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I moved here @ 6 years ago and have not been happy since. My husband and I are in our early 50's and we have NO friends, other than our neighbors across the street. I have found it very difficult to meet people our age who enjoy having a beer occasionally or just getting together for dinners, etc. I miss being up north. It is beautiful here though, and I love the climate. Also, I've been looking for a job for months, with no luck. It's odd, as I have many years experience. I'm convinced it's my age.
I'm interested in what you said regarding no friends. You stated you are from up North. Do you think it is a cultural issue? Or people in the area don't like "outsiders."
From what I've read it seems like there are so many transplants in the area that this really shouldn't be an issue.
Have you tried to make friends and people arn't receptive?
I'm interested in what you said regarding no friends. You stated you are from up North. Do you think it is a cultural issue? Or people in the area don't like "outsiders."
From what I've read it seems like there are so many transplants in the area that this really shouldn't be an issue.
Have you tried to make friends and people arn't receptive?
I'm not totally convinced it's "the people", more like the difference in "culture". At the risk of being attacked here, I will say this....I have found that MOST people are extremely rude. For instance, in the grocery store. People will not excuse themselves, stand in the way..as though they are the only ones in the store. On the highway.....the same. RUDE drivers. Clueless...don't EVEN know what a signal is or how to yield. When you abide by the law and let a pedestrian cross, they shuffle, as though you don't exist. It's amazing. So, possibly, I have a bitter taste in my mouth from the start?
I have tried to find people our age who like the same things we like. No luck. Both my husband and myself are friendly people who love to have fun. We do downtown OFTEN, as there is not much to do where we live. I never see anyone our age out. Do YOU know where they hang out?
Thanks for the response. I really don't know because I don't live in Asheville at this time. I have spent a lot of time in WNC hiking and backpacking. The reason I am interested is because I too am looking to relocate eventually. But am looking currently in the Brevard/Waynesville area.
Thanks for the response. I really don't know because I don't live in Asheville at this time. I have spent a lot of time in WNC hiking and backpacking. The reason I am interested is because I too am looking to relocate eventually. But am looking currently in the Brevard/Waynesville area.
Hey, everyone! I was just reading your thread and was wondering if you could help me out. I'm from the midwest (oh my goodness!), and my husband is looking at a job possibility in Asheville, NC. We have four kids ranging in age from 10 to 1, so if you know anything about area schools...that would be helpful. Any information on towns 15-20 miles out in any direction would be helpful as well. If I'm intruding on your thread, please let me know. Just wanted to experience some "Southern Hospitality". Thanks!
Lived in a lot of places before moving to the area and thought Asheville would be my 'cultural' center. It is a great place for a visit but , unfortunately, Asheville just isn't as good as it could be. Panhandlers are bold and commonplace. Open drug use is tolerated. There also seems to be some prejudice against older people by the 20 somethings that frequent downtown. This is kind of interesting considering the number of older tourists and retirees flocking to the area. I've found Greenville, SC to be a much more friendly and vibrant city. Its less than 50 miles due south and much more diverse than Asheville. Not as pretty, but Main Street Greenville is one of the best in America. If you live south of Asheville, its an easy drive. Kind of a shame because Asheville could be really great.
Last edited by stoneyhill; 10-26-2007 at 10:29 AM..
jhicks - Not to make light of your response about "rude" behavior, but unfortunately, this is the case all over. We just move to WNC from Florida and rude behavior is at at epidemic proportions there...literally. I've found Hendersonville to be quite the opposite...found people here to be quite friendly...of course it's all in perspective I suppose.
I am a current Floridian, "in-between" mountain homes , and I agree with you completely. We are working on moving to Asheville--but here's how: we will only buy a re-sale home, would not even consider supporting a developer by purchasing new construction. We will, as we have always done, lend our volunteer support to any group we can find that is working toward preserving the natural landscape, and also support both with volunteer hours and financial support--any entity whose goal is PLANNED GROWTH. We are realists enough to know that the population on this planet is increasing, but we also know that it is possible to avoid rampant, unplanned development; thereby saving the beauty of the mountains, the habitats of the wildlife, and the purity of the air and water. We believe this all starts with each one of us respecting where we live, and working to save it.
And we have the utmost respect for native NC residents--who know more about the importance of all of the above than anyone!!!
Glad to hear that and welcome to Asheville.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhicks
I moved here @ 6 years ago and have not been happy since. My husband and I are in our early 50's and we have NO friends, other than our neighbors across the street. I have found it very difficult to meet people our age who enjoy having a beer occasionally or just getting together for dinners, etc. I miss being up north. It is beautiful here though, and I love the climate. Also, I've been looking for a job for months, with no luck. It's odd, as I have many years experience. I'm convinced it's my age.
Keep in mind the job market here kinda sucks unless you are in a medical field or want to sell your sould to the service industry(esp bars/restaurants/coffee shops). Low wages are also a problem here too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stoneyhill
Lived in a lot of places before moving to the area and thought Asheville would be my 'cultural' center. It is a great place for a visit but , unfortunately, Asheville just isn't as good as it could be. Panhandlers are bold and commonplace. Open drug use is tolerated. There also seems to be some prejudice against older people by the 20 somethings that frequent downtown. This is kind of interesting considering the number of older tourists and retirees flocking to the area. I've found Greenville, SC to be a much more friendly and vibrant city. Its less than 50 miles due south and much more diverse than Asheville. Not as pretty, but Main Street Greenville is one of the best in America. If you live south of Asheville, its an easy drive. Kind of a shame because Asheville could be really great.
