me 300 people at $25 is $7500!!!!. And my good friend who roomed with me while he saved for his wedding (just got married 3/15) pretty much told me that wedding expenses are counted in multiples of 1,000s LOL. So everything we consider, add another 1,000 to your bill. Extreme yes but not too far off.
I'd appreciate hearing the extremes as well, but then some more sensible stories as well.
I did see this MTV special one day, and they had a profile of like 4 weddings. There was one NJ couple who spent close to $40k on their wedding. They were middle class, probably late 20s. He was a hothead and she had all of this plastic surgery that made her look like that muppet lady that was in the band. They went all out- the limos, her dress, the bridal party, lobster and shrimp menu, and a huge invitation list.
Of course, MTV's following them around the whole time. I guess the groom was too stupid or did not care enough to make sure the complaining he was doing about the lack of funds included in the cards of the guests did not make the final cut. That's not why you invite a lot of people. It's not to make a ROI. Well in the end I think they got about 11k in total money, which was a far cry from what they spent. I bet if you did a follow up on that couple, they probably didn't make the year mark.
You know, a good friend of mine remarried a couple of years ago. She held it in somebody's back yard, only had her sister as a bridesmaid, and it was the most beautiful (and fun) wedding we had been to in a long time. She said her entire budget was only $3,000 for 100 guests.
My point is, EVEN IF you donate to other worthwhile projects, 60K is a lot of money. It could have done SO MUCH GOOD in this world, even saved a few lives.
I could just never in good conscience spend that kind of money on my own pleasure for a one day event, sorry.
1K is a lot of money in my book. What's the difference between choosing to frivolously spend 60K on a wedding as opposed to 1K? Based on your theory, shouldn't we all forgo wedding receptions and just donate our money? Doesn't every little bit help?
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300 people at $25 is $7500!!!!. And my good friend who roomed with me while he saved for his wedding (just got married 3/15) pretty much told me that wedding expenses are counted in multiples of 1,000s LOL. So everything we consider, add another 1,000 to your bill. Extreme yes but not too far off. 