Having lived both in and around Asheville for the past 8 years I have to disagree about panhandlers and open drug use. I really haven't seen all that much of it. I think those who see it are much more vocal about seeing it than those of us who don't see it on a regular basis. As a late 20 something myself I'll try and offer a bit of insight regarding the "prejudice" against older folks. I think it is partly because a lot of younger people feel threatened by the older folks moving in. Some of is because the values(political/social/morals etc) of most people in the younger crowd are not the same as those of most older people. Also, there is that underlying stereotype of wealthy retiree or soon to be retired couple that lives here half the year but has twice the influence of the 25 yr old that lives, works, pays taxes and votes here. Not saying everyone feels that way or that everyone moving here fits that stereotype though.
I've read through almost every thread on city-data regarding Asheville, as an opportunity may open up for me there. After being in the city the last couple of days, interviewing, conversing often with locals, and touring the town extensively on my own I can understand the polarization Asheville causes. That said, I think it would be most prudent to the discussions to know the POV each poster is commenting from (ie. age, work status, generalized political inclinations, extracirricular interests, etc).
Because of the nature of my business in town, I wore button down business attire which certainly caused me to standout a bit. That said, I think those who allow themselves to constantly "keep score" of the number of individuals distinctly unlike themselves will always search out differences in a negative light instead of worrying about themselves and the distinct opportunites an area can provide ... this really goes for Asheville or damn near any other locale.
I can understand if the supposed negatives of the city were overtly pervasive (ie panhandling, drug use) but I would have thought having walked the city streets for many hours over the weekend this would have been noticable, neither were. While there is a distinct "alternative, hippie, outdoorsy (however you want to classify it)" feeling about the downtown area, despite my obvious aesthetic differences to the more "norm/commonplace" I didn't feel uncomfortable (though a couple unshaven, dredded twenty somethings outside a burrito shop felt compelled to make a couple of comments about me, obviously on the basis of nothing more than my slacks and button down ... but you'll find idiots everywhere, it's whether you take any heed of them that it will begin to bother you or not, IMO).
I was neither strongly drawn to, nor turned off of the city by anything imparticular, but I think, at least for me, it's best to realize everyplace has both significant flaws and attractions. I'm from Texas and have lived in a few different locations here one being Denton (huge liberal slanting college, hippie population, very musical, slightly dirty, panhandlers/guitarist/incense peddlers sitting in front of bars, and plenty of diversity otherwise) and another being College Station (noticably homogenous, HUGE college in which the student body is surprisingly conservative, very church going, large formerly rural population, quite "country" in many respects). Point being, I enjoyed myself in both places ... maybe one moreso than the other, but still, there can be a slipperly slope effect when one begins focussing on the negatives; I've slid down that slope before and finally realized it served no constructive purpose.
FWIW - 25 and conservative to moderate political inclination
One question to locals ... UNCA is a very small college, but the college age and twenty somethings appeared seemingly populous, at least in the downtown areas I was in. What is the draw for this population? For many, at least around here, Asheville has a bit of a retirement community indentity, what keeps this younger crowd in the area? Is there another school in the town? With such a small UNC campus what is it about Asheville that gives it it's live music influence and what sustains its twentysomething crowd (as residents, not visitors)?
Last edited by MyNameIsKyle; 10-30-2007 at 10:38 AM..
I'm not totally convinced it's "the people", more like the difference in "culture". At the risk of being attacked here, I will say this....I have found that MOST people are extremely rude. For instance, in the grocery store. People will not excuse themselves, stand in the way..as though they are the only ones in the store. On the highway.....the same. RUDE drivers. Clueless...don't EVEN know what a signal is or how to yield. When you abide by the law and let a pedestrian cross, they shuffle, as though you don't exist. It's amazing. So, possibly, I have a bitter taste in my mouth from the start?
I have tried to find people our age who like the same things we like. No luck. Both my husband and myself are friendly people who love to have fun. We do downtown OFTEN, as there is not much to do where we live. I never see anyone our age out. Do YOU know where they hang out?
Have you ever considered that you reap what you sow? Without realizing it are you putting on "airs" of being superior and looking down your nose at us locals. Trust me many of those not from here do that, and probably without realizing it.
Through work I spent far too much time traveling and working in other parts of the country, and found the rudeness of northern cities to be way over the top, no one gives you a smile or a nod as you pass them on the street, no one. Those you see as rude in the grocery may well be another northerner thinking you are the rude local hick.
As for finding friends, you detailed the problem, yet you don't recognize that is the problem. Downtown is polluted with homeless beggars (the city estimates there are 600 homeless people in Asheville), sometimes aggressive, and young trustfarian's who's sole purpose is to stay high and offended everyone else. Then you state you do downtown a lot and can't find friends, well duh!
Church may not be your thing, but join a hiking club, a nature group, a bridge club or what ever your interests might be, at least it would give you common ground to meet others that are in similar circumstance. Take some adult education courses at UNCA, Mars Hill College, or continuing ed courses at ABTech. If you don't see many 50 somethings downtown, they you are shopping in the wrong aisle, go where the 50 something people get together.
As for making friends with "us dumb rude locals" as I'm sure we are viewed, it probably is a very remote possibility, as we have nothing in common, and yes that is our culture. I am as out of place as I can be up north, but here have a lot of good friends, who grew up in the south, simply because our cultures are similar and we can relate.
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, and I agree with you completely. We are working on moving to Asheville--but here's how: we will only buy a re-sale home, would not even consider supporting a developer by purchasing new construction. We will, as we have always done, lend our volunteer support to any group we can find that is working toward preserving the natural landscape, and also support both with volunteer hours and financial support--any entity whose goal is PLANNED GROWTH. We are realists enough to know that the population on this planet is increasing, but we also know that it is possible to avoid rampant, unplanned development; thereby saving the beauty of the mountains, the habitats of the wildlife, and the purity of the air and water. We believe this all starts with each one of us respecting where we live, and working to save it.
